[Misc] Luzzing stuff back over your garden fence.

[Stat Brother]

Let's say you lived next door to a very nice family.

Perhaps, hypothetically speaking, you happen to be a miserable tosspot who believes just because you are good neighbours that doesn't mean you have to be good friends, but nevertheless everything is very cordial.

But what if, in that mix there's a 'lively' 8 (or so) year old lad who's a bit of a screamer, and said child accuracy skills give the impression he's an Albion striker in the making.

To finish the obviously very hypothetical conundrum, with clearly no basis in real life, say oh I don't know, the miserabilist house extends past theirs.
That wall may be the perfect place to attach basketball hoop, so every twwwang of missed hoop resonates around the back of this random make-believe home, along with the associated scream.


Under those completely fictional circumstances, how long should one wait before returning:-

1 basketball.
2 other balls
1 sponge dart, now clogging up the gutter.
3 frisbees.
&
1 arrow

That have all arrived since Sunday's clear down of the garden.

 

[Bold Seagull]

Keep chucking them back as you should get a big bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk in return.

P.S. I don't think they should be fixing anything to 'your wall' if your house extends passed theirs...at least not without your permission.

 

[Driver8]

 

[Cowfold Seagull]

Return all listed items asap, it's important to get along with your neighbours however loathsome. You never know when you might need them.

 

[Randy McNob]

I used to chuck the cat shit back over my neighbours fence. Pretty sure it was their cat

 

[Goldstone1976]

Let's say you lived next door to a very nice family.

Perhaps, hypothetically speaking, you happen to be a miserable tosspot who believes just because you are good neighbours that doesn't mean you have to be good friends, but nevertheless everything is very cordial.

But what if, in that mix there's a 'lively' 8 (or so) year old lad who's a bit of a screamer, and said child accuracy skills give the impression he's an Albion striker in the making.

To finish the obviously very hypothetical conundrum, with clearly no basis in real life, say oh I don't know, the miserabilist house extends past theirs.
That wall may be the perfect place to attach basketball hoop, so every twwwang of missed hoop resonates around the back of this random make-believe home, along with the associated scream.


Under those completely fictional circumstances, how long should one wait before returning:-

1 basketball.
2 other balls
1 sponge dart, now clogging up the gutter.
3 frisbees.
&
1 arrow

That have all arrived since Sunday's clear down of the garden.

If I were a miserablist, I'd wait until the said young lad came round to ask for his kit back. Every time something came over. I'd feign deafness if he shouted over the fence ('I can't hear you, please come round to the front door'. Then I 'wouldn't hear' the front doorbell.). The miserablist would not have to do this very often until the frequency of missiles coming over the fence reduced considerably.

Personally, I'd just chuck them back each time I passed something in the garden.

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

Wouldn't happen, the miserable tosspot would have already popped round to the fictional neighbours and cordially explained his discomfort with an amicable solution already sorted.

 

[Stat Brother]

Keep chucking them back as you should get a big bar of Cadbury's Dairy Milk in return.

Well that person would be very lucky indeed.


I believe this completely made up, grumpy old man, is reluctant to return the basketball.

 

[studio150]

Take the basketball back personally, and say wouldn't it be great to have a little game of one on one, and use your extra height to trash the little 8 year old, and suggest the next time that you play, he will get a point advantage for each day that no balls or other items land in your garden.

Solved.

 

[CheeseRolls]

Let's say you lived next door to a very nice family.

Perhaps, hypothetically speaking, you happen to be a miserable tosspot who believes just because you are good neighbours that doesn't mean you have to be good friends, but nevertheless everything is very cordial.

But what if, in that mix there's a 'lively' 8 (or so) year old lad who's a bit of a screamer, and said child accuracy skills give the impression he's an Albion striker in the making.

To finish the obviously very hypothetical conundrum, with clearly no basis in real life, say oh I don't know, the miserabilist house extends past theirs.
That wall may be the perfect place to attach basketball hoop, so every twwwang of missed hoop resonates around the back of this random make-believe home, along with the associated scream.


Under those completely fictional circumstances, how long should one wait before returning:-

1 basketball.
2 other balls
1 sponge dart, now clogging up the gutter.
3 frisbees.
&
1 arrow

That have all arrived since Sunday's clear down of the garden.

Check if you were a kid once, before throwing it back you theoretically miserable ****
A couple of years he will be towering over you asking what happened to his basketball, you better start working out.

 

[Perkino]

In my experience irritating young children turn into loud mouthed teenagers who seem to host several other youths as the parents allow them to be yobbish. I'd be trying to keep them sweet with an air of confusion so they know you're not someone to upset before you get a really difficult problem in 8-10 years

 

[Stat Brother]

If I were a miserablist, I'd wait until the said young lad came round to ask for his kit back. Every time something came over. I'd feign deafness if he shouted over the fence ('I can't hear you, please come round to the front door'. Then I 'wouldn't hear' the front doorbell.). The miserablist would not have to do this very often until the frequency of missiles coming over the fence reduced considerably.

Personally, I'd just chuck them back each time I passed something in the garden.

I always throw stuff back, but as you can clearly see, this isn't about me!

If it were me, I'd also be miffed that the little shit have never once asked for stuff back or said thank you, in all the years he's been big enough to chuck his toys in my, sorry I mean, this made up garden.

 

[Garry Nelson's Left Foot]

Hypothetically the miserable **** should chuck everything back as and when he finds it. Apart from the basketball. That should be popped with a knife. Basketball is the shittest game ever invented.

 

[Hampster Gull]

Let's say you lived next door to a very nice family.

Perhaps, hypothetically speaking, you happen to be a miserable tosspot who believes just because you are good neighbours that doesn't mean you have to be good friends, but nevertheless everything is very cordial.

But what if, in that mix there's a 'lively' 8 (or so) year old lad who's a bit of a screamer, and said child accuracy skills give the impression he's an Albion striker in the making.

To finish the obviously very hypothetical conundrum, with clearly no basis in real life, say oh I don't know, the miserabilist house extends past theirs.
That wall may be the perfect place to attach basketball hoop, so every twwwang of missed hoop resonates around the back of this random make-believe home, along with the associated scream.


Under those completely fictional circumstances, how long should one wait before returning:-

1 basketball.
2 other balls
1 sponge dart, now clogging up the gutter.
3 frisbees.
&
1 arrow

That have all arrived since Sunday's clear down of the garden.

Are you in the very nice family or are you the miserable tosspot?

 

[Stat Brother]

Are you in the very nice family or are you the miserable tosspot?

It's clearly a hypothetical situation.





Oh and I'm offended you should even ask.

 

[Dick Head]

 

[Stat Brother]

Last week it took ME 4 attempts to get one of those 3 pronged flyers to stay on their side of the fence.
The next day it was back in the middle of my lawn!

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

The answer, my friend, is move house.

Or is it Blowin' in the wind?

Many years ago we had a dysfunctional family living several doors down. The five year old would call him mum a 'futty cuh'. The 14 year old didn't go to school and sat in the garden most of the day shooting an air rifle. When the ferret bit the mother, the 11 year old daughter told her mum to 'be more ****ing careful'. The kids were often in my garden (not getting balls, and that, just wandering about, picking at things).

I had (still have) a bath sunk into the ground near my shed. Back then it was covered by a wooden shed door (it is now nicely concealed and serves as a home for frogs and some sort of grass snake thing). The water was only six inches deep owing to mud and rocks and stinking filth back then. If you fit the door slightly incorrectly it made a teeter totter.....

"Oh dear, my little snotface fell in your sunken bath in your garden and came home soaked and covered in stinking mud!"

"In my garden you say? "

""

I didn't have any problems after that.

You need to set a cunning trap that is deniable if things 'go awry' Never let it be said that I am not evil, in extremis. Only in extremis, mind. PM me if you need ideas.

 

[southstandandy]

I do scoop up the neighbours cat poo and deposit back over their fence as their cat seems to think our garden is it's toilet.

I have though now solved the problem and have the hose on 'jet' mode outside the conservatory and blast it a few times and it rarely now comes back . Result.

 

[Pavilionaire]

Can't you "come to some arrangement" with the lad's mum?