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[Humour] Manure humour 😄



seagullwedgee

Well-known member
Aug 9, 2005
3,067
Look how much the Glazers have taken out, and how much debt they have laden on the club. This club will take 15 years to come out of this. It is already a complete near term basket case, which is why Jim Ratcliffe did not go in any bigger/stronger, he’ll derive massive personal gain, none of it over the next 5 years, starting to flow in the 5 years after that, and then in huge volumes in the 5 years after that. Stabilise. Strategise. Monetise.
 




Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,572
Playing snooker
The problem is I would imagine some bright spark up there is this very moment thinking that a perfect fit for them would be RDZ.
Very possibly, but not Dave Brialsford. I can't imagine RDZs philosophy and demeanor would fit with Brailsford's cold, calculated 'Marginal Gains' approach to sporting success.
 




PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,595
Hurst Green
The problem is I would imagine some bright spark up there is this very moment thinking that a perfect fit for them would be RDZ.

I thought the team were insulting last night because for the first 10 minutes they looked really up for it (showing that they have been pissing about in the league) and after a bit they all went "nah, your OK mate. I'll collect me money and later find some birds to get me 'ands on" and started jogging around like they were winding down a raining session.

The new manager would be wise to get rid of half the squad and bring in some Roy Keane types, and perhaps bring forward some of the youth (assuming that aren't already ruined by money, entitlement, Baby Bentlys and horrible fake-tanned women with tit and lip implants).

I note the 'get a grip' post above that lists what United have won since the Glazers took over. I have edited it to remove all the runner up 'trophies' and silly baubles like the charity shield (which even Brighton have won).

1986 Alex Ferguson becomes manager

FA CupWinner1989-90UE
European Cup Winners' CupWinner1990-91
Football League CupWinner1991-92
Premier LeagueChampion1992-93
Premier LeagueChampion1993-94
FA CupWinner1993-94
Premier LeagueChampion1995-96
FA CupWinner1995-96
Premier LeagueChampion1996-97
Premier LeagueChampion1998-99
FA CupWinner1998-99
UEFA Champions LeagueWinner1998-99
Premier LeagueChampion1999-20004
Premier LeagueChampion2000-01
Premier LeagueChampion2002-03
FA CupWinner2003-04

GLAZERS BUY UTD

Football League CupWinner2005-06
Premier LeagueChampion2006-07
Premier LeagueChampion2007-08
UEFA Champions LeagueWinner2007-08
Premier LeagueChampion2008-09
Football League CupWinner2008-09
Football League CupWinner2009-10
Premier LeagueChampion2010-11
Premier LeagueChampion2012-13

Alex Ferguson Retires

FA CupWinner2015-16
Football League CupWinner2016-17
UEFA Europa LeagueWinner2016-17
Football League CupWinner2022-23

If you consider the FA cup as a top tier trophy (even Brighton are 'in' the Europa League), then United have won nothing much since 2016. Given all the league titles and European cups of the Fergy era, this is a massive downturn, barely better than Leicester, and Leicester have won the EPL, which United haven't. "We've seen it all, we've won the lot" since Fergy left, we're f***ing shot.
Still very hard to feel sorry for any Utd fan, bless them.
 


Harry Wilson's tackle

Harry Wilson's Tackle
NSC Patron
Oct 8, 2003
56,097
Faversham
Still very hard to feel sorry for any Utd fan, bless them.
I didn't wish to imply I'm sorry for them. I'm simply saying that they are no longer the force they once were, so I can understand that their supporters may be unhappy.

But let me make myself very clear about this:

f*** them.
f*** them all.
f*** the lot.
 




Binney on acid

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Nov 30, 2003
2,668
Shoreham
I recollect that when the Glazers took it over, there was absolutely no debt. I have a feeling that is not still the case..........
 


Simster

"the man's an arse"
Jul 7, 2003
54,952
Surrey
All of the time the Glazers continue to bleed the club dry, they'll never win anything. Everything about the club is toxic. I actually feel sorry for the fans. We should know better than most that no one deserves to watch their club suffer ad infinitum, without any hope of redemption. Even the dream team of myself and HWT couldn't achieve results there.
I used to feel sorry for their fans until they fluked their way to beating us at Wembley and sang that shit "you've seen United, now f*** off home".

Now I just laugh my ever growing man-tits off at them and am delighted that if any club has to be owned by a leech like Glazer, then I'm glad it's them.
 


Badger

NOT the Honey Badger
NSC Patron
May 8, 2007
13,102
Toronto
I used to feel sorry for their fans until they fluked their way to beating us at Wembley and sang that shit "you've seen United, now f*** off home".

Now I just laugh my ever growing man-tits off at them and am delighted that if any club has to be owned by a leech like Glazer, then I'm glad it's them.
This. Having grown up surrounded by plastic Man Utd fans at school/university (some of whom haven't grown up and picked a local club) it's very pleasing to see them imploding. I'm not sure I could ever feel sorry for their fans.
 






hans kraay fan club

The voice of reason.
Helpful Moderator
Mar 16, 2005
62,759
Chandlers Ford
Very possibly, but not Dave Brialsford. I can't imagine RDZs philosophy and demeanor would fit with Brailsford's cold, calculated 'Marginal Gains' approach to sporting success.
Potter it is then.

(Or actually, if they could afford and persuade him, Unai Emery)
 






PILTDOWN MAN

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Sep 15, 2004
19,595
Hurst Green
I recollect that when the Glazers took it over, there was absolutely no debt. I have a feeling that is not still the case..........
Never mind eh?
 


Seagull58

In the Algarve
Jan 31, 2012
8,503
Vilamoura, Portugal
Very possibly, but not Dave Brialsford. I can't imagine RDZs philosophy and demeanor would fit with Brailsford's cold, calculated 'Marginal Gains' approach to sporting success.
We hear that RDZ is very intense, a coach that drills his team in fine detail, knows exactly what he expects in every phase of play and has a very tight, well-tuned coaching team around him. These are the sort of attributes that Brailsford would be very keen on, imo.
 


Bry Nylon

Test your smoke alarm
Helpful Moderator
Jul 21, 2003
20,572
Playing snooker
We hear that RDZ is very intense, a coach that drills his team in fine detail, knows exactly what he expects in every phase of play and has a very tight, well-tuned coaching team around him. These are the sort of attributes that Brailsford would be very keen on, imo.
Yes, very possibly. I can see that.

The other side of the equation though are the multiple yellow / red cards that RDZ has accumulated (although he seems to have got that a bit more under control of late) which would immediately go in Brailsford’s ‘debit’ column; plus RDZs style of football that succeeds through calculated risk taking. Having studied a lot of what Brailsford espouses, it seems to be centred on systematically eliminating risk / margin for error.
 




Dick Swiveller

Well-known member
Sep 9, 2011
9,524
This thread is in danger of falling foul of trade description act so I have asked ChatGPT to save it.


Why did the manure go to therapy?

It had a lot of deep-rooted issues and couldn't stop feeling like it was being dumped on all the time!
 


rippleman

Well-known member
Oct 18, 2011
4,988
I like to look at which Man Utd players would make it into our starting 11.

1) Whoever their starting left-back is as cover until Pervis and Tariq are fit again (unless it's Dalot in which case we won't bother thank you)

2) Rashford (as cover for Mitoma and Andringa) until Solly and Encisco are fit again

I might take a punt on Casemiro because I think he is probably a much better player than Man Utd are making him look

:shrug:
 


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