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[Food] Killer plants to eat all our schoolchildren











chickens

Have you considered masterly inactivity?
NSC Patron
Oct 12, 2022
2,693
That’s the answer. Tarmac everything.

I for one welcome our black, slightly sticky future, with an absence of messy organic matter such as plants and animals. And it solves congestion problems, because once complete, we can drive and park absolutely anywhere. Huzzah!

I await @Stat Brother’s delighted response. :wink:
 


Van Cleef

Well-known member
Jun 17, 2023
846
Old news. I watched a documentary in the 80s about these little fellas and we are all still here!
1689089032747.png
 






el punal

Well-known member
Aug 29, 2012
12,547
The dull part of the south coast


1066familyman

Radio User
Jan 15, 2008
15,233
Phytophotodermatitis anyone? Don't be growing Parsnips for starters!

There's a plant list as long as your arm that can do you harm. Let's rip up the lot!!!

I hope vigilante squads are being organised as we speak to be sent out into the woods to save everyone from all those evil mushrooms. Panther Caps are already up and about! 😱 At the very least, won't anyone think of the children!
 




Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley

:facepalm:

For heavens sake - This suffolk village plans to rid itself of poisonous plants. Why not just educate your children not to eat them?
Sounds like the real problem is that the footpath is overgrown, but because it is overgrown with a toxic plant, they want the council to deal with it.
 


BadFish

Huge Member
Oct 19, 2003
18,201
We need to reduce the number of children in each class, I think I might have a solution . . . .
Give some hemlock and some lettuce and then so a probability lesson.

It really is win win.
 








1066familyman

Radio User
Jan 15, 2008
15,233
Sounds like the real problem is that the footpath is overgrown, but because it is overgrown with a toxic plant, they want the council to deal with it.
Exactly! So many footpaths are overgrown and nothing gets done about it. Same as cars parking on pavements.

I wonder what the reaction would be if roads became overgrown and pedestrians set up picnics in the middle of the road, forcing cars to go around them.
 








Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,864
Well you can't be too careful can you? And while they're at it they'd better grub up all the Deadly Nightshade and foxglove plants. And cut down all the yews and laburnums. And I suppose we might as well get rid of all the hawthorn bushes as well as their berries can be toxic if eaten in large numbers. Better to be safe than sorry eh? "If it saves one life".
 


studio150

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2011
30,229
On the Border
What about the local witches who have been using the hemlock.

Also don't overlook the need to censor Shakespeare's Macbeth, we can't have children exposed to Act IV Scene 1, with the witches saying "..Root of hemlock digg’d i’ the dark.." which no doubt exposes the children to the temptation of hemlock.
 










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