[Humour] Misinterpreted Text Messages

[Triggaaar]

* To save embarrassment to the person concerned, Ron, I have changed the name.

 

[Triggaaar]

Just signing your initials these days then?

Charlie Oatway can't even do that

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Some years ago I ended an email to an American colleague with 'well, best crack on'. Apparently this common English expression hasn't made its way to Oklahoma, and for several days, till she felt compelled to ask what I meant, my colleague thought I had breezily disclosed a drug habit

 

[Questions]

I often text **** to be people and it comes out as ****

 

[Sheebo]

Some years ago I ended an email to an American colleague with 'well, best crack on'. Apparently this common English expression hasn't made its way to Oklahoma, and for several days, till she felt compelled to ask what I meant, my colleague thought I had breezily disclosed a drug habit

Pls get off the crack H - you won’t regret it

 

[JamesAndTheGiantHead]

My son used to be a big american football fan. He was a bit puzzled when I predictively texted to ask if he was staying up late to watch the superb owl

 

[Bodian]

My phone changes Waitrose to waitress on occasion.
luckily Mrs DiS laughed when she received “just popping in to Waitress”.

Oh yes - the old 'spellcheck error' excuse comes in handy now and then.

 

[The Clamp]

My old iPhone used to auto correct Aunty Cynthia to Aunty C*nt.

No way to address a 67 year old church warden

 

[chimneys]

I managed to get the word virginal in a email at work by mistake.

Are you a gyno?

 

[Bodian]

I have autocorrect at work to make sure that any references to 'Pubic Inquiry', 'Pubic Footpath' and so on are sent out as they should be....

 

[Questions]

My phone changes Waitrose to waitress on occasion.
luckily Mrs DiS laughed when she received “just popping in to Waitress”.

I had the same happen to me when one of my texts to Mrs Q inadvertently changed to “why don’t you get out of my life you evil, scheming bitch”
We did laugh.

 

[Eeyore]

F****n C**t used to translate into 'Dublin Aunt'

A friend and I used to refer to awful folk as Dublin Aunts from then on. I still use it.

 

[Worried Man Blues]

I like the one where the mother sends a text to her daughter, 'Aunt Mavis has died lol', she thought lol meant lots of love!

 

[Eeyore]

Of course, the worst thing is the sticky keyboard and a missing letter. The resistant letter 'F' being the worst offender.

A prude work colleague once sent out an unaudited email to her team telling them about the 'times of their shits' for the following week.

 

[clapham_gull]

I remember someone announcing new "porn" on an internal email regarding a channel for young people, can't remember the context.

My mate worked for a German bank in the city and when they moved offices next door an email went out with subject "the occupation can now commence !".

My complete favourite:

I worked for a company that got taken over by Americans. The senior management team had the most excruciating biographies on the intranet.

The finance director's started with "Hi I'm Randy, I breed Llamas and my family are full of spunk."

It was years before they took it down.

 

[clapham_gull]

On so many occasions I can't even remember, if I'm writing some SQL (database search language) on a presentation or zoom etc...

I tend to type "COUNT", by omitting the O, back spacing and inserting the O at the end.

 

[Petunia]

Not exactly misinterpreted, but a friend meant to send a text message to his girlfriend whilst in the pub one night.
Unfortunately for all concerned he sent it to his wife instead

 

[ElectricNaz]

Sort of misinterpreted. My wife a year or so ago asked me via WhatsApp when she was at work and I was WFH to "pick up all the cat toys and put them in a bowl in the fridge."

Anyway two hours later I sent her a pic, as the cat toys were nicely chilled, asking BTW why do they need to be in the fridge

She meant in a bowl ON the fridge (as in on top to keep them out of sight). Tbf I don't question her so me putting them in the fridge wasn't based on a typo, I just assumed she had a system in place haha

 

[El Presidente]

Can you help uncle Jack off the horse?

 

[thejackal]

Context is everything. And punctuation.