Major crime reported in the Argus

[Gary Leeds]

http://www.theargus.co.uk/news/1110...on_after_wood_pushed_through_cat_flap/?ref=ms

I don't know how they manage to find these scoops

 

[Varndean VI Form College]

Great spot! Absurd.

 

[Razzoo]

Hanging is too good for the type of scum who do this.

 

[Grombleton]

That's terrific.

 

[Return of the Rev]

Since the tide of unchecked immigration this sought of thing has become all to common

 

[Doc Lynam]

When will the violence end!?

 

[albion534]

Barber Out

 

[Return of the Rev]

Thank god the green council in our city has taken measures to insure this does not happen here!

 

[Everest]

When will someone think of the cats?

 

[Stumpy Tim]

Who actually rings The Argus about such a story? Mental

 

[Guinness Boy]

Wood you believe it? Anna has surpassed herself there. Surely this is the sort of story she can sub contract to new crack hack Timber Hodges.

 

[Return of the Rev]

Apparently they have had copy cat crimes since the argus splashed the story across the nation!

 

[tinx]

Who actually rings The Argus about such a story? Mental

Who actually reports this with the police as well?

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Sticking wood through some flaps! Sounds like one of El President's more milder gentleman's relaxation films.

 

[Guinness Boy]

"Hello is that the Argus' crack crime reporter Anna Roberts?"

"No I'm sorry this is her secretary, hove born and bred"

"Well could you fetch her? I've an important crime to report"

*hb&b spends five minutes searching but she's nowhere to be found. He returns to the phone and puts on a high voice*

"Anna Roberts speaking"

"Good. Now listen. Some jokers just put some wood in my cat flap. 1 Sillybugger Way, Bognor"

"I'll get right on it"

*CLICK*

Anna returns from Pret a Manger with a pole caught tuna baguette and an apple for Timmy.

"You'll never guess what Anna! Someone's got wood and they're stuffing it in to pussy holes without asking"

Anna jumps in the company smart car and arranges to meet the rape squad at Butlins. The rest is history...

 

[Doc Lynam]

Story needs as many retweets as possible this sort of crime can't go unpunished.

 

[banjo]

It's just not safe on the streets anymore.

 

[Foul Play Rocks]

Sounds like a job for special branch to me.
Sorry. I'll get my coat

 

[sydney]

this sort of thing needs to be (cat) nipped in the bud....

 

[Badger]

Have any of the nationals got on board yet? I wouldn't be surprised to see this SPLASHED across the front pages tomorrow morning.