[Misc] Joke du Jour

[Eeyore]

My dear friend and work colleague has told me he has just done a 'sample' for his bowel cancer testing kit.

He asked if he should send it first class or second class.

I told him to send it turd class.

 

[GT49er]

He should use the Freepost label provided.

 

[hart's shirt]

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

You would think something as serious and time sensitive as bowel cancer testing would have been better handled by having your poor friend attend a clinic for this.

The NHS is really in trouble isn't it?

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Don't use evri. When the shit hits the van....

 

[Man of Harveys]

When I did it they stressed - and who can blame them! - that they only require a very small amount. Hardly a (William) turds worth.

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Results were back in a week for me using the Freepost provided so I would have thought that would render any benefits of paying for your own postage null and void. Although do the NHS get charged for for Freepost if the envelope isn't used? If not then I suppose he is doing his part for saving the NHS money.

It does have to be said though that this is a very important precautionary scan so if he is going to use his own postage method, he should use an actual class of postage and not a weak pun as he needs it to arrive for his own peace of mind.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

You would think something as serious and time sensitive as bowel cancer testing would have been better handled by having your poor friend attend a clinic for this.

The NHS is really in trouble isn't it?

Oh no it isn’t!!!!!

having done this several times Mrs DiS and I are both very happy with it.
it‘s not intrusive in the bottom area, and we like to talk of it as Pooh Sticks, thereby effortlessly transporting us from our dotage (well not quite there yet) to our childhood!

 

[FatSuperman]

This is a shit joke

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Oh no it isn’t!!!!!

having done this several times Mrs DiS and I are both very happy with it.
it‘s not intrusive in the bottom area, and we like to talk of it as Pooh Sticks, thereby effortlessly transporting us from our dotage (well not quite there yet) to our childhood!

Please tell me you posted them back in the envelope provided and didn't take them to Ashdown Forest to drop in a river.

 

[Happy Exile]

I'm concerned that your friend had the kit but it didn't come with clear instructions. Also that they provided the sample before identifying how to return it. I'm no doctor but I imagine there may be some time-sensitivity to the way it's done. This might be crazy, but I'm starting to question whether anything you describe actually happened?

 

[Dick Swiveller]

These are a shit joke

Corrected for you

 

[Insel affe]

My dear friend and work colleague has told me he has just done a 'sample' for his bowel cancer testing kit.

He asked if he should send it first class or second class.

I told him to send it turd class.

I would have told him it's treated the same a summons letter, Hand deliver only.

 

[Brovion]

There is no such postal service as Turd Class. One could argue that the entire postal service is a privatised disgrace and is 'shit', but there is no specific turd class service.

The OP's advice is badly flawed. One might even say it is 'shit'

 

[Jack Straw]

My dear friend and work colleague has told me he has just done a 'sample' for his bowel cancer testing kit.

He asked if he should send it first class or second class.

I told him to send it turd class.

So which one did he choose?

 

[schmunk]

Snail mail? Get with the program grandad.

He should FAX it over.

They even provide a handy paper wipe system for your personal hygiene.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Sounds to me like OP's friend is just going through the motions