I used to work opposite a bar owned by Simon Jordan in Warwick St,W1. He turned up for a photoshoot one day in a luxury car and adopted a pose (fully clothed, thankfully) on the bonnet. 3 minutes into the shoot, a traffic warden came along and gave him a ticket. Jordan's cheesy grin wavered only slightly throughout, as the photographer paused for a few seconds.
Mine is also a palace fan but the funny thing is he always comes in on a Monday and asks how did palace do at the weekend, like I give a ****. Oh I do today so will just have to tell him "You want the truth, you can't handle the truth"