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Johnny Byrne-The Greatest
I hate Palace but that's because it's in the blood. I'm a Sussex lad. We're genetically programmed to hate the scum. Their fans are another matter. I know a fair few Palace fans and apart from the fact that they're unlucky enough or stupid enough to be Palace fans, they're okay. Shit - it must be doubly hard supporting a shit side in london. At least down here there's no-one near for the plastic spastics to support.
But Man Utd. ....Man Utd.
No - it's not jealousy, if it was I'd just support those c unts, put on one of their tops and give it the Billy Big Bollocks down the pub. I hate them for being the first franchise. For paving the way for the state of modern football. That sweaty c unt Taggart moaning about too many games but then playing friendlies in their Far East heartland. For players being too injured to okay for their country yet always somehow play for their club. Yes, That's you Giggs, you ****.
For their manager. What a ****. A complete ****. Piss on him if he was on fire? Hd happily watch that strawberry nosed **** burn. Shit, I'd chuck on the lighter fluid. You arrogant prick.
Their club...too f***ing busy for the FA Cup? Don't give me that bollocks about being asked to play in the club world cup - do a Wenger and send kids out, but oh no. You had to request not to play. Utter cu nts.
Their fans - well, where do I start? Has anyone met a nice Man u fan? Utter pub bores. But you know what? I wouldn't swap any of their premiership wins for that feeling I had after the Oldham game the other week. I saw MY side, my crap 3rd division side, score with the last kick-off the game to go top of the league. And I was surrounded by friends (real football going friends) and my two children too. You cannot buy that feeling I had that day because it's not for sale and you can't recreate it watching footie in a pub.
The commentators - go f***ing do one. Just f***ing do one. Just because I'm English does NOT make me support all teams English. I don't care about Man U's progress in the Champion's League. Can you not understand that? Stop this wankfest. Really, just stop it.
My hatred for Man U is as deep as my love for the Albion because what they both represent.
I've said it before and I'll say it again. If (God, I wish) Man U ever went out of existence - I'd probably be the happiest man alive.
If Carlsberg wrote posts.............