surrey jim
Not in Surrey
I DON'T have kids of my own and I don't blame the parents
Madeleine - a poll
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Reading Posh
Sophisticated rhetorician
I have kids.
With hindsight the parents made a mistake that had unforseeable consequences.
Blame is wholly inappropriate.
With hindsight the parents made a mistake that had unforseeable consequences.
Blame is wholly inappropriate.
Normal Rob
Well-known member
anybody who blames the parent is way out of order. 'let he who has not sinned' etc.
There are very few parents who have not turned their back on their child, however briefly, at some point, when perhaps they should not have - be that in the home, garden, out in town or abroad. What could have happened at that exact moment in time eh?
I hope to god that they find the child safe and that the agony is ended for all concerned.
There are very few parents who have not turned their back on their child, however briefly, at some point, when perhaps they should not have - be that in the home, garden, out in town or abroad. What could have happened at that exact moment in time eh?
I hope to god that they find the child safe and that the agony is ended for all concerned.
jevs
Well-known member
I think it's absolutely sick to be blaming anyone except the (unts that took the poor little mite.
We just seem to live in a world where we have to blame someone for every little thing.
The poor family of that little girl must be beating themselves up every day for not having the gift of hinesight. The chance of this happening is millions to one and whoever have taken her have obviously been watching her and picked their target.
They would've taken her at the slightest opportunity whether it was in these circumstances or not.
We just seem to live in a world where we have to blame someone for every little thing.
The poor family of that little girl must be beating themselves up every day for not having the gift of hinesight. The chance of this happening is millions to one and whoever have taken her have obviously been watching her and picked their target.
They would've taken her at the slightest opportunity whether it was in these circumstances or not.
cjd
Well-known member
Well, well, well.........a poll to see who is to blame. Does it occur to anybody, that there is almost certainly a paedophile or paedophile ring out in Portugal, who are prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to satisfy their sick lust...? They dont just take them from locked bedrooms....they take them from peoples bathrooms when the parents are in the house, park playgrounds when the parents are there, shopping malls when the parents are there.....in fact....if you happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time it could be your child.
But this is not really worth debating ....is it...?
Much better to have a poll to see who blames the parents.
I, like "goodfella" have 6 children, four of them under 9.........far be it from me to cast the slur of blame. I could probably fill a book with the "errors of judgement" I have made.
I wont join your poll.....I think it is sad.......Oh, and wont the parents feel so much better to know how many of you, and so many other "nobodies" in the media feel, at this time in their distraught state.
But this is not really worth debating ....is it...?
Much better to have a poll to see who blames the parents.
I, like "goodfella" have 6 children, four of them under 9.........far be it from me to cast the slur of blame. I could probably fill a book with the "errors of judgement" I have made.
I wont join your poll.....I think it is sad.......Oh, and wont the parents feel so much better to know how many of you, and so many other "nobodies" in the media feel, at this time in their distraught state.
Jimbo26
New member
Does this subject really require a poll ?
jevs
Well-known member
cjd said:
Top post sir
Barrel of Fun
Abort, retry, fail
surrey jim said:
Ditto. I don't think I can explain why I feel this way, but I do.
cjd said:
On the contrary, and much as it's a horrible topic to contemplate, I think it is important to debate and discuss. Just like so many other things that people think they shouldn't debate for fear of upsetting someone or adding to someone's distress.
I too could probably fill a whole book with errors of judgement I have made since having my first child. But it's because I have made those errors, got into debates, butted heads with people over it, learnt from it, that I have become, the far from perfect I'm sure, parent I am today.
Would it be OK if we had threads about Madeleine on here but everyone conformed and agreed? I don't think there is one person on this forum who in the several threads on here hasn't expressed their sympathy to her parents and their hope that Madeleine is found safely. But just because some sicko has snatched a child it doesn't mean the parents should be absolved of any comment nor have their actions questioned, that we should turn a blind eye to the fact that two, apparently intelligent people, choose to abandon their babies in an apartment and go out for food.
My posts haven't been written out of 'blame' and I do think that sometimes people are quick to accuse, but out of anger. I lost my daughter through no fault of my own. Little Madeleine would have looked to her parents to protect her, her brother and sister. You can't protect your baby if you leave them unattended, home alone. The anguish at losing your child composes you whole, there is nothing else, and to live with the fact that you lost your child in a situation like this is something I don't know how you can even begin to live with.
I've remembered them in my prayers every day this past week. But just because they are going through one of the worst things possible I don't think it should stop people discussing, questioning and trying to understand just what the heck drives someone to leave their babies alone. Because I want to understand that. I want to know why people think that is OK, why we shouldn't question her parents as to why they failed their children in this way.
Yes, maybe it's all too raw right now. But that rawness won't fade. Time doesn't heal jack shit, so when would be it be OK? Next week? When they return to England? Next year?
I hope and pray Madeleine is found and can be returned to her parents safe and well, but I'm can't sit back and not speak up when I think her parents failed her. And being unbelievably angry that this happened.
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Starry said:
I wouldn't know. Maybe for the rest of their lives even if she's found safe.
I still go cold when I think of my son in a shop in Wakefield going out of my sight for 15 mins. I was distraught and that's why I am suffering agonies now thinking of those parents. I didn't see him wander off as I paid for Christmas presents. He was gone in an instant. Two teenage girls found him outside the shop on a traffic island.
cjd
Well-known member
Starry said:
In the McCanns case....probably never. I can cope with peoples opinions, even if I disagree with them. I find a "poll" distasteful. Only my opinion of course.
I value your opinions on many subjects on this board, none more so when discussing children , for obvious reasons.
In this particular thread, I disagree with many.....I can live with that. What I cannot understand is that there is so much focus is on the parents decisions.....and not the perpetrators of this crime.... (at this moment..... just the cool, calculated abduction of a child).
Lady Bracknell
Handbag at Dawn
I think it has been very important to discuss and debate the issue. However, I'm another one who isn't prepared to add blame into the torment that the parents are going through. And I doubt that, whatever the outcome, they will ever forgive themselves for making what seemed at the time (given that the parents do not have a history of callous and routine child neglect) to be a reasonable decision.
However, what I have also found interesting is that there is a far greater fear of paedophilia amongst the younger parents on here. Which is not to say that I didn't give abduction a second thought when my sons were young but certainly my greatest concerns were about accidents and injuries. So it was getting the right balance between encouraging independence and not giving children the sort of freedom that they weren't capable of managing safely that was always one of my biggest dilemmas. That someone might steal my child if I took my eyes of it was not something that was uppermost in my mind. That it might cross the road and get run over was!
However, what I have also found interesting is that there is a far greater fear of paedophilia amongst the younger parents on here. Which is not to say that I didn't give abduction a second thought when my sons were young but certainly my greatest concerns were about accidents and injuries. So it was getting the right balance between encouraging independence and not giving children the sort of freedom that they weren't capable of managing safely that was always one of my biggest dilemmas. That someone might steal my child if I took my eyes of it was not something that was uppermost in my mind. That it might cross the road and get run over was!