[Football] Jon Obika

[Stat Brother]

You could take heart in the fact he joins a long list of recent strikers absolutely slated by the fans, who many now have two things in common:-


Vilified at The Albion.


&


Now play in the Premier League.

 

[Mellor 3 Ward 4]

If you pay 500k for Obika then you have been seriously mugged

 

[The Legend that IS Lawro]

To nick a phrase ' he could trap a ball further than I can kick it'.

 

[Taybha]

I liked him , i just wish we could have seen him and Billy Paynter up front together , the two together could have been very special but twas not to be sadly , dont listen to any of these goons they all piss off home at 85 minutes so none of them would of seen Obika actually play .

Theres only one Obikawongoalkanobearsed

 

[Commander]

I normally do not go in for saying any professional footballer is useless, even Ryan Harley. Obika is useless.

 

[skipper734]

From the late lamented Seagull Love Review.

[h=2]17 MARCH 2014[/h][h=3]TSLR COVER JOKE CAUSES STRIKER TO LEAVE[/h]

​

Those of you who picked up the latest (hard copy) issue of the fanzine over the past three games will have noticed that Jonathan Obika was the butt of our cover joke. Well, just nine days after publication - and with the man himself having seen an actual copy of TSLR057 - the Tottenham striker has left Albion. We can exclusively reveal that the two events are related.


Having been a jolly unpopular loan signing, it was with some relief that we heard today's announcement of how Obika will return to fellow Division 2 club, Charlton Athletic. Charlton fans are now getting as excited about him in a very similar way as Albionites did back on 8 January. After over two months at Albion, Obika scored just the one goal, in the FA Cup match against Port Vale (some may say - and many have and will continue to do so - a club around about his skill level). In the latter part of his loan deal with us, TSLRites would be known to take bets on how long Obika - having been substituted on to a pitch - would take to touch the ball. In the home match against Hull, it was seven minutes, and he'd only come onto the hallowed Falmer turf some 11 minutes from the full time whistle.


The latest issue of TSLR came out ahead of the home match with Reading last Saturday, a few days after the topic of offensive chanting at football was covered by Channel 4's Dispatches. Being that one of the most offensive things we've seen this season was Obika on a football pitch - and as it appeared to be that all Albionites correctly asserted that he was a donkey - the cover was a no-brainer.

Following the Reading game at Falmer, some of us found ourselves in what used to be the 'East Stand Brassiere' or what they now call the 'Sports Bar' (or should that be bra?). For those who don't know, this 'Sports Bar' is situated right next to what the club calls the 'Player's Lounge'. As we supped on yet another pint of post match Harveys, our delight in spotting Obika emerging from the lounge was indescribable. As soon as someone spotted the Tottenham striker - and as we have done over the past six seasons with Albion players - we got him to pose with the latest issue.

The thing is, it's the first time that we have collared an actual Albion player to pose with a cover laughing at that exact player. Usually in the situation of a player-holding-TSLR-photo-opp, we'd let the player take the issue home but, on this occasion - and on the basis we didn't want to erode his already frail confidence levels whilst he was an Albion player - we snatched it back. As we grabbed the issue from Obika's strong grip, there was a telling look from the kid (and he is just a kid, even if he has been to the gym more than most of us adults). There was no doubt Obika had spotted his name on the cover, and there is no doubt that if a player features on the cover of a fanzine, then it's usually not in a complimentary way.

We felt a little bad afterwards when we thought about our role in helping to break the kid's confidence but we did feel better, however, after a few more beers. It turns out that when a player we abuse is a small, inanimate object on the distant pitch, it's far easier than when they're up close and in person. Especially when they easily have the ability to beat you up. Don't worry though, we feel great today. If in some small way we stopped Obika wanting to waste a place on the Albion substitute's bench, then we must have done something right, right? So does anyone have any cover ideas about Kemy for our final issue of the season?


POSTED BY STEN AT MONDAY, MARCH 17, 2014 1 COMMENTS

 

[seagullsovergrimsby]

Could do well in League 1 which is probably at the highest level he should be playing at. Not worth more than £150k.

 

[portslade seagull]

And to think some on here thought he was a class signing ... easily pleased ... now finding his level

 

[Brizzle Lad In Peace]

The thing that makes me think, there must be something about him that you all haven't seen, is the fact he is still on the books of Tottenham, at the age of 23.

 

[pornomagboy]

You should go for will hoskins instead such am unlucky player over last couple of years

 

[portslade seagull]

You should go for will hoskins instead such am unlucky player over last couple of years

Agree with this, can't believe no one has picked him up yet

 

[Soulman]

You should go for will hoskins instead such am unlucky player over last couple of years

If Hoskins has got over his injury problems he could be a very good signing.....terrible bad luck at the Albion and released at the end of the season.

 

[Soulman]

The thing that makes me think, there must be something about him that you all haven't seen, is the fact he is still on the books of Tottenham, at the age of 23.

The worrying thing for you BL is that Obika has been loaned out a lot and never really seems to set the clubs alight. Very little game time at BHA, but what i did see was not too impressive.

 

[tomfitz12]

better off spending the money on a freddo, and even at 20p you could legitimately be paying over the odds for him.

but yeh in all seriousness he was utter sh"t. Couldn't shoot to save his life, as the bicycle kick proved, whilst also appearing to be quick judging by his build but turning out to be disappointingly slow.

so yeh, wouldn't recommend the chap. good luck for the season ahead though

 

[Simster]

He's as gash as everyone else says he is.

 

[TonyW]

I just can't understand the Anti-Obika nonesense on here.
Garcia never gave the kid a chance.

On the very rare occasions he did get on the pitch, he looked rapid.
Scored a goal at Port Vale in the cup using pace and a poacher's instinct.

How any of us can say he's crap is beyond me.

Been at Spurs a while now, so presumably he has something.

 

[BrianWade4]

Two words......bicycle and kick should sum it up.

Haven't laughed so much in years when he did that. Clown

 

[BrianWade4]

He's not even a footballer let alone a striker.

Lazy piece of shit, the only player ever to wear the Stripes I would have gladly punched in the face............repeatedly.

Absolutely this. Join the queue

Its not personal, he just didn't understand the game of football. Made the wrong runs. Stood in the wrong place. Tactically inept. Made worse as he had no ability of skills to hide that fundamental failing

 

[Mackenzie]

Oh dear.

 

[BrianWade4]

Hi all, Bristol City fan in peace here, and I just wanted to get your thoughts on Jon Obika, as I believe you had him on loan for a period of last season.

We have been heavily linked with him the last few days, and with us being tipped for promotion, and with some of the quality signings we have made over the last weeks, is he the sort of player we need?

Also, what are his main attributes? Is he a target man? Or is he a pacey striker?

Thanks boys

Attributes !!!! Superbly funny. Brilliant