el punal
Well-known member
Why? Don't vicars have sex, then?
I’m sure they do, but we are into “Ooh, err, missus!” territory with this one doncha think?
Why? Don't vicars have sex, then?
I only know of the myths of such events on Shoreham Beach. I lived there for 10 years, never got invited for "one of those parties".
My parents once bought a chest of drawers from the landlord and his wife at their local pub. Under some lining in the drawer was a few pictures of her playing about with his winky. Probably the most unsexy thing I have ever clapped eyes on. Lots of redeye and flash shadow. Terrible workmanship.
My oversexed 20-year-old mind went into meltdown when we arrived at the new house as the lady in question was there to meet us and direct us to put boxes and furniture in appropriate rooms. I don't think she'll have ever seen a young lad so keen to demonstrate his strength and hard-work ethic.
I have a little dilemma that I thought I'd seek the advice of NSC on. Having moved into a new house this week, when sorting out bits and bobs I found some highly personal, pleasure giving items in a draw in the master bedroom.
Now I'm wondering if I should either discreetly let them know they have left them, and ask if they want to collect (I'd need to contact them via Facebook) or should I just get rid?
What makes this even more fun is that we have a mutual friend with the previous owners, and we could well bump into them at a future social event.
So NSC - what do you think I should do?
Mate, I would check the room thoroughly, sounds like it may have a Hancock CCTV installed.
It's my daughter's room
Back in the 90's we were renovating a flat in a rather convoluted, old warehouse in Balmain. I was pulling the shower base out and ended up with a hole in the fc sheet which i then had to pull up revealing a trap cut in the floorboards beneath.I stuck my hand in and had a feel about and pulled out a black velour drawstring shoe bag , quite heavy with a few solid objects inside , i immediately thought stash or perhaps guns solent to the foreman who was a good mate and we locked ourselves in the site office to examine the contents which turned out to be 5 dildos of different size , colour and function .......one in particular had a suction cup on it , 2 "agitators" and was battery operated .....we had a bit of a giggle for 5 minutes and agreed we'd take them down the boozer after work ( The Bald Rock , about 150 mrs away) for a show and tell........so we're in the boozer at about 5 o'clock and this couple come in , probably late 50's early 60's .....weve got the suction cup thing stuck to a mirrored column on the bar , whizzing away, doing it's thing, in varying states of mirth .
The woman , a rather attractive ,raven haired, Northern Irish lady (as i later found out) was looking over to us regularly and rather quizzically. They went and sat at a table with their drinks and both began looking over and talking amongst themselves , we thought they were offended so the gizmo went back in it's draw string bag with with all the other Gizmo's , when the woman caught sight of the bag she blushed visibly and left the pub in a hurry.......we thought aw **** now we've done it but that's not the half of it.
About 5 minutes later the guys phone rings and after a short conversation he looks over to us with a thoroughly confused/bemused look on his face , gets up and walks over and strikes up a conversation ..."how ye going' lads" "where ya working'" "what'd ya do" all that sort of stuff
Long story short i had busted through into their linen cupboard and the bag was the woman's ( Laura).
It was really funny as i'm sure you can imagine , he couldn't believe it , i couldn't believe it ....my boss just sat there pissing himself laughing and looking at me shaking his head.
i was probably about 23 at the time so was thinking where the **** do we go from here , expecting to get done for theft or something when bugger me if the bird does't come marching back into the pub , straight up to me with what could only be described as a belligerent , haughty but amazingly sexy look on her face , she picked the bag up of the bar , looked at me and said in an unbelievable accent "do i need to be washing these now ye dirty thing ya?" she then winked at my boss and the other lads who all roared with laughter and i just put my head in my hands , she leant in and whispered in my ear " no harm done darlin".
What a woman ....!! we got to know them , they were great people , we had numerous seshes with them and we even got invited to the guys 60th where Laura and i partook of some bolivian and she told me the bag was a souvenir from when she worked as an escort in London while she was a Uni.
True story.....
Have been wondering how they could have forgotten, because surely they'd be the things you'd be thinking you wouldn't want others to see. But then maybe they were more concerned about packing other things that were more in need of discretion - maybe there was a full dungeon they carefully stowed into boxes. Maybe even a gimp. Perhaps the whole house was given over to depravity on an epic scale meaning a few small bedroom toys were an easy oversight?