Nick Names

[atfc village]

My ex boss 47 years young since he was about 10 known as Spaz ,he was ill a lot as a child and it's stuck not very pc i know.

 

[grubbyhands]

A mate of mine has a mate nicknamed Toblerone. Apparently 30 or so years ago he had a succession of hard tail ( no rear suspension) motor bikes. As a result of doing 000's of miles on said bikes he did some fairly serious damage to his "sitting down equipment" and after an operation to repair the damage he was left with a triangular back passage. Beggars belief doesn't it?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

"Nicknames....are....bad.....NAMES"

 

[KZNSeagull]

The noisiest git around here is called Whisper.

 

[Leighgull]

Lad I know decided to shave his head before a boys trip to Ireland.

To this day he's still known as "chemo"

 

[IndependentWSU]

I worked with a YTS lad and he introduced me to his 'New' girlfriend. I greeted her with 'Hi Yoyo'. Relationship didnt last but his name from that day forward was 'knob rot', which was nice.

 

[Kumquat]

I know a bloke who has a friend called Olaf. His nick name is Loaf because that's what comes up on predictive text when he types his name.

 

[Meade's Ball]

I won a pack of steaks from a Martha Gunn raffle about 12 Christmases ago. That isn't a pseudonym for the meaty hairless flaps of the 40 year old wench mentioned above. The problem for me in winning these is my vegetarianism. The same as a cannibal unwrapping a gift and finding the still beating body of Dot Cotton within. I didn't mention being a veggie in the Martha Gunn though. I thought they wouldn't like it. It's on the corner of Meades Ball family house road though, so it had to be visited every now and again.

 

[Bognor Bystander]

At school it seemed like guys with the short names like 'Jon' became 'Jonno' , people with longer surnames got theirs shortened so McGregor became 'Mac' and others were thought to be witty like a lad I lived near was nicknamed 'Glenda' real name Glyn Jackson. My own was 'Toon' at school but became 'Spanker' after the match report on my first goal said I spanked the ball into the net... still get called it occasionally by Beach Ball and Beggar

 

[Insel affe]

I worked with a chap we called four tacks, he was a carpet fitter of sorts he was so bad we joked that is all he did one in each corner.

 

[Brownstuff]

My mate's nickname is Maradonna as he is a complete lookalike
We also call him Toomanydonners

 

[Guinness Boy]

Bloke I worked with called Chi Chi because he had black rings round his eyes and only mated once every three years.

Also can't believe we're on page 2 of a nick name thread that mentions the Martha and no ones said the fatty tax man yet!

 

[Mowgli37]

My friend Thomas is known as Mash, made from the last three letters of his first name and the first letter of his surname

 

[blue2]

I knew a welder so bad his nick name was Teflon

 

[Hamilton]

Nick naming never stops.

We (group of blokes in 40s/50s) play football with a guy called Gay Designer Paul. He is neither gay, nor a designer, but when he first played against us he played for a design agency from London. It was decided that this was a bit 'gay' and therefore regardless of his profession or sexual preference he would be called 'Gay Designer Paul'.

Similarly 'Cowfold Chris' once played football for Cowfold. I'm not sure any of us know when.

'Theatre Chris' likes the theatre and once went.

'Bradford Chris' supports Bradford

'Brazil Chris' once went on holiday to Brazil and had to miss a game. He is forever Brazil Chris.

These names help to differentiate, but...

'Navy Nick' - is in the navy. We play with no other Nicks, so why his profession needs calling out I have no idea, but he is Navy Nick - never just Nick.

'Golden Balls' - once had a trial for West Brom and at the time we started playing the Beckham interview had just gone out. So, as the best player he was Golden Balls (has stuck ever since).

Boys love nicknames. We never stop. Girls don't really go about it the same way.

 

[Kumquat]

That last one reminded me of a fella at boarding school who was called "Flower". His real name was Mike Lander. I think. He was called Flower because one other kid said "The next person to walk through the door will be forever known as Flower." One of the many reasons i hated boarding school.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

A chap at my school became known as boner on account of his trouser fold looking like he had an erection. Five long years he carried that nickname.

Boner Beckett!

 

[Bodian]

Nick naming never stops.

We (group of blokes in 40s/50s) play football with a guy called Gay Designer Paul. He is neither gay, nor a designer, but when he first played against us he played for a design agency from London. It was decided that this was a bit 'gay' and therefore regardless of his profession or sexual preference he would be called 'Gay Designer Paul'.

Similarly 'Cowfold Chris' once played football for Cowfold. I'm not sure any of us know when.

'Theatre Chris' likes the theatre and once went.

Yes - very similar really. We play on a Wednesday night, on half a pitch. The guys on the other half had their bookings done by a chap who worked for Plumb Centre. Every now and again when numbers were low, we'd play them - they were collectively known as 'The Plumbers' - even though only one had this remote connection to plumbing. They're not there any more, but one of them comes along and has carried on playing with us, known as 'John the Plumber'. He's never asked why - but he must think it a bit odd...

 

[Cheggers]

I used to work with a bloke everyone called Hemorrhoids, because they said he was a pain in the arse. He was quite annoying I suppose.

 

[The Brighton Bear]

When I was a young lad in the 1960’s my granddad used to come back from the pub and my mum often asked if he had given any money to Spastic Bob. It was only later that I discovered that Bob didn’t have any disability at all, he just collected the money for the Spastics Society Football Pontoon each week.