[Albion] Match Commentary Bingo.

[Ghost of Killer Reeves]

Bissouma kerbooma ,(from our foreign correspondant)

 

[zefarelly]

Apologies for the groaning sound viewers, I didn't get the knot quite right and Alan (smith) is still breathing, he's a stubborn bugger isn't he.

Welcome to the Studio Peter ( Ward) which one of these shit bag Palace scummers would you like to see sent off first? . . . . . .

 

[Sarisbury Seagull]

Nah:-

'The derby that outside these two clubs nobody else understands'.

'but don't tell their fans that!'

 

[Charlies Shinpad]

There are a lot of caravans outside the Amex tonight

Sent from my EML-L09 using Tapatalk

 

[Badger]

"If anything, he's hit that too well"

"Not for me, Peter"

"He's entitled to go down there"

I'm making the assumption it's going to be Peter Drury and Andy Townsend on DAZN.

 

[zefarelly]

That was some shot from Jahanbaksh, he's only been on the pitch 3 minutes and the Palace keeper is picking up his teeth as well as the ball from the back of the net.

The VAR check is complete, 5-0 and still 20 minutes to go.

 

[Pint of Ale and a Burger]

"unlikeliest of rivalries"
"Known as the M23 derby""
"This fixture has seen some ugly clashes between both sets of fans in the past but of course no fans here tonight"
"Not the usual high level of police presence for this fixture"
"We don't really understand it at sky,the clubs are not even in the same town"
"Crystal palace need to start to learn how to win without zaha's diving"
"We must apologise to viewers at home for the colourful use of language you may be able to hear from some of the players and coaching staff"
"The angry reaction from the palace players seems to have been caused by Bissouma doing a dance in front of the palace bench after his goal"
"Some angry scenes here at the final whistle, hodgson and potter sensibly calling the players off the pitch and trying to calm things down"

 

[Sarisbury Seagull]

As already said - White and Leeds, Mac Allister's heritage, Venables/Mullery, A/M road confusion will undoubtedly come out, probably within the first few minutes. But also expect:

'Potter was brought in to change the style of Brighton's play'

'Potter was offered an extended contract after just 6 months!'

'Dan Burn is the tallest full back in football' - cue chuckling from co-commentator;

'Just one home win all season - in fact their last 3 home wins came in 3 different years'

 

[GT49er]

..... only one home win all season ...............

 

[dazzer6666]

Brilliant from Benteke again there to complete his hat trick, what a striker he is, well worth 130k per week. There must be bigger clubs looking at him

 

[monty uk]

The whistle goes ... and the players take a knee.

Murray who had spells at both clubs, no longer plays for either.

 

[zefarelly]

'That looks like Ezequiel Schelotto doing an impressionist dance of Mr Tumble up in the West stand there, I believe he's flewn in especially this evening and is a guest of Bruno Saltor.. . . Good evening sir!

 

[Weststander]

"Gus, tell us about your sacking live on TV"
"It's either Newcastle or Brighton to go down", "But Alan (Smith), Brighton are winning 5:0", "Really, I wasn't watching"
"We'll bring you the football as soon as Boris has stopped talking"

AS, mid-Albion commentary "Anyway, let's talk about my beloved Arsenal. Aubamayeng is a lovely athlete".

 

[Weststander]

"That early booking has altered the complexion of the game, ______ is now playing on a knifeedge".

 

[Igzilla]

Alan Mullery

 

[Tiptoe through the NSC]

...threw his loose change on the floor and said "you're not worth that!"

 

[bhafc99]

"While there will be no fans at the Credit Card Stadium to shout abuse at each other tonight, on-pitch hostilities will resume in the snappily titled “Why Do Brighton And Crystal Palace Hate Each Other So Much And Why Is Their Derby That Is Not Actually A Derby Named After A Road?” derby."

Think The Guardian have just called 'house' on this particular game of bingo.

 

[SweatyMexican]

“Play good football Brighton but struggle to score goals”

 

[disgruntled h blocker]

"Easy on the Eye"
"Andy Johnson hat-trick"

 

[Pavilionaire]

Stand down Andy Johnson, it's one Mateta, two Mateta, three Mateta, four!