Ernest
Stupid IDIOT
I was LOITERING outside the Cliftonville at 07.56 this MORNING waiting for the DOORS to open when I SORE a feeble LOOKING youth outside Dick Tights shop UNLOADING a white VAN. He was CARRYING loads of BOXES and I thought this COULD be the missing 1983 FA Cup final CASH. So I asked him if I could HELP and I nearly put my BACK out as they so HEAVY. I said what was in them and the YOUTH said he had BEAN all round the BOOKSHOPS in Sussex collecting UNSOLD copies of Dick Tight's BOOK. I said there are THOUSANDS here and he SAID yes they only sold SEVEN copies of it BUT Dick Tight had said they had SOLD thousands and then HE could WASH the rest of the 1983 FA Cup final CASH with the proceeds.
With that shocker I SKIPPED into the BIG C and ordered my LARGE Full ENGLISH and had TWO extra SAUSAGES as I felt so HAPPY. I was DEMOLISHING my Full ENGLISH in record time when my SAUCE turned up BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT. He told me he had MASSIVE transfer news and that Leroy LITA had SINGED for Swansea, I fell off my CHAIR with SHOCK as I didn't SEE that one COMING. As USUAL I am first with the NEWS.
He then SAID that Ashley BARNES had a MASSIVE bust up with OCSAR this week, Barnes had been TURNING up for training WEARING a flat cap bringing his WHIPPET called GUS with him and the FINAL straw was when ASHLEY wouldn't eat his TAPPERS but insisted on a MEET pie and a CHIP buttie. APPARANTLY he has BEAN dropped from the SQUAD tomorrow as a RESULT. I bet ANDY Naylor wishes he HAD his FINGER on the pulse like ME.
With those BOMBSHELLS my SAUCE swiftly departed into the THRONGING masses of George STREET whilst I had a QUEER turn with the shock of it all.
With that shocker I SKIPPED into the BIG C and ordered my LARGE Full ENGLISH and had TWO extra SAUSAGES as I felt so HAPPY. I was DEMOLISHING my Full ENGLISH in record time when my SAUCE turned up BREATHLESS with EXCITEMENT. He told me he had MASSIVE transfer news and that Leroy LITA had SINGED for Swansea, I fell off my CHAIR with SHOCK as I didn't SEE that one COMING. As USUAL I am first with the NEWS.
He then SAID that Ashley BARNES had a MASSIVE bust up with OCSAR this week, Barnes had been TURNING up for training WEARING a flat cap bringing his WHIPPET called GUS with him and the FINAL straw was when ASHLEY wouldn't eat his TAPPERS but insisted on a MEET pie and a CHIP buttie. APPARANTLY he has BEAN dropped from the SQUAD tomorrow as a RESULT. I bet ANDY Naylor wishes he HAD his FINGER on the pulse like ME.
With those BOMBSHELLS my SAUCE swiftly departed into the THRONGING masses of George STREET whilst I had a QUEER turn with the shock of it all.
