[Misc] Little signs that you might just be losing it :0/

[Easy 10]

I've literally just tried to swipe a small insect off my laptop screen with the mouse pointer. I'm 50.

WTF ?

 

[Guinness Boy]

I've literally just tried to swipe a small insect off my laptop screen with the mouse pointer. I'm 50.

WTF ?

I told the kids the frog / mortgage / Mick Jagger joke that was posted on here a few days ago, framing it as the world's worst dad joke and delighting in their obvious contempt.

Then I took the dog for a walk and called him "Pat" (which you will understand if you know the joke I'm talking about) instead of his proper name.

I suspect both incidents count.

 

[KZNSeagull]

I've literally just tried to swipe a small insect off my laptop screen with the mouse pointer. I'm 50.

WTF ?

Did it work?

 

[Easy 10]

Did it work?

Didn't even startle it. But it HAS now met its end.

 

[Paulie Gualtieri]

I've literally just tried to swipe a small insect off my laptop screen with the mouse pointer. I'm 50.

WTF ?

My Nan once told my dad to clean the fish tank when looking at an old PC monitor with the windows logo screensaver bouncing around the screen

 

[Pevenseagull]

A few days ago I wasn't sure which hand to hold a knife and fork in and found it frustrating.

I'm 50.

I am probably losing it.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Didn't even startle it. But it HAS now met its end.

We had one of them when we lived in Taipei where mozzies and gnats are EVERYWHERE.

Regularly saw an old Taiwanese bloke in a vest near our apartment block waving one around near a light during the evening and lighting up the strings like a good old Lewes bonfire.

Meanwhile, the satisfaction gained in nailing a big b'stard mosquito right in the middle of the bat cannot be underestimated. Like hitting a Wimbledon winner down the line against Federer or smacking Brett Lee for four.

 

[Easy 10]

We had one of them when we lived in Taipei where mozzies and gnats are EVERYWHERE.

Regularly saw an old Taiwanese bloke in a vest near our apartment block waving one around near a light during the evening and lighting up the strings like a good old Lewes bonfire.

Meanwhile, the satisfaction gained in nailing a big b'stard mosquito right in the middle of the bat cannot be underestimated. Like hitting a Wimbledon winner down the line against Federer or smacking Brett Lee for four.

During that brief sunny spell we had a few weeks back (sometimes referred to as "British Summer" I believe), I had loads of mozzies congregating in their little swarms all around the garden and patio. I went to town on them, basically committing mass mosquito genocide as I floated around our lawn like your Roger Federer, elegantly dispatching them with a forehand and backhand swish, or sometimes an overhand serve.

You're quite right. The static crackle of taking them out - with additional attractive blue flash in the dusk - is one of the most satisfying things I've experienced since I came across a reem of bubble wrap in an alleyway in Bolton (long story).

Now I'm absolutely hankering for a bluebottle or a WASP. Bring it on.

 

[Bodian]

A few days ago I wasn't sure which hand to hold a knife and fork in and found it frustrating.

Especially as you were having soup.

 

[Pevenseagull]

Especially as you were having soup.

I just stick my face in that and hope for the best.

 

[clapham_gull]

This may be a London thing, but I often get out my cash card (used to be Oyster) to "swipe" when "entering" a pedestrian crossing.

This isn't recent, I've been doing it for years.

I chuckled to myself last week when an elderly person confused a barcode scanner on the till at a coffee kiosk with the contactless machine.

Poor dear relentlessly waving her cash card at the scanner hoping the laser would pick up the non existent barcode on her card.

A few days ago I did the same.

Quite worryingly I walked out of M&S without paying yesterday, but managed to very quickly reverse ferret.

 

[Bold Seagull]

I've literally just tried to swipe a small insect off my laptop screen with the mouse pointer. I'm 50.

WTF ?

This at least sounds a lot safer than your hedge trimming.

 

[hart's shirt]

Quite worryingly I walked out of M&S without paying yesterday...

This is not just theft.

This is M&S theft.

 

[The Clamp]

I have stood over the full sink recently with a dirty cup in one hand and a clean knife and fork in the other and simply not known what to do with any of it or in what order

 

[Gabbafella]

I just stick my face in that and hope for the best.

That's the name of my sex tape.

 

[Easy 10]

I chuckled to myself last week when an elderly person confused a barcode scanner on the till at a coffee kiosk with the contactless machine.

Poor dear relentlessly waving her cash card at the scanner hoping the laser would pick up the non existent barcode on her card.

A few days ago I did the same.

Somewhat worryingly, so did the Chancellor of the Exchequer a week or so ago.

 

[Icy Gull]

Deciding I need to do something and before I even reach the next room, it’s gone, no idea what I’ve gone to do. I think you need to be more than 50 before this starts happening

 

[Easy 10]

This at least sounds a lot safer than your hedge trimming.

Needs doing again soon.

 

[Gabbafella]

Once made myself late for work and also very angry because I spent nearly 30mins looking for my glasses when I was wearing them the whole time.

 

[clapham_gull]

Somewhat worryingly, so did the Chancellor of the Exchequer a week or so ago.

Weird I'm also non domiciled.

I told them that long term I'm going to make Croydon my permanent residence and they went for it.