Madeleine - a poll

[Barrel of Fun]

Did the parents of Sara Payne get the same treatment from the British press and public?

 

[rospants]

Did the parents of Sara Payne get the same treatment from the British press and public?

very true, but the public see it in the way its portrayed in the press, whoever the press feel is to blame thats the way its put across to us

 

[fatbadger]

I do find it interesting that the non-parents seem much more likely to blame the parents. I don't believe for one minute that only parents have a right to comment, but I do think that the non-parents need to consider what the parents say. Believe me, you cannot watch them all the time; indeed, I personally believe, despite the (tiny, tiny) danger it entails, you shouldn't watch them all the time. There's too much policing of children's lives going on already.

The evidence so far says to me that there's no blame to be attached to anyone other than the abductor, and that these poor, grieving parents should be left alone. They'll be blaming themselves enough, and will probably never stop doing that until the day they die, and they certainly don't need judgemental people getting on their backs. They must be devastated, and everyone should bear that in mind. Have a heart - don't judge.

 

[¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>]

I do find it interesting that the non-parents seem much more likely to blame the parents. I don't believe for one minute that only parents have a right to comment, but I do think that the non-parents need to consider what the parents say. Believe me, you cannot watch them all the time; indeed, I personally believe, despite the (tiny, tiny) danger it entails, you shouldn't watch them all the time. There's too much policing of children's lives going on already.

The evidence so far says to me that there's no blame to be attached to anyone other than the abductor, and that these poor, grieving parents should be left alone. They'll be blaming themselves enough, and will probably never stop doing that until the day they die, and they certainly don't need judgemental people getting on their backs. They must be devastated, and everyone should bear that in mind. Have a heart - don't judge.

good post (speaking from a parent of 2's point of view). now await self-righteous knockdown from certain members of the board.

 

[captainmorganrum]

good post (speaking from a parent of 2's point of view). now await self-righteous knockdown from certain members of the board.

I think I'm probably one of your 'self-righteous...members' eh?
But I'm not going to knockdown anyone else's opinion (parents or not) - I'm only putting forward my p.o.v on this.

And Rospants, I think the press in this country have been remarkably restrained in their coverage - they've certainly not 'blamed' the McCanns.
I feel they, the press, are out of step with public opinion, certainly with 90% of the people I've spoken to.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

Captain Morgan Rum (Great tipple) - Do you think Sara Payne's parents were bad/irresponsible parents?

 

[British Bulldog]

A child goes missing in Portugal and we start a poll on who is to blame so we can point the finger at them, There's a crash on the M25 and Algie points the finger of blame on a Polish driver and gets slated for it, Am I seeing double standards?

 

[Yorkie]

A child goes missing in Portugal and we start a poll on who is to blame so we can point the finger at them, There's a crash on the M25 and Algie points the finger of blame on a Polish driver and gets slated for it, Am I seeing double standards?

Yes.

 

[fatbadger]

A child goes missing in Portugal and we start a poll on who is to blame so we can point the finger at them, There's a crash on the M25 and Algie points the finger of blame on a Polish driver and gets slated for it, Am I seeing double standards?

Algie wasn't criticised for pointing the finger of blame, Algie was criticised for assuming the crash had to be the fault of a foreigner and using the accident for his own racist ends.

And besides, this poll isn't about "who is to blame" but rather whether or not anyone (or, rather, two particular people) should be blamed for the disappearance of the girl.

 

[captainmorganrum]

Captain Morgan Rum (Great tipple) - Do you think Sara Payne's parents were bad/irresponsible parents?

BoF
(Since registering on here I've since discovered Mount Gay Rum, which is even nicer!)

I don't believe that Sara's parents were negligent.
Sara was 8 when she was abducted, she was in a place that her parents believed was safe.
Letting an 8-year old play outside in a place you think is safe is different from leaving three children (under three years of age) in a hotel room ....alone.

I can see the parallel you are trying to draw here, but personally I don't think there is much to link the actions of the respective parents.

I would let my boy play somewhere I believed was safe (when he reaches 8 years old), but I won't leave him alone at the moment, and for a good few years to come.

 

[chip]

What exactly are the parents to blame for? Certainly not that their child has been abducted. It amazes me that so many people lead such blameless lives that they can demonize two innocent people for the actions of a pervert.

 

[Simster]

A child goes missing in Portugal and we start a poll on who is to blame so we can point the finger at them, There's a crash on the M25 and Algie points the finger of blame on a Polish driver and gets slated for it, Am I seeing double standards?

No. A child goes missing in Portugal during which there is a debate of over 200 posts on a thread - half way through which people start to question the behaviour of the parents. Then we debate the same thing on another thread which is 180 posts long and counting. And finally Lush has spotted that there might be a correlation between people's opinons and whether they have children. And interestingly, she's right - opinion is firmly split down the middle amongst parents, but heavily weighted on one side amongst non-parents.

On the other hand, 6 people die on the M25 and on the very first reply, Algie points the finger at a foreign driver despite not knowing whether or not he was foreign at the time - and it's still not clear that it was the Polish driver's fault. Algie's post was insensitive and crass at best. His point might even be valid, but I'm afraid that was the wrong time to come out with it IMO.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

BoF
(Since registering on here I've since discovered Mount Gay Rum, which is even nicer!)

I don't believe that Sara's parents were negligent.
Sara was 8 when she was abducted, she was in a place that her parents believed was safe.
Letting an 8-year old play outside in a place you think is safe is different from leaving three children (under three years of age) in a hotel room ....alone.

I can see the parallel you are trying to draw here, but personally I don't think there is much to link the actions of the respective parents.

I would let my boy play somewhere I believed was safe (when he reaches 8 years old), but I won't leave him alone at the moment, and for a good few years to come.

Since registering here? Mount GAY? Enough of that!

I, personally, don't think that when comparing these two situations, that the age matters. They were both way under the legal age that a person is accountable for their actions. They were both defenceless and both at the mercy of unscrupulous people who prey on children. The fact is, that a lot of parents seemingly gauge the situation and are unaware of what lies ahead. I don't see the difference between an 8 and a 3 year old, although I am not a parent (I think...).

Yes, they did make the conscious decision to dinewithout their children, but they took without being in their exact position, I don't see how anyone can judge them. Did other parents at the resort, do the same? Were they given guarantees that the premises were safe? I just find it incredulous that people are so quick to judge, when facts are unclear. Can the parents on this website, honestly say that they have NEVER let their children out of their sight?

 

[British Bulldog]

No. A child goes missing in Portugal during which there is a debate of over 200 posts on a thread - half way through which people start to question the behaviour of the parents. Then we debate the same thing on another thread which is 180 posts long and counting. And finally Lush has spotted that there might be a correlation between people's opinons and whether they have children. And interestingly, she's right - opinion is firmly split down the middle amongst parents, but heavily weighted on one side amongst non-parents.

On the other hand, 6 people die on the M25 and on the very first reply, Algie points the finger at a foreign driver despite not knowing whether or not he was foreign at the time - and it's still not clear that it was the Polish driver's fault. Algie's post was insensitive and crass at best. His point might even be valid, but I'm afraid that was the wrong time to come out with it IMO.

Fair point Simster now go and read the thread about a fatality on the railway line ( probably on page 2 now ) and see how many posters point the finger at somebody cimmiting suicide without knowing the facts of whether it was suicide, an accident or in fact a railwayman that was killed doing his duty.

 

[Simster]

Fair point Simster now go and read the thread about a fatality on the railway line ( probably on page 2 now ) and see how many posters point the finger at somebody cimmiting suicide without knowing the facts of whether it was suicide, an accident or in fact a railwayman that was killed doing his duty.

Also a fair point - and what is particularly shite about that is that people have been reminded before now not to jump to conclusions with regards to rail fatalities.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Originally posted by British Bulldog:
Fair point Simster now go and read the thread about a fatality on the railway line ( probably on page 2 now ) and see how many posters point the finger at somebody cimmiting suicide without knowing the facts of whether it was suicide, an accident or in fact a railwayman that was killed doing his duty.

True. But where in that thread did anybody attempt to draw correlations between the incident and the nationality of the people involved?

 

[British Bulldog]

True. But where in that thread did anybody attempt to draw correlations between the incident and the nationality of the people involved?

Sort of sums it up really Roz, You can jump to whatever conclusion you want about anything as long as you dont blame a foriegner.

 

[Crawley Cobbler]

I have a 3 year old son and I blame the parents

Ditto.

 

[beardy gull]

I have a 11 month old girl and don't blame the parents. I certainly don't get angry about them. That seems a very strange reaction to me.

 

[clapham_gull]

I turned off over today when I saw the camera following the poor mother (who looks like she hasn't eaten for a week) in the church service today.

Basically the newspapers/TV have found themselves with a problem because they havent been able to cope with the local laws in Portugal that dictate that the police say as little as possible.

I listened to an interesting interview on the radio yesterday with an ex-policeman whose job it was to deal with situations like in the UK.

What happens is that the police constantly feed information to the newspapers over here. There are two levels, stuff they can print and stuff they can't. I was surprised at the level to which the media are given details of suspects before they are given permission to print them. However this relationship obviously serves a purpose for the police and the media.

The Portuguese case is also "difficult" for the UK media because they are of limited use to the Portuguese police, since she didn't go missing in this country.

The media has been frustrated, unable to get "involved" and have turned their attention to the parents.