League of Fools

[CheeseRolls]

Here it is, you have one season with cash burning a whole in your pocket. How badly can you screw things up?

Maybe you are fed up with our fickle fans picking new favourites? A strike force of Jordan Rhodes and Ross McCormack, suddenly looks affordable on premiership wages and transfer fee wise both could be available at reasonable prices.

How about signing specialists? How much would Alex Pritchard cost to perform the specialist role of 90th minute time wasting substitute and water bottle carrier?

Do we need more premiership know how? Maybe help Joey Barton with an appeal and bring him in alongside John Terry?

Can you ever have enough show boaters? Which luxury lightweights may just turn into overnight sensations, if you get the cheque book out?

Are we premiership ready? Or is there some new merchandise and maybe a couple of statues that could enhance our image.

How about global markets? Do we need to make a couple of rubbish signings to build a fan base somewhere obscure, or is a pointless pre-season tour of somewhere obscure and far flung more your style?

Are there some Palace fringe players, we could overpay for?

Over to you NSC.

 

[Mental Lental]

Honda is out of contract at AC Milan. Can play the number 10 role and we would make a KILLING in merch. Even though he looked a bit past it in the last few Japan games I saw. Maybe just lack of match fitness though. Not that much of a gamble considering the money we'd make on raising our profile in Asia.

 

[dazzer6666]

Ballotelli and Adebayor up front, 150k a week each.

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Heated seats, USB charging ports and seat back TVs showing the Chelsea/Spurs/West Ham game for some of our newer supporters. We would need to pay for the rights of course.
Gold flakes in all pints of Harvey's.
Statue of Mullery in the act of throwing loose change.
Peter Ward on 10 year, £100000 a week contract.
Abusive Palace related message mown into the pitch and take the fine that comes with it.
All the pictures from the Sheffield Wednesday thread played non stop on the advertising hoardings - who needs the advertising income?
Replace the away end with the biggest Jumbotron in the world - take the fine for not allowing away fans.

 

[easynow]

The entire stadium slowly rotates around the pitch.

1000ft amex tower with hotel, helipad and zip line to the seafront and station.

High speed maglev train to Brighton station.

Food and drinks delivered by drones that look like seagulls.

 

[Hendrax]

The entire stadium slowly rotates around the pitch.

1000ft amex tower with hotel, helipad and zip line to the seafront and station.

High speed maglev train to Brighton station.

Food and drinks delivered by drones that look like seagulls.

That last bit made me chuckle, thanks.

 

[ROSM]

We could sign kim yo jong (younger sister of kim jong un) for the womens team.

She might not be able to play but imagine the merchandising opportunities. Plus in dprk we will be reported as winning every week and being world champions

Also we should all be given a life size forestieri doll

Finally i want dino zoff in goal

 

[Gazwag]

Seat back half time beer ordering service and then met with a waiter with your drink as you walk onto the concourse. Immediately solves the mass exodus at 40 minutes

 

[Paul Reids Sock]

We could build a monorail?

 

[PeterOut]

Seat back half time beer ordering service and then met with a waiter with your drink as you walk onto the concourse. Immediately solves the mass exodus at 40 minutes

What? Collect my own drink? I would expect the waiter to bring it to me!
(Not so far-fetched - I understand that plenty of stadiums bring food / drink to you.)

 

[whitelion]

What? Collect my own drink? I would expect the waiter to bring it to me!
(Not so far-fetched - I understand that plenty of stadiums bring food / drink to you.)

Seem to recall a stadium where the burgers etc were delivered on a mini-train system - I'm sure I wasn't dreaming.

http://metro.co.uk/2010/09/30/hot-dog-train-attracting-new-fans-to-fc-st-pauli-530472/

The ultimate in fast food innovations, St Pauli have installed the model railway to serve supporters in their VIP section with freshly cooked sausages throughout the game.

The train runs every five minutes direct from the club kitchens to the VIP section – and is topped up with fresh porkers throughout each home match.

There’s nothing better to wash down those dogs than a good pitcher of beer – so what could be more appropriate than individual pumps for each seat, AND a built-in flat screen TV for action replays?

Designer Mathias Mueller-Using described the upgrade as ‘a tribute to the club we love and its very special fans’.

The Hamburg club’s bosses – who have installed the new devices to celebrate their return to the Bundesliga this season – hope the train helps fans stomach even the wurst results (sorry).

 

[Knocky's Nose]

A smelly and dilapidated concrete floor for the away teams dressing room, coupled with a cold air blast system to make it extra miserable and absolute silence outside...

.... or would that make Crystal Palace feel too 'at home'

 

[Bigtomfu]

We could build a monorail?

BEAT me to it. [emoji35]


Sometimes right, sometimes wrong but ALWAYS certain

 

[Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo]

We could build a monorail?

It certainly put Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook on the map.

 

[Frutos]

It certainly put Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook on the map.

Is there a chance the track could bend?

 

[Paul Reids Sock]

Is there a chance the track could bend?

Not on your life, my Hindu friend

 

[Bigtomfu]

It certainly put Brockway, Ogdenville, and North Haverbrook on the map.

Is there a chance the track could bend?

Not on your life, my Hindu friend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDOI0cq6GZM&feature=share




Sometimes right, sometimes wrong but ALWAYS certain

 

[Triggaaar]

The entire stadium slowly rotates around the pitch.

Nice, I like it.

1000ft amex tower with hotel, helipad and zip line to the seafront and station.

Good.

High speed maglev train to Brighton station.

Don't know what that is, sounds good.

Food and drinks delivered by drones that look like seagulls.

 

[Seasidesage]

The entire stadium slowly rotates around the pitch.

1000ft amex tower with hotel, helipad and zip line to the seafront and station.

High speed maglev train to Brighton station.

Food and drinks delivered by drones that look like seagulls.

**** new players I want this and my Seagull is to be called Cyril and have an extra long beak. Also when we play Palace they can be deployed as dive bombers dropping an array of crap voted for at half time...