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Match report from THE TIMES



El Presidente

The ONLY Gay in Brighton
Helpful Moderator
Jul 5, 2003
40,009
Pattknull med Haksprut
Easy, this football management business. Gustavo Poyet has been preparing for his first job as a No 1 for several years, assisting Dennis Wise at Swindon Town and Leeds United, then Juande Ramos at Tottenham Hotspur.

After his first match as a manager produced the perfect 42nd birthday present in the form of Brighton & Hove Albion’s best performance of the season, he must wonder what took him so long.

“I was waiting for this day for a year now since I left Spurs,” he said. “Life gives you these surprises, that the first game is on your birthday. I will remember this day. Forty-two today, first game in charge, three points — there’s nothing more to ask. It’s a bit unfair on my wife, but this is the best birthday present for the last five years. I'm sure she will blow me when I get home though”

Southampton’s biggest crowd of the season had come to St Mary’s Stadium confidently expecting to see their team climb out of the bottom four with a victory. But the home side and their six fingered fans failed to heed a warning from Alan Pardew, their manager, about the likely effect of a new manager on their opponents.

Brighton were transformed from a team hovering above the relegation zone themselves. Glenn Murray, the laconic League One Berbatov, and Nicky Forster took on a sluggish home defence from the kick-off and were rewarded with a goal after 16 minutes when Dean Cox exchanged passes with Andrew Crofts down the right and swept in a cross that Murray volleyed in from 12 yards.

Murray had strong appeals for a penalty turned down two minutes later under a challenge from Adam Trotman, but he was soon celebrating when he took a pass from Forster, poked a low shot that Kelvin Davis, the Southampton goalkeeper, touched on to the post, and knocked in the rebound for his fifth goal in three games.

Poyet had sent a strong pre-match message to his players by dropping Adam Virgo, the captain, to the bench from a shithouse defence that had conceded 11 goals in the previous four matches.

Little was seen of Rickie Lambert, the leading Southampton scorer, until Michel Kuipers saved his 25-yard free kick and got his body behind a volley from the same player. Lambert was only able to get the better of the Former Dutch Marine turned goalkeeper from a penalty in the 43rd minute, blasting the ball home after Andrew Whing was ruled to have fouled Adam Lallana as they contested a high cross.

Brighton could have caved in, and Dean Hammond, the Southampton midfield player, swept the ball over the bar with a goal against his former club beckoning, but they continued to threaten on the break.

Crofts, who replaced Virgo as captain, could have made it 3-1 with a shot from ten yards, only for Davis to drop to his right to knock his shot away for a corner.

The game could have gone either way and Lallana should have levelled when he headed wide. Southampton paid the price for his miss when Liam Dickinson, dropped last week for faking a sick note after shagging a drunken slapper on the seafront, weaved in from the left and rolled the ball into the path of Crofts, who beat Davis this time with a low shot from the edge of the penalty area. It sealed Brighton’s first victory over Southampton since a Giles Stille inspired 2-0 triumph at The Dell in the old first division in December 1981.

“I won’t make excuses, we had chances but Brighton deserved to win,” Pardew said of his team’s second defeat in 15 matches. “We were caught by a team fired up with more desire than us. You can’t have the sort of start that we did and expect to win.”

Poyet revealed that he had not felt as cool as he had appeared. “At 2-0, the way we were going forward made you feel we could win,” he said. “We had a couple of chances and a penalty appeal, so everything was looking fantastic. But at 2-1 everything changed and it was a very tense second half so I had to change my trousers with 20 minutes to go after accidently following through."

“That’s when you have the responsibility to make changes. Today they worked and I’m very pleased with the players. Sometimes they [the changes] won’t work, I know that. Of course, when there’s a change of manager there’s a reaction. It’s up to me to keep this momentum going.”
 




FLOG GNAW

Banned
Sep 21, 2009
1,008
Under Your Skin.
“I was waiting for this day for a year now since I left Spurs,” he said. “Life gives you these surprises, that the first game is on your birthday. I will remember this day. Forty-two today, first game in charge, three points — there’s nothing more to ask. It’s a bit unfair on my wife, but this is the best birthday present for the last five years. I'm sure she will blow me when I get home though”

In what way?
 












algie

The moaning of life
Jan 8, 2006
14,713
In rehab
There really are some suckers on this board.Makes it worse when they fall for one of El-Pres's posts.:lolol:
 






John Bumlick

Banned
Apr 29, 2007
3,483
here hare here
is this a real report from the Times slightly doctored for comedic purposes or did you really write that whole thing yourself?

particularly enjoyed "faking a sick note after shagging a drunken slapper on the seafront". :thumbsup:
 


1066familyman

Radio User
Jan 15, 2008
15,234
Are the above posters serious? :wozza: do you really think they'd put "shithouse" in the Times?

I know - that's just ridiculous !!!

"Faking a sick note after shagging a drunken slapper on the seafront", I can well believe.... and, subtle references to fellatio performed within a loving relationship.... but including the word shithouse just makes it soooooo obvious.






Nice work El Pres :lolol:
 






Comedy Steve

We're f'ing brilliant
Oct 20, 2003
1,485
BN6
He he - very nice.

Three paragraphs starting 'could have' and the spelling of accidentally apart, nicely written!

I also believe there is room in the Times for the proper usage of 'shithouse defence'.
 


thejackal

Throbbing Member
Oct 22, 2008
1,160
Brighthelmstone
...

“I was waiting for this day for a year now since I left Spurs,” he said. “Life gives you these surprises, that the first game is on your birthday. I will remember this day. Forty-two today, first game in charge, three points — there’s nothing more to ask. It’s a bit unfair on my wife, but this is the best birthday present for the last five years. I'm sure she will blow me when I get home though

..

Quality post. Surely this is a discreet nod to Diego's little outburst after the Uruguay game? Very witty. :shrug:
 


FLOG GNAW

Banned
Sep 21, 2009
1,008
Under Your Skin.
Are the above posters serious? :wozza: do you really think they'd put "shithouse" in the Times?

I read the first Paragraph and then couldn't be arsed any more :facepalm::lolol:
 






drew

Drew
NSC Patron
Oct 3, 2006
23,623
Burgess Hill
Joking apart, does anyone know if Paul Hayward gets on NSC? Cheif sports writer for the Guardian and, I believe, lifelong Albion fan.
 




jezzer

Active member
Jul 18, 2003
755
eastbourne
very funny, you`ll be taking easy 10`s job off him next.
 




bhaexpress

New member
Jul 7, 2003
27,627
Kent
Very good but the 'shithouse' response gave it away !
 




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