Managing a Queue for Beer

[Lord Bracknell]

It comes down to simple mathematics.

If you place eight serving assistants behind a counter and eight long queues of customers in front of the counter and then require each of the eight serving assistants to jostle for position in front of one man who is operating the only working beer pump on site, how many queues of customers are being served at any one time? And how quick is the service?

The answers are:- JUST ONE; and it's VERY SLOW INDEED.

A practical demonstration of this puzzle could be seen post-match in the West Stand Lower Concourse.

A simple way to improve things would be to dedicate a couple of the customer queues to the service of people who only want a tea or a coffee or a Bovril or a bag of crisps. This would still leave just a single queue of people waiting for beer, but at least it would clear the non-beer drinkers away from the front of the counter.

There might even be a better way to get a multitude of serving assistants provided more quickly with beer, but I'll leave the solution to that conundrum to someone with more experience of bar management than I have.

 

[Bry Nylon]

I'll leave the solution to that conundrum to someone with more experience of bar management than I have.

If only there was someone with bar management experience posting on this board...

 

[Stat Brother]

 

[Bry Nylon]

"Beer filled from bottom" just sounds wrong...

 

[Stat Brother]

If only there was someone with bar management experience posting on this board...

What happens if you say the name 3 times?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

What happens if you say the name 3 times?

 

[drew]

It comes down to simple mathematics.

If you place eight serving assistants behind a counter and eight long queues of customers in front of the counter and then require each of the eight serving assistants to jostle for position in front of one man who is operating the only working beer pump on site, how many queues of customers are being served at any one time? And how quick is the service?

The answers are:- JUST ONE; and it's VERY SLOW INDEED.

A practical demonstration of this puzzle could be seen post-match in the West Stand Lower Concourse.

A simple way to improve things would be to dedicate a couple of the customer queues to the service of people who only want a tea or a coffee or a Bovril or a bag of crisps. This would still leave just a single queue of people waiting for beer, but at least it would clear the non-beer drinkers away from the front of the counter.

There might even be a better way to get a multitude of serving assistants provided more quickly with beer, but I'll leave the solution to that conundrum to someone with more experience of bar management than I have.

Reailly? Aren't there plenty of people that buy both, ie driver gets stuck with tea and everyone else in the car gets alcohol. Surely the answer is more beer pumps!

 

[Official Old Man]

In the case of the East Upper, put Harveys back on the separate bar. I have to queue up with the hot drink fans who take ages whilst those who drink Fosters can get a quick pint from the bar.

 

[el punal]

"Beer filled from bottom" just sounds wrong...

Watney's Red Barrel springs to mind. Pure, unadulterated, liquid shit is probably the best description.

"Beer filled from bottom" - my arse!

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Reailly? Aren't there plenty of people that buy both, ie driver gets stuck with tea and everyone else in the car gets alcohol. Surely the answer is more beer pumps!

It can't be that obvious, surely? There ARE more beer pumps in the West Lower Concourse. I'm sure that if more beer pumps was the answer, they would be using them. Wouldn't they?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

It can't be that obvious, surely? There ARE more beer pumps in the West Lower Concourse. I'm sure that if more beer pumps was the answer, they would be using them. Wouldn't they?

Best quick-pour idea I ever saw was at Goodwood racecourse a fair few years ago. They had a machine whereby you loaded it up with maybe 20 or 24 empty pint glasses, pressed a button and it poured 20 or 24 pints of lager perfectly. Would solve the pouring problem at the Amex at a stroke at peak periods. Combine that with contactless payment (maybe built into the ST?) and all that would be left to solve would be ninnies fannying around on both sides of the counter.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

The point is that it's incredibly inefficient to get EIGHT serving assistants jostling for position to get to the head of the queue to be supplied with beer by the ONE pourer of beer who is able to provide it.

At the very least, this means that there are seven serving assistants who are doing NOTHING except waiting in hope that they might get their beers sometime soon. Maybe.

At the same time there is an even bigger queue of people wanting to buy a beer who can't get anywhere near a serving assistant, because ALL the serving assistants are having to jostle for the attention of the beer pourer.

Most of the time, the people who are supposed to be serving customers can do no such thing.

 

[Stat Brother]

Why is it so difficult for people to understand the basics of the 'problem'.

x thousands of people want the same service in less than 15 minutes.

There isn't a problem, well not with the staff anyway.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The point is that it's incredibly inefficient to get EIGHT serving assistants jostling for position to get to the head of the queue to be supplied with beer by the ONE pourer of beer who is able to provide it.

At the very least, this means that there are seven serving assistants who are doing NOTHING except waiting in hope that they might get their beers sometime soon. Maybe.

At the same time there is an even bigger queue of people wanting to buy a beer who can't get anywhere near a serving assistant, because ALL the serving assistants are having to jostle for the attention of the beer pourer.

Most of the time, the people who are supposed to be serving customers can do no such thing.

If it's that much of a, er, bottleneck, the obvious solution is to only serve beer in bottles and cans. Problem solved.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Why is it so difficult for people to understand the basics of the 'problem'.

x thousands of people want the same service in less than 15 minutes.

There isn't a problem, well not with the staff anyway.

The staff ARE doing what they are told to do ... stand in a huddle for as long as it takes one person to pour enough beer to satisfy the customers of eight serving assistants, and then you will be able to collect the beer YOUR customer has asked for. This will take more than five minutes.

There IS a better way to achieve a quicker through-put of customers. It's achieved at half-time in the North Stand Concourse. Use ALL the beer pumps and pre-pour more beer much earlier.

 

[ManOfSussex]

I thought the Spanish student serving the kiosk all by herself by the entrance to W3G in the West Upper yesterday was lovely. She worked the queue to perfection and gave great head on my Harveys.

 

[Stat Brother]

What if the staff were all wearing rollerboots?

 

[Poyningsgull]

In the good old days, you took a flask of bovril, a sandwich and your rattle stuffed in your duffel bag.

Job done.

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Barry made an appearance on Strictly last week. What happened to all that hair?

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Best of all, the fella seems to be giving the beers away without any charge - that might make the queues longer but would also speed up the service, no?