Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
It's been a DIIFFICULT week for me as MY romance with Kellie made the NATIONAL press, even the CNN LEAD story and UNFORTUNATELY I've taken my EYE off the BALL and allowed BARBER to carry on WRECKING the club. But it is all over NOW, me and KELLIE finished for GOOD yesterday and there is NO going back. I was doing my BEST to finger her in the CORNER of the Cliftonville yesterday morning when she told me she had NEWS that would shock me and a SECRET to tell me, I nearly CHOKED on my SAUSAGE when she REVEALED her SECRET and it made me RECOIL in HORROR and wash my FINGERS immediately, KELLIE is a PALACE fan and to think I let her have a NIBBLE on my SAUSAGE. Absolutely DISGUSTING and I feel UNCLEAN. Oh well it's BACK to E-Harmony and ANNOYING women on there.
So I SKIPPED GAILY up George Street this MORNING knowing my SAUCE had some MASSIVE news to TELL me and it was going to be HUGE, I ordered my LARGE Traditional FULL English (with TWO extra SILCES of Black PUDDING) and waited for my MAN in the know to turn UP. As I waited I GAZED over to the EMPTY Sports Dreams shop which INCIDENTALLY was CLOSED by the COUNCIL due to it being a FIRE hazard caused by the THOUSANDS of unsold COPIES of Dick Tight's BOOK in the back CUPBOARD and I guess VOLUME 2 where he FINALLY confesses to what he DID with the 1983 FA Cup Final CASH as well as his SHARE of the TRANSFER fee for the SAIL of Steven WARD to Burnley.
I was LICKING my PLATE clean when my SAUCE turned up not only BREATHLESS with excitement but a BAG of NERVES as what he had to tell me would SHOCK all Albion FANS to their BOOTS. He said Andrew CRUFTS had a MASSIVE bust up with Hyypia in the WEEK and told the FINN he looked like Frank Maloney in a FROCK and INDIGO Cadleron had to PULL both of them off and CALM them down and it ENDED in TIERS with CRUFTS in the DOGHOUSE and DROPPED for the Birmingham game and DEFINITELY not playing. I hadn't REALISED things were that BAD but I guess if CRUFTS doesn't PLAY tomorrow then I will know my SAUCE is right.
Then my SAUCE said he had NEWS of another DEPARTURE from the club, he said Shamir GOODWIN has GONE as he was not up to IT and that is another PLAYER left but he did say they have SINGED Shamir FENELON in his place and I thought how WEIRD having TWO players with the same STRANGE name. He also TOLD me if SALTER doesn't PLAY soon he is ITCHING for a MOVE as well, all is not WELL at the AMEX.
With that SHOCKING peace of NEWS my SAUCE left the CLIFTONVILLE and disappeared into the THRONGING masses of George Street WHILST I left to go to PADDY Power and PICK up my both sides to SCORE coupon.
So I SKIPPED GAILY up George Street this MORNING knowing my SAUCE had some MASSIVE news to TELL me and it was going to be HUGE, I ordered my LARGE Traditional FULL English (with TWO extra SILCES of Black PUDDING) and waited for my MAN in the know to turn UP. As I waited I GAZED over to the EMPTY Sports Dreams shop which INCIDENTALLY was CLOSED by the COUNCIL due to it being a FIRE hazard caused by the THOUSANDS of unsold COPIES of Dick Tight's BOOK in the back CUPBOARD and I guess VOLUME 2 where he FINALLY confesses to what he DID with the 1983 FA Cup Final CASH as well as his SHARE of the TRANSFER fee for the SAIL of Steven WARD to Burnley.
I was LICKING my PLATE clean when my SAUCE turned up not only BREATHLESS with excitement but a BAG of NERVES as what he had to tell me would SHOCK all Albion FANS to their BOOTS. He said Andrew CRUFTS had a MASSIVE bust up with Hyypia in the WEEK and told the FINN he looked like Frank Maloney in a FROCK and INDIGO Cadleron had to PULL both of them off and CALM them down and it ENDED in TIERS with CRUFTS in the DOGHOUSE and DROPPED for the Birmingham game and DEFINITELY not playing. I hadn't REALISED things were that BAD but I guess if CRUFTS doesn't PLAY tomorrow then I will know my SAUCE is right.
Then my SAUCE said he had NEWS of another DEPARTURE from the club, he said Shamir GOODWIN has GONE as he was not up to IT and that is another PLAYER left but he did say they have SINGED Shamir FENELON in his place and I thought how WEIRD having TWO players with the same STRANGE name. He also TOLD me if SALTER doesn't PLAY soon he is ITCHING for a MOVE as well, all is not WELL at the AMEX.
With that SHOCKING peace of NEWS my SAUCE left the CLIFTONVILLE and disappeared into the THRONGING masses of George Street WHILST I left to go to PADDY Power and PICK up my both sides to SCORE coupon.
