[Misc] My wife threatened me with

[Questions]

An Austrian smoked cheese last week. She held it like a dagger and snarled at me over something ( don’t ask me what)

What smoked cheese have you been threatened with ?
It could be any foodstuff if you want.
The last time she went for me before that was when she threw a fully laden Donor kebab at me but that was 20 years ago now.

 

[bhafc99]

Did she edam you to hell?


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[Justice]

Not very mature

 

[Giraffe]

Cheddar say sorry afterwards?

 

[AK74]

 

[Thunder Bolt]

You must treat her more Caerphilly.

 

[Clive Walker]

An Austrian smoked cheese last week. She held it like a dagger and snarled at me over something ( don’t ask me what)

What smoked cheese have you been threatened with ?
It could be any foodstuff if you want.
The last time she went for me before that was when she threw a fully laden Donor kebab at me but that was 20 years ago now.

something must have really grated on her

 

[studio150]

Did she edam you to hell?


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Do you know edam is the only cheese that is made backwards

 

[Si Gull]

Sounds like a fetaccompli to me.

 

[MattBackHome]

I am threatened by Mrs MBH every time I bring home an oozing slab of Burwash Rose and the entire house immediately reeks to high heaven. But it's the best cheese in the world and so well worth it.

 

[Deleted member 2719]

Curd you not have seen this coming?
She sound whey out of order.

 

[CliveWalkerWingWizard]

Were you gouda(ing) her?

 

[Hendrax]

Do you know edam is the only cheese that is made backwards

Brilliant

 

[A1X]

Brilliant

Brieliant

 

[clapham_gull]

Some would say if you were a "man" chego, but it's best to make up and tell her you love her in queso didn't know it.

 

[Jim D]

An Austrian smoked cheese last week. She held it like a dagger and snarled at me over something ( don’t ask me what).

Was it because you offered her your Stinking Bishop?

 

[clapham_gull]

Cheddar say sorry afterwards?

When he gets a-rind to it.

 

[Poojah]

Genuine story. I had a bit of a tumultuous relationship with my old man growing up, particularly in the months leading up to me finally moving out when I was 18. On one particular occasion, he came home on his lunch break to find me undressed and rolling a joint in the living room (I always smoked 'em outside).

An argument ensued and culminated in him properly losing his shít and beginning to throw the contents of the kitchen fruit bowl at me - there were literally apples and pears flying everywhere. I successfully managed to dodge everything with the exception of a piece of flesh from the banana he was eating at the time, which caught me square on the eyeball, which was surprisingly painful.

This caused me some temporary sight loss which required me to wear an eye patch for a couple of weeks. Bad enough in itself, but compounded by the fact that a few months earlier one of my mates had very sadly permanently lost the use of his eye in a hit and run accident in which he was nearly killed, and had been forced to wear an eye patch himself. Naturally, everyone thought I was taking the píss, and it didn't go down well.

"How did you hurt your eye then, you dickhead?"

"Erm, my dad hit me in the eye with a banana."

You probably had to be there, but my life in those crazy days was very surreal.

 

[Frankie]

Just Brie caerphilly next time .

 

[LamieRobertson]

No matter which way you slice it you probably grate her so it was a bit of a feta accompli ....were you a bit cheesed off