[Misc] Joke Du Jour

[Eeyore]

An Albion fan goes to Selhurst Park for the match and gets very drunk. Somehow he ends up in the Palace end.

He loses all self awareness, and celebrates when Albion score. The two big Palace fans either side of him start grunting and grimacing and he fears for his safety. Finally, one of them says to him 'Go and get me a Bovril'. Thinking this a chance to get away he agrees, but the Palace fan says 'I know you're going to run away, so give me your shoe'. He does so and comes back with the Bovril. The Palace fans gives him his shoe only for him to put it on and find a big shit had been done in it.

Albion score again. This time he doesn't celebrate but the Palace fan to the other side says 'Go and get me a Bovril- and give me your shoe' He agrees in fear, goes and gets the Bovril, and is handed the shoe. There's another shit in that one. 'Put it on....'

Thankfully for him, Palace score two late goals and while the fans are celebrating the last he sneaks out.

As he's walking past Sainsburys a BBC camera crew stop him...

'Hello sir, we are asking people for their experiences at football matches with aggressive and violent opposition fans, do you have any opinions ?' 'Yes I have' he replies, and looks straight into the camera.

'In my opinion football violence in this country will never end. Not until they stop shitting in our shoes....'

'.... and we stop pissing in their Bovril'

 

[Frutos]

I seem to remember Billy Connolly doing that one with Rangers and Celtic.

Less joke du jour, more joke du thirty years ago.

 

[Simster]

As discussed, that is a famous Billy Connolly joke from around 1982.

 

[Eeyore]

As discussed, that is a famous Billy Connolly joke from around 1982.

I seem to remember Billy Connolly doing that one with Rangers and Celtic.

Less joke du jour, more joke du thirty years ago.

I should imagine most are re-cycled.

Well, Joke du Jour will never work until posters stop pissing on people's posts

 

[Flounce]

I should imagine most are re-cycled.

Well, Joke du Jour will never work until posters stop pissing on people's posts

The only reason they do work, which is what you actually meant

 

[Bry Nylon]

As discussed, that is a famous Billy Connolly joke from around 1982.

Good to hear Billy Connolly had a joke about Crystal Palace and Brighton supporters in his repertoire, especially as most of his football-related gags were usually about Celtic and Rangers.

 

[Simster]

Good to hear Billy Connolly had a joke about Crystal Palace and Brighton supporters in his repertoire, especially as most of his football-related gags were usually about Celtic and Rangers.

Probably because Celtic and Rangers is only some bizarre Scottish thing, whereas the Palace Brighton rivalry is world renowned for transcending football and impacts society in general.

 

[Eeyore]

The only reason they do work, which is what you actually meant

I'm always happy for someone to work out what I mean for me. It's always been an issue my end.

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

Would the joke work better if there were two aliens instead?