[Albion] Marc Cucurella *Signed For Chelsea 05/08/2022*

[GT49er]

https://twitter.com/sistoney67/status/1554753230877429760?s=21&t=oTLSqeCoZnIltr-Nq-UaoQ

Not sure if any truth in this.

Don't know about the truth - but some of the replies are hilarious! What some people believe as fact is beyind belief!

 

[Tom Bombadil]

I love this idea of transfer negotiations that seems to have been fuelled by Twitter.
Dozens of representatives from both clubs sat in a dark room, opposite each other. Some looking petrified, some like they’re about to kill somebody. The general sense that at any moment some one could stick a pencil into someone else's neck. Nobody leaving. For days. Staring. Sort of like Breaking Bad meets Sexy Beast. Real unhinged dudes.

Do we have Don Logan or Walter White?

 

[GT49er]

I think West Brom are dreaming if they think they are in with a chance of signing Cucu

So were Manchester City ..........................

 

[SeagullinExile]

I reckon we’re already in agreement with Chelsea on this. Just waiting to get a replacement over the line.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

Txiki (lights cigar) – sooo, you know Pep wants your Cucurella right? He’s going to finally, really be the missing piece of the Champions League jigsaw. (Hums the Champions League theme tune)

(off camera giggles)

Paul Barber – Tony, stop laughing, I’m sure Mr Mujika is perfectly serious and…..

(more giggles)

PB – oh FFS David, not you as well…….

Txiki – of course I’m serious. You think we’re ever going to win that tournament with a choice of Kevin’s twin or Joao ****ing Cancelo at left back? But with your beautiful big haired Spaniard….

PB – how much?

Txiki – well, erm, we’ve done a lot of research and we think three million pounds is perfectly fair. And, er, of course, this time when you and Tony come to the Emptyhad we’ll actually give you the good meals. The baked bean salad was a bit of a mix up.

(derisory hoots of laughter off camera)

PB – TONY. Have some decorum. Right. Three hundred million. Well, he’s certainly loved three times as much as Grealish at Brighton……

Txiki – Not THREE HUNDRED. Three. Three million. And we’ll bung in a football. You peasants must be running out of them by now.

(Sound of David Weir wetting himself laughing)

Tony Bloom – Er, no. Really, thanks, but no.

Txiki – I thought you may say that. Well, we’ve already got Romano The Tweet unsettling your precious hair bear, Cheshire’s finest estate agent finding somewhere nice away from the Grealish house for Mrs Cucurella and, if I have to, I’ll get them involved (points vaguely to a map of the Middle East).

Tony Bloom – Yeah. Ok. Whatevs. (rolls eyes).

Txiki – one minute. (disappears out of room).

PB – Is he going to get serious at any point? I’ve got some emails to answer.

Txiki (returning to room) – GREAT NEWS! I have authorisation to go TEN TIMES HIGHER. Yes, 25 million pounds. But no football and you still get the baked bean salad. And it’s too late to call off Romano The Tweet. We already paid him. Er, I mean, he already tweeted. Yes that. Definitely no money. None at all.

(David Weir is so overcome with laughter that he has to leave the room)

Tony Bloom – ok. I’ll level with you. We are looking at a very specific amount here. A “more than Ben White amount” if you catch my drift.

Txiki (Audible whisper to goon) – do you know anyone good at faking FFP returns? Not the Dullard. He’s one of them and he’s left Cheshire anyway. No? Oh. Shit.

PB – Tony, do you think I should use the standard bottle top template answer for Paul from Haywards Heath or craft my own? My own? Ok.

Txiki – YOU IDIOTS ARE CLEARLY NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY. WE WALK AWAY FROM YOUR SHITTY DEAL! WE’RE DONE HERE. GOONS! GIVE THE LITTLE ONE A WEDGIE ON THE WAY OUT!

I like the idea of our 25 man squad for the season being announced in the same way the England squads are with no knowledge of who has gone and who we have signed in the interim.

Imagine the reaction on here and Twitter when we find out that Bissouma and Cucurella have gone and the only in signing is some random lad from Paraguay.

 

[chaileyjem]

What are you rambling on about Since the Man City rumours emerged most posts on this thread are nothing but speculation.

Glad we got there in the end.

 

[severnside gull]

Colwill is interesting. Talented and will increase in value (but sell-ons or buy-backs would impact on that).
Not an automatic starter.
Cover from the bench or injury for Webster in a back 3.
Left back in a 4?
Clarke would surely go. Van Hecke?

 

[Justice]

Glad we got there in the end.

Ok Mr Albion

 

[Weststander]

The Times now reporting that Chelsea have bid is in excess of £50m.

With the Albion keen on Colwill only on a loan basis.

Great work by TB ... circa £52.5m? in cash coming to the club.

 

[Greg Bobkin]

I reckon he might stay put...

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Txiki (lights cigar) – sooo, you know Pep wants your Cucurella right? He’s going to finally, really be the missing piece of the Champions League jigsaw. (Hums the Champions League theme tune)

(off camera giggles)

Paul Barber – Tony, stop laughing, I’m sure Mr Mujika is perfectly serious and…..

(more giggles)

PB – oh FFS David, not you as well…….

Txiki – of course I’m serious. You think we’re ever going to win that tournament with a choice of Kevin’s twin or Joao ****ing Cancelo at left back? But with your beautiful big haired Spaniard….

PB – how much?

Txiki – well, erm, we’ve done a lot of research and we think three million pounds is perfectly fair. And, er, of course, this time when you and Tony come to the Emptyhad we’ll actually give you the good meals. The baked bean salad was a bit of a mix up.

(derisory hoots of laughter off camera)

PB – TONY. Have some decorum. Right. Three hundred million. Well, he’s certainly loved three times as much as Grealish at Brighton……

Txiki – Not THREE HUNDRED. Three. Three million. And we’ll bung in a football. You peasants must be running out of them by now.

(Sound of David Weir wetting himself laughing)

Tony Bloom – Er, no. Really, thanks, but no.

Txiki – I thought you may say that. Well, we’ve already got Romano The Tweet unsettling your precious hair bear, Cheshire’s finest estate agent finding somewhere nice away from the Grealish house for Mrs Cucurella and, if I have to, I’ll get them involved (points vaguely to a map of the Middle East).

Tony Bloom – Yeah. Ok. Whatevs. (rolls eyes).

Txiki – one minute. (disappears out of room).

PB – Is he going to get serious at any point? I’ve got some emails to answer.

Txiki (returning to room) – GREAT NEWS! I have authorisation to go TEN TIMES HIGHER. Yes, 25 million pounds. But no football and you still get the baked bean salad. And it’s too late to call off Romano The Tweet. We already paid him. Er, I mean, he already tweeted. Yes that. Definitely no money. None at all.

(David Weir is so overcome with laughter that he has to leave the room)

Tony Bloom – ok. I’ll level with you. We are looking at a very specific amount here. A “more than Ben White amount” if you catch my drift.

Txiki (Audible whisper to goon) – do you know anyone good at faking FFP returns? Not the Dullard. He’s one of them and he’s left Cheshire anyway. No? Oh. Shit.

PB – Tony, do you think I should use the standard bottle top template answer for Paul from Haywards Heath or craft my own? My own? Ok.

Txiki – YOU IDIOTS ARE CLEARLY NOT TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY. WE WALK AWAY FROM YOUR SHITTY DEAL! WE’RE DONE HERE. GOONS! GIVE THE LITTLE ONE A WEDGIE ON THE WAY OUT!

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Would love to think that this might lead to a couple of new signings, Colwill of course, and a new specialist left back as a direct replacement for Cucu.

Yes ok l know that Solly can fill in there, Mitoma possibly, even Trossard (though we need him further forward really), but none of them are anywhere near Cucarella's standard.

I don't think the development squad is the answer for this one at the moment.

 

[Hugo Rune]

The Times now reporting that Chelsea have bid is in excess of £50m.

With the Albion keen on Colwill only on a loan basis.

A loan would be a real shame. The same sort of short-termism that Palace and Southampton get involved with. Both gave plenty of minutes to Gallagher and Broja respectively, Palace did an amazing job for Chelsea in terms of getting their player up to standard for their first team. I’d be disappointed if we did the same for Colwill but I suppose we might have to.

 

[albionalbino]

I don't think the development squad is the answer for this one at the moment.

James Furlong? Too soon

 

[SeagullinExile]

A loan would be a real shame. The same sort of short-termism that Palace and Southampton get involved with. Both gave plenty of minutes to Gallagher and Broja respectively, Palace did an amazing job for Chelsea in terms of getting their player up to standard for their first team. I’d be disappointed if we did the same for Colwill but I suppose we might have to.

How do you know it wouldn’t be a loan with an option?

 

[The Wizard]

A loan would be a real shame. The same sort of short-termism that Palace and Southampton get involved with. Both gave plenty of minutes to Gallagher and Broja respectively, Palace did an amazing job for Chelsea in terms of getting their player up to standard for their first team. I’d be disappointed if we did the same for Colwill but I suppose we might have to.

I’d prefer not to have him at all, just pure cash would do.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Martinez seems to favour Trossard as LWB in the Belgium squad. Potter has also used him there and he can be dangerous for us coming in off that side. However, we would need a strong left footed defender behind him (Colwill).
Cucurella’s worth is due to his versatility but I think we have in-house options to cover LWB, just not so much as the left sided defender/ left back if we revert to a back four. Clarke is an option but doesn’t look quick enough to play in the Premier League from what I’ve seen of him.

Agree with everything you say. On Sunday I imagine we'll go in with a back-3 of Veltman, Dunk, Webster so we're fine... things become a problem if one of those get injured, or more importantly, if we want to switch to a 4 at the back

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

A loan would be a real shame. The same sort of short-termism that Palace and Southampton get involved with. Both gave plenty of minutes to Gallagher and Broja respectively, Palace did an amazing job for Chelsea in terms of getting their player up to standard for their first team. I’d be disappointed if we did the same for Colwill but I suppose we might have to.

Agreed. I would like to see us sign Colwill on a permanent basis, not simply to do Chelsea a favour by improving their player, giving him plenty of Premier League minutes, and then see him return to his parent club much better for the experience.

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

James Furlong? Too soon

Far too soon, if at all.

 

[Bod]

Not to sure about that seems a lot for a lad who’s played half a season of Championship football.

I would also be concerned about LC’s injury record. He had a few issues last year and has already missed a couple of pre season games apparently.