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[Misc] Music for your wake …









FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,489
Crawley
This is honestly true.

My Mother in Law was cremated about 8 years ago, and as the curtains closed around the coffin, her favourite song played.

Smoke gets in your eyes, by the Platters.

I couldn’t understand why I was the only one who found it funny.
As the curtains closed, my mum had "Wish me luck as you wave me goodbye" (at her choice/insistence) recorded by Vera Lynn - she even got us to supply the handkerchiefs specially printed for the occasion - hilarious!! and appreciated and approved by all.

Miss you mum X
 


FamilyGuy

Well-known member
Jul 8, 2003
2,489
Crawley
The wake for a distant relative of my wife was held in a pub in Buxton with a dancefloor. Proper DJ playing the favourites of the deceased. So were dancing to Northern Soul at 3pm on a Friday afternoon!
Fantastic!! (y)
 


















Tony Towner's Fridge

Well-known member
Aug 22, 2003
5,538
GLASGOW,SCOTLAND,UK
Simple


Riders on the Storm (Long version)- The Doors
The End. - The Doors
Light my Fire (Long Version) -The Doors
TNBA
TTF
meant to add one more

When the music's over (Long Version) -The Doors

That's guaranteed to test even the strongest bladder in the room and many will wish they had either never known me or come along :).

Cancel my subscription to the resurrection!


TNBA

TTF
 






herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,632
Still in Brighton
Rewriting my Will at the moment and have decided on a direct cremation and memorial service with my ashes present, the service itself must be somewhere close to nature (probably Clayton Hill) and well away from a church building or crematorium. Awful places imho and everyone I've ever spoken to hates the curtain closing bit. Interesting reading about the differences between memorial service and funeral (casket always present). I like the fact that it can be so much less stressful with direct cremation (much less of a rush to decide things and therefore less pressure, more time to grieve, and much less expense of course). I've also never met anyone who has chosen to visit someone lying in state or had an open coffin funeral so why bother and then again I've never visited a grave stone or known anyone do so, so I'm happy to have my ashes scattered in nature. A memorial service can have virtually the same structure, if wanted, as a funeral and still with me present in an urn rather than an expensive casket, so not much difference there. A funeral is more about paying respects and sombre while the memorial service can be more uplifting. Personally I'm never comfortable getting suited and booted so I also like that people can dress more casually if they wish to at a memorial.

Back on thread, I am having some issues with music though. I would like some singing but of course hymns are religious (I'm not, obviously) and there's no way of getting way from the fact that songs chosen for a funeral/memorial service can potentially ruin that song for people (I was thinking of a nice singalong to well known tunes Here Comes the Sun or Lean on Me, perhaps). Free bird and Dock of the Bay for example, when they pop on the radio I go straight back to remembering the service for my best friend who took her own life. Can't listen to them in full. Seems a bit unfair for dead-me to potentially taint living-others' favourite songs.

Then a lot of my favourite tunes, eg If I Should Fall Behind by Springsteen, Lets Straighten It Out by OV Wright aren't really suitable, lyric wise, I guess. Might choose a few more obscure songs I love written by famous artists, Tom Waits or Neil Young.

The rest of what I want (suggestions for family not a rigid thing, I want them to do what they feel best also) has been quite easy but the music I'm finding it surprisingly hard!

One reason also for doing this now (also prompted by a recent funeral and an upcoming one) is I'm hoping to give my wishes to mum and dad so they, for chrissake, give me some ideas what they might want! (being in their 80s) and to reduce some stress for me around that. My dad has always been a I dont care, do what you like type but this, frankly, annoys me a bit as a death and funeral can be very stressful, obviously, for the family or sometimes the one person who has to sort it all out.

probably have a reading from a snippet of kurt vonnegut about moments in time being permanent and that death is just one of those moments in time, the rest still remain.

apols for the long dull post..
 
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A mex eyecan

Well-known member
Nov 3, 2011
3,802
Rewriting my Will at the moment and have decided on a direct cremation and memorial service with my ashes present, the service itself must be somewhere close to nature (probably Clayton Hill) and well away from a church building or crematorium. Awful places imho and everyone I've ever spoken to hates the curtain closing bit. Interesting reading about the differences between memorial service and funeral (casket always present). I like the fact that it can be so much less stressful with direct cremation (much less of a rush to decide things and therefore less pressure, more time to grieve, and much less expense of course). I've also never met anyone who has chosen to visit someone lying in state or had an open coffin funeral so why bother and then again I've never visited a grave stone or known anyone do so, so I'm happy to have my ashes scattered in nature. A memorial service can have virtually the same structure, if wanted, as a funeral and still with me present in an urn rather than an expensive casket, so not much difference there. A funeral is more about paying respects and sombre while the memorial service can be more uplifting. Personally I'm never comfortable getting suited and booted so I also like that people can dress more casually if they wish to at a memorial.

Back on thread, I am having some issues with music though. I would like some singing but of course hymns are religious (I'm not, obviously) and there's no way of getting way from the fact that songs chosen for a funeral/memorial service can potentially ruin that song for people (I was thinking of a nice singalong to well known tunes Here Comes the Sun or Lean on Me, perhaps). Free bird and Dock of the Bay for example, when they pop on the radio I go straight back to remembering the service for my best friend who took her own life. Can't listen to them in full. Seems a bit unfair for dead-me to potentially taint living-others' favourite songs.

Then a lot of my favourite tunes, eg If I Should Fall Behind by Springsteen, Lets Straighten It Out by OV Wright aren't really suitable, lyric wise, I guess. Might choose a few more obscure songs I love written by famous artists, Tom Waits or Neil Young.

The rest of what I want (suggestions for family not a rigid thing, I want them to do what they feel best also) has been quite easy but the music I'm finding it surprisingly hard!

One reason also for doing this now (also prompted by a recent funeral and an upcoming one) is I'm hoping to give my wishes to mum and dad so they, for chrissake, give me some ideas what they might want! (being in their 80s) and to reduce some stress for me around that. My dad has always been a I dont care, do what you like type but this, frankly, annoys me a bit as a death and funeral can be very stressful, obviously, for the family or sometimes the one person who has to sort it all out.

probably have a reading from a snippet of kurt vonnegut about moments in time being permanent and that death is just one of those moments in time, the rest still remain.

apols for the long dull post..
Seems many of us in here are in a similar place.
choosing the songs is the hard part, and also agree with tainting them with emotion for the surviving friends and relatives. What I’ve done is to choose ones which have meant so much to me in my life, fortunately my taste in music is very different to my children’s etc that their not overly likely to ever listen to them again 😀
 




herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,632
Still in Brighton
Seems many of us in here are in a similar place.
choosing the songs is the hard part, and also agree with tainting them with emotion for the surviving friends and relatives. What I’ve done is to choose ones which have meant so much to me in my life, fortunately my taste in music is very different to my children’s etc that their not overly likely to ever listen to them again 😀
Good thread, mate.
 


Jul 20, 2003
20,622
I want My Bloody Valentine 'Loveless' played at such an earbleedingly loud volume that it causes an international incident.


the whole album


twice
 


The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
25,994
West is BEST
Rewriting my Will at the moment and have decided on a direct cremation and memorial service with my ashes present, the service itself must be somewhere close to nature (probably Clayton Hill) and well away from a church building or crematorium. Awful places imho and everyone I've ever spoken to hates the curtain closing bit. Interesting reading about the differences between memorial service and funeral (casket always present). I like the fact that it can be so much less stressful with direct cremation (much less of a rush to decide things and therefore less pressure, more time to grieve, and much less expense of course). I've also never met anyone who has chosen to visit someone lying in state or had an open coffin funeral so why bother and then again I've never visited a grave stone or known anyone do so, so I'm happy to have my ashes scattered in nature. A memorial service can have virtually the same structure, if wanted, as a funeral and still with me present in an urn rather than an expensive casket, so not much difference there. A funeral is more about paying respects and sombre while the memorial service can be more uplifting. Personally I'm never comfortable getting suited and booted so I also like that people can dress more casually if they wish to at a memorial.

Back on thread, I am having some issues with music though. I would like some singing but of course hymns are religious (I'm not, obviously) and there's no way of getting way from the fact that songs chosen for a funeral/memorial service can potentially ruin that song for people (I was thinking of a nice singalong to well known tunes Here Comes the Sun or Lean on Me, perhaps). Free bird and Dock of the Bay for example, when they pop on the radio I go straight back to remembering the service for my best friend who took her own life. Can't listen to them in full. Seems a bit unfair for dead-me to potentially taint living-others' favourite songs.

Then a lot of my favourite tunes, eg If I Should Fall Behind by Springsteen, Lets Straighten It Out by OV Wright aren't really suitable, lyric wise, I guess. Might choose a few more obscure songs I love written by famous artists, Tom Waits or Neil Young.

The rest of what I want (suggestions for family not a rigid thing, I want them to do what they feel best also) has been quite easy but the music I'm finding it surprisingly hard!

One reason also for doing this now (also prompted by a recent funeral and an upcoming one) is I'm hoping to give my wishes to mum and dad so they, for chrissake, give me some ideas what they might want! (being in their 80s) and to reduce some stress for me around that. My dad has always been a I dont care, do what you like type but this, frankly, annoys me a bit as a death and funeral can be very stressful, obviously, for the family or sometimes the one person who has to sort it all out.

probably have a reading from a snippet of kurt vonnegut about moments in time being permanent and that death is just one of those moments in time, the rest still remain.

apols for the long dull post..
I agree with all of this.

Especially Kurt Vonnegut reading.

I love his piece about not knowing what is the good news and what is the bad news in life. You can never tell until a situation plays all the way out. And that when he gets to the pearly gates the first thing he’s going to ask is

“Okay God! What was the good news and what was the bad news”?

Love it.
 


The Clamp

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 11, 2016
25,994
West is BEST
I’d like this read out at a memorial on the South Downs. Then they can all go to the pub.


The Dash’ by Linda Ellis​

I read of a man who stood to speak

At the funeral of a friend

He referred to the dates on the tombstone

From the beginning…to the end




He noted that first came the date of birth

And spoke the following date with tears,

But he said what mattered most of all

Was the dash between those years




For that dash represents all the time

That they spent alive on earth.

And now only those who loved them

Know what that little line is worth




For it matters not, how much we own,

The cars…the house…the cash.

What matters is how we live and love

And how we spend our dash.




So, think about this long and hard.

Are there things you’d like to change?

For you never know how much time is left

That can still be rearranged.




If we could just slow down enough

To consider what’s true and real

And always try to understand

The way other people feel.




And be less quick to anger

And show appreciation more

And love the people in our lives

Like we’ve never loved before.




If we treat each other with respect

And more often wear a smile,

Remembering this special dash

Might only last a little while




So, when your eulogy is being read

With your life’s actions to rehash…

Would you be proud of the things they say

About how you spent YOUR dash?
 




Jul 20, 2003
20,622
My favourite REM song finishes with a flourish


I'm not scared,I'm outta here
I'm not scared, I'm outta here


 
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herecomesaregular

We're in the pipe, 5 by 5
Oct 27, 2008
4,632
Still in Brighton
I agree with all of this.

Especially Kurt Vonnegut reading.

I love his piece about not knowing what is the good news and what is the bad news in life. You can never tell until a situation plays all the way out. And that when he gets to the pearly gates the first thing he’s going to ask is

“Okay God! What was the good news and what was the bad news”?

Love it.
He does write beautifully (obviously) although I admit I've always struggled a bit "getting" this passage you refer to, it fries my simple brain 😆
 


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