My FIRST night as STEWARD at the North STAND turnstyles last night

[Ernest]

I am a BIT skint LATELY so I SINGED up to be a STEWARD and last night was MY first on DUTY. I was on the NORTH Stand turnstiles on BAG searching DUTIES with 'BIG HILDA' and when WE saw this BIG fat CHAP staggering up to the TURNSTILE Big Hilda told me to WATCH and learn. Trouble was HE got a bit lippy with HER and as she is a DIKE she DIDN'T like his SUGGESTION for her to have a RUMMAGE in his Y FRONTS for a WEAPON.

She let HIM go him and TOLD me not to WORRY as she will LET him think he HAS got away with IT and then NAB him on KICK off TIME. It worked LIKE perfect and after 40 minutes he was QUEUING for another PIE and by the LOOK of him he HASN'T had A salad in YEARS. HILDA grabbed him and GOT the old bill over and WE had his SEASON ticket off him and SAID he would GET a 2 year ban.

I even GOT a text FROM Paul Barber THIS morning CONGRATULATING me on my FIRST North Stand EJACULATION and he WISHED me GOOD luck and hope you HAVE many MORE.

 

[TheJasperCo]

Who knew STEWARDS had such a GOOD sense of HUMOUR?

 

[terryberry1]

I am a BIT skint LATELY so I SINGED up to be a STEWARD and last night was MY first on DUTY. I was on the NORTH Stand turnstiles on BAG searching DUTIES with 'BIG HILDA' and when WE saw this BIG fat CHAP staggering up to the TURNSTILE Big Hilda told me to WATCH and learn. Trouble was HE got a bit lippy with HER and as she is a DIKE she DIDN'T like his SUGGESTION for her to have a RUMMAGE in his Y FRONTS for a WEAPON.

She let HIM go him and TOLD me not to WORRY as she will LET him think he HAS got away with IT and then NAB him on KICK off TIME. It worked LIKE perfect and after 40 minutes he was QUEUING for another PIE and by the LOOK of him he HASN'T had A salad in YEARS. HILDA grabbed him and GOT the old bill over and WE had his SEASON ticket off him and SAID he would GET a 2 year ban.

I even GOT a text FROM Paul Barber THIS morning CONGRATULATING me on my FIRST North Stand EJACULATION and he WISHED me GOOD luck and hope you HAVE many MORE.

HILDA sounds like a right lippy BITCH

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

I even GOT a text FROM Paul Barber THIS morning CONGRATULATING me on my FIRST North Stand EJACULATION

Why was Paul Barber in the North Stand giving you a hand job

 

[The Andy Naylor Fan Club]

Damn. I have now got a mental image of BIG HILDA having her own big weapon stuffed in her y fronts...

It is not a very nice thought at all.

 

[CHAPPERS]

That would have been relatively amusing if not for the capitals.

OH WELL

 

[1066familyman]

Ernest in FINE form

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

i even got a text from paul barber this morning congratulating me on my first north stand ejaculation and he wished me good luck and hope you have many more.

 

[Bladders]

 

[dingodan]

It's good.

 

[saslowi]

I even GOT a text FROM Paul Barber THIS morning CONGRATULATING me on my FIRST North Stand EJACULATION and he WISHED me GOOD luck and hope you HAVE many MORE.

Does this account for the pair of sticky underpants found left in the loo?

 

[StillHateBellotti]

I am a BIT skint LATELY so I SINGED up to be a STEWARD and last night was MY first on DUTY. I was on the NORTH Stand turnstiles on BAG searching DUTIES with 'BIG HILDA' and when WE saw this BIG fat CHAP staggering up to the TURNSTILE Big Hilda told me to WATCH and learn. Trouble was HE got a bit lippy with HER and as she is a DIKE she DIDN'T like his SUGGESTION for her to have a RUMMAGE in his Y FRONTS for a WEAPON.

She let HIM go him and TOLD me not to WORRY as she will LET him think he HAS got away with IT and then NAB him on KICK off TIME. It worked LIKE perfect and after 40 minutes he was QUEUING for another PIE and by the LOOK of him he HASN'T had A salad in YEARS. HILDA grabbed him and GOT the old bill over and WE had his SEASON ticket off him and SAID he would GET a 2 year ban.

I even GOT a text FROM Paul Barber THIS morning CONGRATULATING me on my FIRST North Stand EJACULATION and he WISHED me GOOD luck and hope you HAVE many MORE.

Brilliant

 

[MattBackHome]

Lol x

 

[HastingsSeagull]

very good one of these

 

[Deleted member 18477]

Lol x

da f***?

 

[Stat Brother]

I was laughing before opening the thread.

Many try but none can better Ernest.

Top work hun lol's xxxx

 

[Motogull]

 

[chucky1973]

roll on the floor laughing.

 

[Daffy Duck]

Ernest, you can be boring and predictable sometimes..........but that was bloody funny!

 

[Foolg]