TWOCHOICEStom
Well-known member
It's Saturday 12th August. Man City at home. 0-0 in the 91st minute. It's 29 degrees. Lewis Dunk is sweating like a pig when approached by Raheem Sterling...
RS: "You ok Lewis, you look a bit red?"
LD: "Sweating my tits off, these Nike kits are ****ing horrible"
RS: "Aren't you wearing a Vapor[SUP](TM)[/SUP] kit with Aeroswift[SUP](TM)[/SUP] technology like me?"
LD: "No"
RS: "Why? We both have Nike as a kit manufacturer and we're both playing in the Premier League? They're only £30 extra you cheapskate!"
LD: "No, it's not the cost of the actual equipment, you see we're not one of Nike's elite clubs"
RS: "Eh? So, you have to wear the fan version like the poor people up there? Urrgh!"
LD: "Yeah, but Paul Barber did really well to get a great deal. This swoosh really draws in the kit sales, us being sweaty and at a disadvantage on the pitch is a small price to pay in comparison to the revenue which the swoosh[SUP](TM)[/SUP] generates. Plus this year they blessed us by putting a break in the stripes so we don't have to have a slap on panel sticking to us. Such an incredible gesture from them. We really should be thankfu... Wait! Where are you going?!"
Lewis tries to grab Raheem's shirt but fails because of the anti-grab tech in the Aeroswift[SUP](TM)[/SUP] kit which Lewis does not have, Sterling scores making 0-1 in the 92nd Minute
Seriously though. The advantages are up for debate, but isn't it mad that our players won't be wearing the best version of Nike's kit just because we're not a "big enough" club?
RS: "You ok Lewis, you look a bit red?"
LD: "Sweating my tits off, these Nike kits are ****ing horrible"
RS: "Aren't you wearing a Vapor[SUP](TM)[/SUP] kit with Aeroswift[SUP](TM)[/SUP] technology like me?"
LD: "No"
RS: "Why? We both have Nike as a kit manufacturer and we're both playing in the Premier League? They're only £30 extra you cheapskate!"
LD: "No, it's not the cost of the actual equipment, you see we're not one of Nike's elite clubs"
RS: "Eh? So, you have to wear the fan version like the poor people up there? Urrgh!"
LD: "Yeah, but Paul Barber did really well to get a great deal. This swoosh really draws in the kit sales, us being sweaty and at a disadvantage on the pitch is a small price to pay in comparison to the revenue which the swoosh[SUP](TM)[/SUP] generates. Plus this year they blessed us by putting a break in the stripes so we don't have to have a slap on panel sticking to us. Such an incredible gesture from them. We really should be thankfu... Wait! Where are you going?!"
Lewis tries to grab Raheem's shirt but fails because of the anti-grab tech in the Aeroswift[SUP](TM)[/SUP] kit which Lewis does not have, Sterling scores making 0-1 in the 92nd Minute
Seriously though. The advantages are up for debate, but isn't it mad that our players won't be wearing the best version of Nike's kit just because we're not a "big enough" club?
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