[Finance] Legal advice - Divorced dad

[Simster]

Dont get legal advise - they will promise you the earth and then bleed you dry. I dont understand why you would necessarily need to pay for your daughter's accommodation if she's at uni. The 'normal' practice is for her to get a student loan to cover that.

I don't know about "normal practice". We are doing what all our friends seem to be doing - paying for our kid's accommodation while they get loans for fees and day to day living expenses (although ours have both worked part time to cover their living expenses). Anyway, it seems to me that in my circles, parents are "expected" to cover accommodation costs.

The crux of the OP's issue seems to be whether "paying for education" always included the £5,000 a year that it costs to house a student at uni.

 

[Uh_huh_him]

I don't know about "normal practice". We are doing what all our friends seem to be doing - paying for our kid's accommodation while they get loans for fees and day to day living expenses (although ours have both worked part time to cover their living expenses). Anyway, it seems to me that in my circles, parents are "expected" to cover accommodation costs.

The crux of the OP's issue seems to be whether "paying for education" always included the £5,000 a year that it costs to house a student at uni.

My view was that i continued to pay the agreed maintenance amount until a certain point in time (regardless of whether the child attended Uni or not)
This period exceeded the point that is usually covered for maintenance, but I felt it was fair and fixed.

I thought the accommodation issue was covered, once my daughter decided she wanted to attend a London University (as both my ex and I both live in London)
To have the rug pulled out from me and my daughter like this has caused some ill feeling.

Hopefully we can reach an amicable solution.
Others have far worse situations.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Contact Rachel Horner at Rosemary Hensby Law in Goring, she’s the Lionel Messi of Divorce, a Rottweiler in the nicest possible way, but underneath a lovely lady and an Albion fan. (1901 East member as well)

Ah, the master of a messy divorce?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

You daughter is now an adult so her higher education and accommodation are her responsibility. If your ex is prepared to pay half the costs this is better than nothing. If this puts you in financial difficulty then you should discuss this with your ex, keeping in mind that nobody 'owes' anybody anything anymore.

I will refrain from commenting on the apparent ruthlessness of your ex.

This, sadly. The Bank Of Mum And Dad is not an actual thing without great pain. Daughter is a just-about-grown-up, has access to things like Student Loans and Halls Of Residence and part-time employment. Any conversation should involve all three of you. She's not a kid anymore

 

[Bold Seagull]

This, sadly. The Bank Of Mum And Dad is not an actual thing without great pain. Daughter is a just-about-grown-up, has access to things like Student Loans and Halls Of Residence and part-time employment. Any conversation should involve all three of you. She's not a kid anymore

That is factually incorrect. Daughter can only access Student maintenance loans through means testing of household income and wealth. It isn't something an 18 year old student can just apply for. If that household income is at a certain level it is stated that the household will make up the shortfall.

I know, that's not how it's presented is it, so I don't blame you or others posting that an 18 year old can just go to Uni and get fees and loans, but that is not the case.

 

[nwgull]

Some great advice and general empathy on this thread, as always for similar subjects on NSC (yes, your ex does sound like a CJTC).

Having been through the process myself, the best advice I could give to the younger posters on here: Don't get married. Unless it's important to your religious beliefs, there is literally no advantage to it unless you die unexpectedly and are worth more than £325K.

 

[Littlemo]

My view was that i continued to pay the agreed maintenance amount until a certain point in time (regardless of whether the child attended Uni or not)
This period exceeded the point that is usually covered for maintenance, but I felt it was fair and fixed.

I thought the accommodation issue was covered, once my daughter decided she wanted to attend a London University (as both my ex and I both live in London)
To have the rug pulled out from me and my daughter like this has caused some ill feeling.

Hopefully we can reach an amicable solution.
Others have far worse situations.

If you didn’t want to go down the route of a lawyer, I’d certainly suggest citizens advice at least. I think all of this depends on what was agreed in your divorce agreement - that’s where knowing what was agreed and what your rights are is important.

 

[Triggaaar]

Having been through the process myself, the best advice I could give to the younger posters on here: Don't get married.

I disagree with that advice. To each their own.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Some great advice and general empathy on this thread, as always for similar subjects on NSC (yes, your ex does sound like a CJTC).

Having been through the process myself, the best advice I could give to the younger posters on here: Don't get married. Unless it's important to your religious beliefs, there is literally no advantage to it unless you die unexpectedly and are worth more than £325K.

Wrong!

Because of our income difference, I get 10% of my missus basic tax allowance - which I deem, as does my tax/pension advisor, to be an advantage.
Can only do this with a legal partner ... married / civil partnership.

Oh, and [may be a bit old fashioned but] my kids don't get called bastards either

I'd respectfully suggest that your advice could be bettered but choosing a partner you can spend the rest of your life with.
Plus, I'd recommend anyone over 18 have a will too ...