Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
I had PLANNED a QUIET weak this weak FILMING my NEW late night C5 talk show 'UP all night with ENREST' but then the ALBION let me down by LOSING at Boro and now we have the PLAY offs to WORRY about.
So instead of FILMING a DUET with Martin FRY signing TIERS are not ENOUGH I was STUCK in SCOTTIES having a No.6 I wanted a No.9 but I HELD the menu up the WRONG way.
I had to be there as my SAUCE had TEXTED me to say all was not WRITE in the Albion CAMP.
I was WOLFING down a particularly GREASY and LIMP Sausage when my SAUCE got off the 49 BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT, I had to CLAM him down and once I had he told me such a SHOCKER I choked on my SAUSAGE.
Apparently Dale STEVENS has been FEELING left out lately as he NEVER gets mentioned or EVEN gets his NAME spelt wrong let ALONE a COMEDY nickname and he had been REACHING out to SHORN Dish at Burnley.
Nobody KNEW this but when he SCORED on Saturday he did a BACKFLIP and when he DID a note FELL out of his SHORTS pocket and KERAM Bayal picked it UP to hand it back but being NOSEY he read it first and it said 'See you soon love SHORN and attached was a TICKET from Brighton to Burnley'
Bayal went MAD and even BURNO was SEETHING at such DISLOYALTY and HELMET being former MOSSAD was ready to ASSASSINATE him there and then on the PITCH. Stevens KNEW he had to get AWAY so the FIRST chance he GOT he LAUNCHED into a RECKLESS challenge and deposited Ramirez on the TURF. To Steven's HORROR the ref got out a YELLOW and you can SEE this on SKY, Stevens SNATCHED the yellow card away and DEMANDED a RED and showed the REF the cut he had CAUSED and of COARSE he then got a RED and if you WATCH it again he SPRINTED off of the PITCH as HELMET launched a POISON Arrow at him and it CERTAINLY wasn't a LOOK of Love that Bayal gave him as he left the PITCH.
Even WORSE that when it came to the APPEAL Stevens' note to FA was found 'Dear FA, it was a CERTAIN red card and it was REALLY worth at LEAST a TEN game ban, LOVE Dale Stevens.'
Hughton went MAD when he found out all this YESTERDAY and he ERUPTED in FURY and the whole SQUAD have never seen him this MAD .
With that my SAUCE ran out ACROSS Portland Road very NEARLY being HIT by a TESCO delivery van as he ESCAPED before he could be SILENCED. I finished my BREAKFAST and wandered back ALONG Portland Road in such a DAZE it wasn't till I got to PORTSALDE Station that I realised I was going in the WRONG direction.
UP THE ARS
SACK THE BOARD
HUGHTON OUT (if we LOOSE)
So instead of FILMING a DUET with Martin FRY signing TIERS are not ENOUGH I was STUCK in SCOTTIES having a No.6 I wanted a No.9 but I HELD the menu up the WRONG way.
I had to be there as my SAUCE had TEXTED me to say all was not WRITE in the Albion CAMP.
I was WOLFING down a particularly GREASY and LIMP Sausage when my SAUCE got off the 49 BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT, I had to CLAM him down and once I had he told me such a SHOCKER I choked on my SAUSAGE.
Apparently Dale STEVENS has been FEELING left out lately as he NEVER gets mentioned or EVEN gets his NAME spelt wrong let ALONE a COMEDY nickname and he had been REACHING out to SHORN Dish at Burnley.
Nobody KNEW this but when he SCORED on Saturday he did a BACKFLIP and when he DID a note FELL out of his SHORTS pocket and KERAM Bayal picked it UP to hand it back but being NOSEY he read it first and it said 'See you soon love SHORN and attached was a TICKET from Brighton to Burnley'
Bayal went MAD and even BURNO was SEETHING at such DISLOYALTY and HELMET being former MOSSAD was ready to ASSASSINATE him there and then on the PITCH. Stevens KNEW he had to get AWAY so the FIRST chance he GOT he LAUNCHED into a RECKLESS challenge and deposited Ramirez on the TURF. To Steven's HORROR the ref got out a YELLOW and you can SEE this on SKY, Stevens SNATCHED the yellow card away and DEMANDED a RED and showed the REF the cut he had CAUSED and of COARSE he then got a RED and if you WATCH it again he SPRINTED off of the PITCH as HELMET launched a POISON Arrow at him and it CERTAINLY wasn't a LOOK of Love that Bayal gave him as he left the PITCH.
Even WORSE that when it came to the APPEAL Stevens' note to FA was found 'Dear FA, it was a CERTAIN red card and it was REALLY worth at LEAST a TEN game ban, LOVE Dale Stevens.'
Hughton went MAD when he found out all this YESTERDAY and he ERUPTED in FURY and the whole SQUAD have never seen him this MAD .
With that my SAUCE ran out ACROSS Portland Road very NEARLY being HIT by a TESCO delivery van as he ESCAPED before he could be SILENCED. I finished my BREAKFAST and wandered back ALONG Portland Road in such a DAZE it wasn't till I got to PORTSALDE Station that I realised I was going in the WRONG direction.
UP THE ARS
SACK THE BOARD
HUGHTON OUT (if we LOOSE)
