[Albion] Mathematically safe

[Lady Whistledown]

And he'll get to A&E and tell them he was just trying to open a bottle of champagne with his buttocks and "that's how the cork ended up there, nurse", and they'll nod in a poker faced manner and go "Uh-huh, OK" like they do with all such admissions.

Just to be clear, I know this not from personal experience but because some years ago I was in A & E with a one of our service users, and I was bored so I asked a nurse exactly how common it was for patients to be admitted with items stuck either in or on them.

And she told me it happens all the time, and they always say it was accidental and they fell on it, and whatever it was they were doing to accidentally fall on it, they always happened to be naked at the time

 

[Bry Nylon]

That's it then - the season's over.

The players are going to be on the beach.

I'm not sure i can be arsed with any more games - see you all in August.

Do you want me to switch off the lights and unplug the random Infraction generator?

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Do you want me to switch off the lights and unplug the random Infraction generator?

Just un-ban a few posters, for a laugh.

 

[A1X]

Definitely worth an acknowledgment no matter what else is going on. Always remember where you’ve come from.

We will now play a minimum of 9 consecutive seasons in the Premier League. NINE. That will put us joint 20th in the list of longest PL spells*, alongside Coventry and Leicester. We will be ahead in terms of total number of seasons in the PL* of Massive, #Twats, Sheffield United, Charlton, Wigan and Watford.


*Yes, football didn’t start in 1992 blah blah whatever

 

[Bry Nylon]

Just un-ban a few posters, for a laugh.

If Bushy suddenly appears in the middle of the Brighton Station Memories thread, all wild-eyed and sweary with some on-lines scores to settle, you’ll know what’s happened

 

[Pevenseagull]

Just in time for Sussex CCC first pre season friendly on Thursday.

 

[Triggaaar]

Just to be clear, I know this not from personal experience but because some years ago I was in A & E with a one of our service users, and I was bored so I asked a nurse exactly how common it was for patients to be admitted with items stuck either in or on them.

And she told me it happens all the time, and they always say it was accidental and they fell on it, and whatever it was they were doing to accidentally fall on it, they always happened to be naked at the time

I'm making a promise to myself that if that ever happens to me (and I neither confirm nor deny that it could), I'll have the guts to tell them I was trying to get myself off.

 

[ManOfSussex]

If Bushy suddenly appears in the middle of the Brighton Station Memories thread, all wild-eyed and sweary with some on-lines scores to settle, you’ll know what’s happened

Rangers won the old firm derby today, so careful what you wish for.

 

[nickbrighton]

If Ipswich and Leicester get no more points-which is not only possible, but even likely, and Southampton don't somehow get 10 more points we were actually safe after the City game on 9th November after 11 games. Have we ever been safe, in any division that early before?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Just to be clear, I know this not from personal experience but because some years ago I was in A & E with a one of our service users, and I was bored so I asked a nurse exactly how common it was for patients to be admitted with items stuck either in or on them.

And she told me it happens all the time, and they always say it was accidental and they fell on it, and whatever it was they were doing to accidentally fall on it, they always happened to be naked at the time

Forty five years ago I worked for a publisher (Derwent publications) where I converted science and medicine research papers into abstracts for a system known as Ringdoc.

One job was abstracting a volume of a surgery journal. One paper was about dealing with anal injuries and unusual 'lost items' reported as 'accident'.
There were the standard 'I was doing the vacuum cleaning in the nude, and' case reports.
But one involved the removal of a garden implement from the bum of a bloke who claimed he had fallen out of a tree while birdwatching in the nude,
and landed on said object as he hit the ground.
I can tell you that this caused much hilarity at the offices of Derwent publications that day.

This, only a couple of years after my flatmate had genuinely torn himself a new one,
after slipping when climbing over a spiked fence, when taking a short cut to get the bus into college.

 

[Eeyore]

Forty five years ago I worked for a publisher (Derwent publications) where I converted science and medicine research papers into abstracts for a system known as Ringdoc.

One job was abstracting a volume of a surgery journal. One paper was about dealing with anal injuries and unusual 'lost items' reported as 'accident'.
There were the standard 'I was doing the vacuum cleaning in the nude, and' case reports.
But one involved the removal of a garden implement from the bum of a bloke who claimed he had fallen out of a tree while birdwatching in the nude,
and landed on said object as he hit the ground.
I can tell you that this caused much hilarity at the offices of Derwent publications that day.

This, only a couple of years after my flatmate had genuinely torn himself a new one,
after slipping when climbing over a spiked fence, when taking a short cut to get the bus into college.

Ouch

 

[Terry Butcher Tribute Act]

Christ what a relief

 

[Ike and Tina Burner]

That's it then - the season's over.

The players are going to be on the beach.

I'm not sure i can be arsed with any more games - see you all in August.

What are you on about you joker?
We're 7th in the table and in a great position to push for the playoffs even if the automatic promotion places are out of sight.

 

[ROSM]

There is a story (possibly apocryphal) of a southern television/ tvs newsreader who apparently presented at a&e with an injury caused by peeling potatoes in a bath, whilst nude, when he fell on one which became lodged inside him

 

[ROSM]

There is a story (possibly apocryphal) of a southern television/ tvs newsreader who apparently presented at a&e with an injury caused by peeling potatoes in a bath, whilst nude, when he fell on one which became lodged inside him

I've just googled this and the top report come from, you've guessed it, NSC from 2006. It also contains reference to the same newsreader having a toothbrush stuck there whilst trying to relieve a troublesome itch!

 

[Bozza]

There is a story (possibly apocryphal) of a southern television/ tvs newsreader who apparently presented at a&e with an injury caused by peeling potatoes in a bath, whilst nude, when he fell on one which became lodged inside him

We’ve all done it.

If I had a Pound for every time…

 

[Bry Nylon]

People scoff but if happens.

One Saturday evening I dancing naked to M People when I slipped and fell awkwardly onto a Batman action figure.

I spent the rest of the night in A&E whilst they searched for the hero inside.

 

[Blackadder]

Both our teams safe in their respective (Top) leagues.

That's what I call "Marvellous Scenes"

 

[bhafc99]

Christ what a relief

Go to A&E. They’ll take it out for you.

 

[huzzah]

We’ve all done it.

If I had a Pound for every time…

... you'd have three pounds, which isn't a lot of money, but it still a weird amount of times to have to go to A&E to get something dislodged.