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Night cramps



Man of Harveys

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
18,878
Brighton, UK
What the HELL is going on with my leg? For once I get a decent night's kip and I wake up screaming in pain for the 3-4th time in the past few months. I get a terrible cramp in my right calf which with a bit of frantic nocturnal rubbing (relax ladies) soon goes away, although it still aches a bit during the course of the day. Any advice short of amputation most welcome.
 








Commander

Arrogant Prat
NSC Patron
Apr 28, 2004
13,562
London
I have had the same thing, although I thought eating too much salt is what did it. Nasty isn't it? only way to get rid of it is to stand up and walk around. Haven't had it for ages though.

What an incredibly unhelpful reply that was.
 


Meade's Ball

Well-known member
Jul 7, 2003
13,653
Hither (sometimes Thither)
I'd visit a severer. That have syringes, plugs, scythes, cloths, cheese-gags and answers.



Go to a physio or a lower case masseur. Just got to understand the damage and know which doughnut to never once again devour.
 






Northstander

Well-known member
Oct 13, 2003
14,031
pishhead said:
not enough water in your diet, i usually get it after being on the beers for a few days.


i had this dis-comfort after drinking all day and having a few whiskeys and Iron Brew :lolol: at home....

That makes sense...ie nop water in the body!

Bloddy frustrating it was too!!!
 


It's alcohol deficiency. I suggest you start rectifying the situation at the Stamford Arms tomorrow, or a certain other venue tonight.
 




Gluteus Maximus

Active member
Jul 10, 2003
340
Trumpton
The Doc says - you don't drink enough in the course of the day. More water, without the yeast and hops.

Either that or you have a thrombosis and your leg needs amputating.
 


Beartown Seagull

New member
Jan 11, 2006
23
Brighton
Cramp is usually caused by dehydration so drink more water. But should you get cramp, you're best stretching your calf muscle (try and point your toes towards your head) rather than rubbing the muscle. Works quicker and normally prevents the continuous ache.
 






pishhead

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
5,248
Everywhere
I remember after a particular heavy session I stretched in my bed and that was it i seized up I had cramp in both legs in the arches of my feet, calfs and both hamstrings, I can safely say after breaking bones and doing my cruciate that the cramp was more painful than either of them.
 


Man of Harveys

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
18,878
Brighton, UK
Gluteus Maximus said:
The Doc says - you don't drink enough in the course of the day. More water, without the yeast and hops.

Either that or you have a thrombosis and your leg needs amputating.

It's always pretty much in the same place. Thrombosis, with chainsaw it is then.

Please thank the frankly gorgeous Doctrus Maximus from me - when are YOU and her coming over to drink more OUSEWATER?

And if it does need sawing off, I'd like your missus to do it.
 
Last edited:


Man of Harveys

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
18,878
Brighton, UK
Beartown Seagull said:
Cramp is usually caused by dehydration so drink more water. But should you get cramp, you're best stretching your calf muscle (try and point your toes towards your head) rather than rubbing the muscle. Works quicker and normally prevents the continuous ache.

That is excellent advice - I just did that and it hurt less, thanks. I'm walking slightly better as a result, i.e. slightly less like a haemerroidal Douglas Bader.
 




Gluteus Maximus

Active member
Jul 10, 2003
340
Trumpton
She'd rather saw it off than PULL IT OFF, that would take far too LONG for a SHORT leg.

Should be over in Nov. - going to Berlin first for a couple of days...
 


fatboy

Active member
Jul 5, 2003
13,094
Falmer
Man of Harveys said:
What the HELL is going on with my leg? For once I get a decent night's kip and I wake up screaming in pain for the 3-4th time in the past few months. I get a terrible cramp in my right calf which with a bit of frantic nocturnal rubbing (relax ladies) soon goes away, although it still aches a bit during the course of the day. Any advice short of amputation most welcome.

I have this - particularly after drinking.

It is something to do with too much acid in the muscle or something like that.
 


Starry

Captain Of The Crew
Oct 10, 2004
6,733
Man of Harveys said:
What the HELL is going on with my leg? For once I get a decent night's kip and I wake up screaming in pain for the 3-4th time in the past few months. I get a terrible cramp in my right calf which with a bit of frantic nocturnal rubbing (relax ladies) soon goes away, although it still aches a bit during the course of the day. Any advice short of amputation most welcome.

Are you pregnant?
 


seagullsovergrimsby

#cpfctinpotclub
Aug 21, 2005
43,946
Crap Town
Drink more water , sprinkle more salt on your chips. Cramp is natures way of telling you a bit of pain is good for you.
 




Trufflehound

Re-enfranchised
Aug 5, 2003
14,126
The democratic and free EU
Could also be due to bruising caused by walking into chairs and tables when pissed. I get that a lot.

Tell-tale signs are usually finding yellow and purple blotches on your legs in the morning.
 


Man of Harveys

Well-known member
Jul 9, 2003
18,878
Brighton, UK
Re: Re: Night cramps

Starry said:
Are you pregnant?
Yeah. You just can't trust girls these days. (copyright Vyvyan, The Young Ones, 1982)
 


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