Joke

[Tim]

A Millwall fan out walking in the countryside passes an orchard with a sign outside saying apples for sale. He sees the owner leaning on a gate and asks "How much are the apples ?

"As many as you can pick for a fiver, "comes the reply.


"Great, " he says. "I'll have ten quids' worth."

 

[Lander]

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

What was the orchard owner wearing?

 

[Trufflehound]

What type of gate was it?

 

[Lokki 7]

How much for a handjob?

 

[Moshe Gariani]

Bloke walks into an orchard...

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

...and the barman says 'Why the long face?'...

 

[Parson Henry]

He replies I would like some whiskey that horses drink please

 

[SurreySeagulls]

With or without a dash of american ginger ale

 

[Trufflehound]

He replies I would like some whiskey that horses drink please

What? Eric?

 

[Parson Henry]

With or without a dash of american ginger ale

Just then he sees the most beautiful woman sitting next too him at the bar with a turtle on a leash.

 

[Wardy]

So he turns to her and asks

 

[SurreySeagulls]

Maybe a manage et toi

 

[Parson Henry]

Maybe a manage et toi

She says. 'Well why not but fisrt you have to pick the turtle up and....

 

[ali jenkins]

Make it laugh...

 

[Parson Henry]

He says ok and proceeds to shake his....

 

[Lokki 7]

crusty old bollocks in the turtles face. This...

 

[Parson Henry]

failed to do anything to the turtle. Just then a bloke dressed up as Santa Claus rushed in and...

 

[Man of Harveys]

...shouted "is anyone looking after those leppers in the car park?"

 

[seagull@stirling]

"why, they're armless" screamed apoliceman wearing