Madeleine - a poll

[Yorkie]

I understand that and I'm sure most parents do. We don't get it right all the time though as shown by other parents on this thread.

 

[Race]

Jamie Bulger got lost for a moment.

It isn't as black & white as people think, it was a restaurant, reported to be only 40 yds away (altho accounts vary) in a secure compound.

It wasnt a secure compound though, and although from the restaurant they could see the apartment block their actual apartment was out of view, and the little girls bedroom window was right at the back which was easily seen and accessable from the road. They have been showing the map of the complex on Sky news and exactly where everything is and the timings etc. They last saw the girl at 9pm in the room and they found her missing as 10pm, which is a long time to leave her alone and they didnt register her with the child mining service. The bottom line for me is that if the girl had been in the care of the parents it was very unlikely to happen. A peodophile still might taken the risk of snatching her away had they been in the apartment, but I cant see it, not if they had been watching and waiting for the right opportunity.

 

[Lush]

I also think that one of the reasons why people find it easy to blame the parents is that they were having a meal in a 'on camp' restaurant. This is seen as a selfish act.

To take another hypothetical example... Would you be less sympathetic to a mum who had her child snatched from an upstairs bedroom while she was relaxing in a hot tub in the garden - as opposed to outside hanging out the washing and doing some weeding?

 

[jevs]

So was Sara Paine responsible for allowing poor little Sarah out to play without keeping an eye on her all the time.

It is so wrong to blame loving parents for this.

 

[Starry]

Not at all. I think if you are there supervising your children and doing all you can to maintain their safety you are doing all you can as a parent.

Leaving them home alone to go out to eat/attend an appointment/visit a friend is not doing all you should be as a parent.

I am here, the only adult in the house, all three of my children are fast asleep. The village pub (and believe me, I'd love a drink right now!) is literally at the end of a short lane and over the road, the second I step out that door and walk away I am failing my children. Whether I go to the pub, to meet a friend, to get a magazine, whatever.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Good thought-provoking poll

I have kids of my own and I don't blame the parents

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Not at all. I think if you are there supervising your children and doing all you can to maintain their safety you are doing all you can as a parent.

Leaving them home alone to go out to eat/attend an appointment/visit a friend is not doing all you should be as a parent.

I am here, the only adult in the house, all three of my children are fast asleep. The village pub (and believe me, I'd love a drink right now!) is literally at the end of a short lane and over the road, the second I step out that door and walk away I am failing my children. Whether I go to the pub, to meet a friend, to get a magazine, whatever.

Exactly what Starry says.

Our very good local is 300 yards away, and I have worked a bloody long day today, and would quite happily be in there now.

My wife is. With a couple of her mates. I am sat in front of this machine, as the little one is asleep upstairs.

I'm a Dad - that is my lot. And I wouldn't change it for the world.

 

[captainmorganrum]

I am here, the only adult in the house, all three of my children are fast asleep. The village pub (and believe me, I'd love a drink right now!) is literally at the end of a short lane and over the road, the second I step out that door and walk away I am failing my children. Whether I go to the pub, to meet a friend, to get a magazine, whatever.

I'm with you.
My little man is upstairs asleep.
I've got a pub at the bottom of my road - no further away than the McCann's tapas bar was from their room.
The pub has just been re-fitted, I wonder what it looks like?

The minute I closed the door on my little boy to have a drink (just one quick drink) in that pub is the minute that I am no longer a caring, loving, careful parent.

Having children means that I have to come second to their needs, I can't be selfish, I have to put them first.
I can't help feeling that the McCann's didn't have that mindset on their holiday.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

The minute I closed the door on my little boy to have a drink (just one quick drink) in that pub is the minute that I am no longer a caring, loving, careful parent.

Very very harsh

They were FIFTY YARDS away. They checked up every half hour.

Nobody expects to be stalked by a gang of no doubt British paedophiles. They let their guard down. They thought they were in safe and civilised surroundings.

Easy to be wise and self-righteous after the event. And very very cruel on the parents who patently dote on their kids.

 

[¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>]

please don't compare sitting in your house and thinking about going for a drink down at the local and leaving your kids at home with what madeleine's parents are going through right now.

everybody drops their guard whilst on holiday - you are relaxed, you are happy, you feel at ease.

in the cold light of day they made an error of judgement that i am sure that they will regret for the rest of their lives whatever the outcome of this horrific incident maybe.

i find some of the comments about 'blame' on this thread sickening.

 

[Starry]

everybody drops their guard whilst on holiday - you are relaxed, you are happy, you feel at ease.

Do they?

I don't think I know anyone that would agree with that.

When we are on holiday I become all the more vigilant, my children are in new territory, out of their comfort zones etc.

I think it's a valid comparison, Madeleine's parents decided to go for food with no childcare in place, I am here, with no childcare, I could walk out just as they did and be back within half an hour just as they apparently were doing. But I won't. My kids deserve better.

 

[captainmorganrum]

please don't compare sitting in your house and thinking about going for a drink down at the local and leaving your kids at home with what madeleine's parents are going through right now.

everybody drops their guard whilst on holiday - you are relaxed, you are happy, you feel at ease.

in the cold light of day they made an error of judgement that i am sure that they will regret for the rest of their lives whatever the outcome of this horrific incident maybe.

i find some of the comments about 'blame' on this thread sickening.

As a parent I am horrified that they left 3 very young children effectively home alone.

I am also equally horrified to think about what they must be going through as parents. It is absolutely unimaginable, the anguish and sheer hell they must be experiencing.

On balance they have my sympathy, but my biggest sympathy is for the child for having parents like that.

 

[Buzzer]

On balance they have my sympathy, but my biggest sympathy is for the child for having parents like that.

You really are self-righteous on this matter aren't you.

 

[Barrel of Fun]

A good friend of mine lived in a huge house. The kids bedroom was probably 80 metres from the lounge/dining room. I would imagine that you would think it is safer in your own home. Is it?

No blame should be levied at these poor parents. Did the parents of Sara Jayne get the same sort of public/media trial? No. Why is that?

 

[captainmorganrum]

You really are self-righteous on this matter aren't you.

Am I?
Relieved that I'm not in their position.

I'm sure they feel terrible, worse than terrible. I'm sure there are few words to describe how they feel.

But I cannot divorce any feeling of compassion I might feel toward them in their grief, with the very simple fact they were negligent.

And 67% of people voting on this poll 'BLAME' them too.

 

[¸.·´¯`·.¸><((((º>]

Do they?

I don't think I know anyone that would agree with that.

When we are on holiday I become all the more vigilant, my children are in new territory, out of their comfort zones etc.

I think it's a valid comparison, Madeleine's parents decided to go for food with no childcare in place, I am here, with no childcare, I could walk out just as they did and be back within half an hour just as they apparently were doing. But I won't. My kids deserve better.

well then that makes you a better parent than them

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

But I cannot divorce any feeling of compassion I might feel toward them in their grief, with the very simple fact they were negligent.

Every parent who ever had a child abducted was technically negligent in some way. same as every parent whose toddler was found face down in next door's garden pond.

Are they all bad parents?

Strange black and white view of the world you have.

 

[Starry]

well then that makes you a better parent than them

On this point, it does, along with the other parents in this thread.

I honestly cannot understand how anyone can say leaving children at home alone is OK. I want someone to explain that, I wish I could understand it, maybe then my opinion of the McCann's *might* change. As it stands, they made a poor parenting decision and unfortunately are paying for that in the worst way possible

 

[Yorkie]

Every parent who ever had a child abducted was technically negligent in some way. same as every parent whose toddler was found face down in next door's garden pond.

Are they all bad parents?

Strange black and white view of the world you have.

I agree.

 

[captainmorganrum]

Every parent who ever had a child abducted was technically negligent in some way. same as every parent whose toddler was found face down in next door's garden pond.

Are they all bad parents?

If I let my little boy drown in a pond, then YES, I would say I was a bad parent.

There, by the grace of god.