Manic Depression

[bhaexpress]

My problems to are to do with family problems, disagreements and such for not being allowed to do our own thing even if they are the right. I struggled much BEFORE I went to university, but having said that because of certain family problems and kept from a lot of things, I was almost too sheltered I all of a sudden became to big for my own shoes. I then fell down and went in to gambling, first to avoid loneliness and then to recoup debts and get friendships. I'm now back with my parents, you could say back to square one, completely feel like I am trapped, imprisoned and punished. Although I feel like I am much tougher mentally, but I do believe humanity does have weakness and how long before I crack. I am 20 now, I will be 21 within 4 and a half months, if nothing comes my way soon what's to say I will not lose it.

I really dunno what to say about her though, other than try and include her in social activities as much as possible and make sure she is loved by many people. I am not talking about you personally, but everyone she knows, has to play apart, trying to rebuild friendship bridges she is losing.

You should have a word with your doctor. You have low self esteem but that goes with depression. Be thankful that at least you recognise the situation as it's all too easy to turn to some sort of substance abuse to mask your condition. Being on anti depressants is nothing to be ashamed of, I am for a start. I should say that I am wary of taking any medication thanks to getting a valium (diazipam) addiction from prescribed dosages. Neither my doctor or I realised that this drug was in fact very dangerous although it's known now. However, I saw my doctor recently about weaning of my current prescription only to be told that I should stay on them for two years. Okay, I am not going to argue.

Seek expert help though, the best way to go.

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

I've been close to a case of depression and would pick out a couple of the things above:

- you want to help which is fantastic, but it's not your life's work. Unless you can commit to this pretty much as a job then you need to get her help from the experts - it can be managed.

- get the experts involved and put your energies into making sure they give you all the help they can. They are all busy and over-worked, you can help by fighting her corner.

- be very careful as Freddie Goodwin says that you don't become an emotion sponge. It's easy to think you are helping by mopping-up. You are more help being an advocate I promise.

- never accept one opinion. Doctors can fob you off - through ignorance or lack of time (but rarely negligence), so keep asking people and get more opinions.

- look for local/online support groups. As an NSC user you will not be surprised about the amount of information, access and support you can get online.

- I'm sorry to say this, but be prepared for the long haul.

Good luck, be strong and most importantly, don't lose yourself. You're a good friend.

 

[algie]

Dear NSC,

If anyone out there has had to suffer from this illness, or had to help someone with it, Im looking for some advice.

My ex-girlfriend became ill over the summer and has been diagnosed with manic depression and a serious eating disorder, regularly going 4/5 days at a time without eating. She was in hospital for two weeks and her weight dropped to 40 kilos. She told me recently how she has at times wanted to die, and just on Friday she asked how I would feel if she did die. She has been on 8 pills a day for months and is trapped in her own mind and her terribly negative thoughts about herself and here future. The only way she gets through now is drink and drugs, how can you deny someone, hugely strong willed, the only things getting her through even if they are so dangerous and unhelpful?

We were best friends before, and although things have never been the same since we broke up, I still care about her a lot, and Im one of the few people she confides in. This is a beautiful 20 year old girl, hugely popular, studying at Cambridge University. She has a wonderful life and great friends, despite underlying family problems.

If anyone has suffered from this how did you cope, and what did your friends and family do to help you?

If you have been in a similar situation, what did you find helped the person who was ill and what advice would you give to someone caring for someone with depression?

Many thanks in advance guys.

First and foremost mate untill she actually amits she has a drink and drugs problem herself as well then it's going to be very hard.This needs to be tackled first as it doesn't help but only contributes to the downhill spiral.
Someone who has a drink problem won't actually amit it most of the time.
By giving in to her and allowing her to drink/take drugs you are actually prolonging the problem and making it hell for both of you.
Obviously give her as much support as possible but at the end of the day you will have to be strong and deny her the booze etc.If you don't it will wreck you as well(i know).
As mentioned on here support groups online are terrific.Can't help about eating problems as i never really experienced it or know to much about it.

How long have you actually known her?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Don't confuse depression with low self esteem

And don't confuse manic depression (bi-polar disorder) with regular depression.

Bipolar Disorder (manic depression)


Professional help is essential.

 

[Durlston]

Bhaexpress,

I too have developed dependence on diazepam.The change in me when i first started taking them was incredible so my doctor was happy to keep me on them-for far too long.I'm still trying to wean myself off them(smaller dose now though) although on days when i don't take them,i don't feel too bad but they're more for 'dutch courage' and stress.

Anti-depressants aren't really very pleasant.They do stabilise moods but the side effects are horrible like stomach cramps,feeling like a zombie with no emotions and impossible to drink without being sick the next morning.When i was coming off them i had a feeling of electric shocks in my head and arms-not painful but i would never want to go back on them again.

 

[Ratso2005]

Drink makes it complicated. Prozac is shite

Ok, the first part is definitely true, the second part might not be so clear cut.

I am diagnosed with the bipolar condition of Cyclothymia, and after years of Citalopram and Venlafaxine not helping at all - in fact making things worse with side effects (constant need to sleep/emotional numbness on Citalopram/Cipramil and weight gain on Venlafaxine/Effexor) I have been on Fluoxetine/Prozac for 6 months and have had signifcant improvement with zero side effects. I know many, many other people who have had one or other of these three drugs work far better for them than the others, it seems to depend on your fundamental chemical makeup combined with where the problem is.

Of course, antidepressants can be a help but they are not the absolute answer for most, rather they will need to find what aspects of their life and/or thought processes are causing anxiety/stress/misery and address them as fully as possible. This is easily the most difficult part in practical terms.

For most it is a combination of life events and predisposition towards illness (certainly true in my case). Best a sufferer can do is attempt to one-by-one minimise the negative influences in their life, essentially remove or at least disempower the things that make them ill. CBT can certainly help in this regard.

I know that I need to change my job to have a chance of getting well, but in the meantime I gave up alcohol some 17 months ago despite being quite the social boozehound; I had to accept that the short term 'relief' of getting pissed most nights was unhelpful to the greater cause and so knocked it on the head.

My depression and related mental health issues are easily the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my 37 year life, ahead of financial woes, disease or bereavement, but I cling to the belief that I can get well again, or at least well enough to make life properly worth living. A supportive partner is invaluable in this - I am profoundly fortunate in this regard - and if you are willing to take it on you should feel justifiably proud to do so for your girlfriend.

 

[bhaexpress]

Bhaexpress,

I too have developed dependence on diazepam.The change in me when i first started taking them was incredible so my doctor was happy to keep me on them-for far too long.I'm still trying to wean myself off them(smaller dose now though) although on days when i don't take them,i don't feel too bad but they're more for 'dutch courage' and stress.

Anti-depressants aren't really very pleasant.They do stabilise moods but the side effects are horrible like stomach cramps,feeling like a zombie with no emotions and impossible to drink without being sick the next morning.When i was coming off them i had a feeling of electric shocks in my head and arms-not painful but i would never want to go back on them again.

To be honest the ones I'm on don't cause me any problems. However, with diazipam my them doctor reduced my daily does from 20MG a day to 10MG, just like that. With the benefit of hindsight it was a stupid thing to do but seeing as this was over 20 years ago not many doctors knew how dangerous that drug is and the users certainly didn't ! You should be coming off it by taking 2MGs less a day for a month and so on. Not that easy I agree.

 

[Spanish Seagulls]

This is NSC at it's best. All of the above seem to have covered it from outsiders points of view & those who have experienced someone close suffering from this often misunderstood problem.
Breaking the cycle of behaviour is important so the taking a break scenario really helps especially where drugs are concerned. You are a good friend Clarkey & with people like you around she has a good chance of seeing things through.

If you can afford to suggest getting away for a week or so & whilst away she will be more able to look at herself more objectively.

 

[herecomesaregular]

Don't confuse depression with low self esteem which by the sounds of it you suffer from.

what a patronising twat you are

 

[Storer68]

As an Albion fan I am often delusional and many times suffer from low self esteem and depression.

But seriously, you may have to prepare for a horribly long, lonley and painful road. And there's no gurantee of a happy ending at the end. But every time it gets rough (and it will) remind yourself why she matters and why YOU care. There is light at the end of the tunnel. People do come out of this on the other side.

 

[rool]

I am diagnosed with the bipolar condition of Cyclothymia, and after years of Citalopram and Venlafaxine not helping at all - in fact making things worse with side effects (constant need to sleep/emotional numbness on Citalopram/Cipramil and weight gain on Venlafaxine/Effexor) I have been on Fluoxetine/Prozac for 6 months and have had signifcant improvement with zero side effects.

I was on Lexapro for four months and tried to come off but had horrendous brain freezes, sickness etc. I Was then put on 150mg Effexor xl in April, which work during the day but I wasn't sleeping properly so now I take the Effexor in the morning and 25mg Amiltryptine at night.

The best thing is that you are supposed to avoid alcohol but on the odd time when I fancy a drink you seem to drink as much as you want without getting pissed.

I'd be interested to know how anyone has managed to wean off these as I hope to do this in the new year.

 

[bhaexpress]

what a patronising twat you are

No he's not, if you have read many of Adrie's posts you know that Algie is spot on.

 

[Brovion]

No he's not, if you have read many of Adrie's posts you know that Algie is spot on.

Yes, I was going to say that. I think it is important to separate not just the different kinds of depression (as Lord B has pointed out) but also the difference between depression and something like low self-esteem. I'm guessing low self-esteem can lead to depression but I too (from my non-medical standpoint) think algie's analysis is accurate and was made 'kindly' rather than patronisingly.

Anyway, as Spanish Seagulls said this is NSC at its best. Love and respect to all those dealing with depression either as sufferers or carers.

 

[H2O]

Ok, the first part is definitely true, the second part might not be so clear cut.

I am diagnosed with the bipolar condition of Cyclothymia, and after years of Citalopram and Venlafaxine not helping at all - in fact making things worse with side effects (constant need to sleep/emotional numbness on Citalopram/Cipramil and weight gain on Venlafaxine/Effexor) I have been on Fluoxetine/Prozac for 6 months and have had signifcant improvement with zero side effects. I know many, many other people who have had one or other of these three drugs work far better for them than the others, it seems to depend on your fundamental chemical makeup combined with where the problem is.

Of course, antidepressants can be a help but they are not the absolute answer for most, rather they will need to find what aspects of their life and/or thought processes are causing anxiety/stress/misery and address them as fully as possible. This is easily the most difficult part in practical terms.

For most it is a combination of life events and predisposition towards illness (certainly true in my case). Best a sufferer can do is attempt to one-by-one minimise the negative influences in their life, essentially remove or at least disempower the things that make them ill. CBT can certainly help in this regard.

I know that I need to change my job to have a chance of getting well, but in the meantime I gave up alcohol some 17 months ago despite being quite the social boozehound; I had to accept that the short term 'relief' of getting pissed most nights was unhelpful to the greater cause and so knocked it on the head.

My depression and related mental health issues are easily the hardest thing I have had to deal with in my 37 year life, ahead of financial woes, disease or bereavement, but I cling to the belief that I can get well again, or at least well enough to make life properly worth living. A supportive partner is invaluable in this - I am profoundly fortunate in this regard - and if you are willing to take it on you should feel justifiably proud to do so for your girlfriend.

The Phil Parker Lightning Process > Home


have a look at this site it is a course i have done to help with my
M.E and i have to say its changed my life. Things that are an alternative to medication seem to be easily dismissed but I can tell you 1st hand that if your open minded enough and willing to help yourself (which I take from what you have said you are) then have a look. And PM me if you want to no more

 

[PutYourHandsUp...]

This is a good site too..

RecoverYourLife.com - Self Harm Support and Information - Home

Its a forum for people thats suffer from related issues, and there is alot of help and support on there for friends and family members x

 

[Danny-Boy]

I'm no expert but my own experience of depression was as a result of drink and drug abuse so my advise would be to help her as best you can to beat these demons first, it can't be helping her illness. When you are depressed just smoking too much weed can put you in a dark place and drinking too much can mess with your head too.

It seems you are a good mate and just having someone around is bound to help her through the low times just bear in mind depression is a mental illness and not the same as being a bit down so often your efforts might not appear to have any influence on her mood or state of mind.

From my own experience, a change of scenery picked me up. Just getting out of the rut for a day or weekend, getting away bad influences. A female mate of mine dragged me to London Zoo for a day out when I was at my lowest point and i went from not even raising a smile for a week to laughing my head off and having a laugh.

Yes I would go with that, a change of scenery can help people to forget what a hell their present life is.

At one stage in my life when I was at my wits' end, I got bought a return open ticket to Australia via the US and NZ, I spent a year away from this country and worked through a lot.

And at the time I was over 40, this young lady is only 20 so could easily get work out there.

 

[Mr Banana]

Ugh. Had similar scenarios with so many friends it makes me feel a bit weird thinking about it.

Stick with it, be positive, be kind to each other, don't take it too seriously. Put yourself on the line and go way out of your way for her (if you've got time) regardless of what's gone on with you before, some things are too important. You will prevail x