Joke

[Brighton till i die]

Probably quite old but i dont give a f*** it made me laugh.......

A Jelly Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a Smartie. After a few beers the Smartie says "Ere, a bunch of us are heading to that new club, fancy tagging along?" The Jelly Baby says "No mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in.

So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a hard case, I'll look after you".
Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says "Fair enough, as long as you'll look after me", and off they go.

After a few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie hides under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him with sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls up his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says "I thought you were going to look after me?" "I was!" says Smartie, "I'm a hard case but those Lockets are f***ing menthol!"

 

[Da Man Clay]

 

[Brighton till i die]

good eh!!

 

[Fourteenth Eye]

old..........


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but still funny

 

[Superphil]

2 bits of tarmac are in the pub chatting when in walks a bit of red tarmac. One says to the other, "Watch out for him" "Why?" asked the other, "Cos he's a cyclepath"

 

[rospants]

A dustman is going along the street picking up wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again.



Eventually a Japanese bloke answers. "Harro", says the jappy chappy.



"Alright mate, where's your bin?", asks the dustman.



"I bin on toilet", replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.



Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the bin man smiles and says: "No mate, where's ya dustbin?"



"I dust bin on the toilet, I told you", says the Japanese man.



"Mate", says the dustman, "you're misunderstanding me. Where's your Wheelie bin?"



"OK, OK", says the Jap, "I wheelie bin having a w*nk".

 

[Wardy]

A dustman is going along the street picking up wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again.



Eventually a Japanese bloke answers. "Harro", says the jappy chappy.



"Alright mate, where's your bin?", asks the dustman.



"I bin on toilet", replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.



Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the bin man smiles and says: "No mate, where's ya dustbin?"



"I dust bin on the toilet, I told you", says the Japanese man.



"Mate", says the dustman, "you're misunderstanding me. Where's your Wheelie bin?"



"OK, OK", says the Jap, "I wheelie bin having a w*nk".

That is great

 

[Edward Scissorhands]

A dustman is going along the street picking up wheelie bins and emptying them into his dustcart lorry. He gets to one house where the bin hasn't been left out so he has a quick look for it, goes round the back but still can't see it so he knocks on the door. There's no answer so he knocks again.



Eventually a Japanese bloke answers. "Harro", says the jappy chappy.



"Alright mate, where's your bin?", asks the dustman.



"I bin on toilet", replies the Japanese bloke, looking perplexed.



Realising the Japanese fellow has misunderstood, the bin man smiles and says: "No mate, where's ya dustbin?"



"I dust bin on the toilet, I told you", says the Japanese man.



"Mate", says the dustman, "you're misunderstanding me. Where's your Wheelie bin?"



"OK, OK", says the Jap, "I wheelie bin having a w*nk".