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[Humour] Joke du jour



Flounce

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Nov 15, 2006
4,278

Two slightly deaf guys walk into a bar​



One goes and gets a seat while the other orders two pints. "That'll be 30 euro please." Says the barman. "30 euro!" says the deaf guy. "Why is it so expensive?" "We've got live music on tonight" says the barman. "Oh." says the deaf guy. "What kind of music is it? Is it some rock and roll?" "No, it's not rock and roll" "Is it some Jazz?" "No, it's not Jazz" "Is it some Pop?" "No, it's not pop." "Well what is it then?" asks the deaf guy. " two guys and Country and Western“ says the barman. The deaf guy goes back to the table where his friend is sitting. "It was thirty euro for two pints!" he says to his friend. "30 euro!" says his friend. "Why is it so expensive?" "They've got live music on tonight" he replies. "Oh." says the friend. "What kind of music is it? Is it some rock and roll?" "No, it's not rock and roll" "Is it some Jazz?" "No, it's not Jazz" "Is it some Pop?" "No, it's not pop." "Well what is it then?" asks the friend.
"It's two ****s from Westerham”
 








Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,366

Two slightly deaf guys walk into a bar​



One goes and gets a seat while the other orders two pints. "That'll be 30 euro please." Says the barman. "30 euro!" says the deaf guy. "Why is it so expensive?" "We've got live music on tonight" says the barman. "Oh." says the deaf guy. "What kind of music is it? Is it some rock and roll?" "No, it's not rock and roll" "Is it some Jazz?" "No, it's not Jazz" "Is it some Pop?" "No, it's not pop." "Well what is it then?" asks the deaf guy. " two guys and Country and Western“ says the barman. The deaf guy goes back to the table where his friend is sitting. "It was thirty euro for two pints!" he says to his friend. "30 euro!" says his friend. "Why is it so expensive?" "They've got live music on tonight" he replies. "Oh." says the friend. "What kind of music is it? Is it some rock and roll?" "No, it's not rock and roll" "Is it some Jazz?" "No, it's not Jazz" "Is it some Pop?" "No, it's not pop." "Well what is it then?" asks the friend.
"It's two ****s from Westerham”
This might be a first for Joke Du Jour but... TL;DR 😄
 
















Brovion

In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
NSC Patron
Jul 6, 2003
19,878
Was that the same bloke who had jelly, cake, cream and custard coming out of his ears? He was walking along the road one day when a little boy came up to him and said:
"Excuse me mister, why have you got jelly, cake, cream and custard coming out of your ears?"
The bloke replied "You'll have to speak up sonny, I'm a trifle deaf!"
 


Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,947
'two guys and Country and Western' sounds nothing like 'two ****s from Westerham'

I suspect that this is less to do with what he heard and more to do with his opinion.

If the bar person had said 'Some Country & Western' and he had miss-heard it as 'Some c**t from Preston' that would suggest it was more down to hearing impairment. After all, he heard the 30 euros alright.
 






Stato

Well-known member
Dec 21, 2011
7,375
I thought that was going to be an anti country music joke where the barman found out that the blokes were not going to be able to hear the music, so charged them even more for the privilege. I was about to kick off in defence of country music, but having heard the actual punchline, I think that my imagined version may have been better.
 


Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,836
Uffern
Why are you ordering pints and yet paying in euros? This situation is obviously taking place on mainland Europe in which case you would be ordering a beer according the following sizes, for example, cana or doble or stein or grande or piccolo and so forth.
I think you should tell the publicans in Limerick that. I was buying pints and paying in Euros and no-one mentioned dobles or grandes
 




Joey Jo Jo Jr. Shabadoo

I believe in Joe Hendry
Oct 4, 2003
12,097
'two guys and Country and Western' sounds nothing like 'two ****s from Westerham'

I suspect that this is less to do with what he heard and more to do with his opinion.

If the bar person had said 'Some Country & Western' and he had miss-heard it as 'Some c**t from Preston' that would suggest it was more down to hearing impairment. After all, he heard the 30 euros alright.
I was just about to ask if the Country and Western singer had moved as they were from Preston when I were a lad.
 


schmunk

Why oh why oh why?
Jan 19, 2018
10,363
Mid mid mid Sussex
I think you should tell the publicans in Limerick that.

In a cozy Irish pub, so grand,
I ordered a pint, took a stand.
With Euros in hand,
I paid for the brand,
And enjoyed the beer, glass in hand.

From Guinness to Smithwick's, they pour,
Each pint a delight to explore.
But if you're feeling small,
A half-pint is all,
Or a schooner, if you want more.

In Ireland, the beer flows so fine,
With glasses of various design.
From pints to quarts,
And even wee nips,
The choice of size is truly divine.

So raise your glass high in the air,
In Ireland, there's always a share.
With Euros in hand,
You'll find pints so grand,
In the land of hospitality rare.
 


Eeyore

Colonel Hee-Haw of Queen's Park
NSC Patron
Apr 5, 2014
25,947
I was just about to ask if the Country and Western singer had moved as they were from Preston when I were a lad.
Indeed. I first heard of this miss-communication as far back as 1997. I think this deaf person just has a potty mouth meself.
 


studio150

Well-known member
Jul 30, 2011
30,244
On the Border
Why are you ordering pints and yet paying in euros? This situation is obviously taking place on mainland Europe in which case you would be ordering a beer according the following sizes, for example, cana or doble or stein or grande or piccolo and so forth.
Could be in Dublin
 




maltaseagull

Well-known member
Feb 25, 2009
13,365
Zabbar- Malta
Why are you ordering pints and yet paying in euros? This situation is obviously taking place on mainland Europe in which case you would be ordering a beer according the following sizes, for example, cana or doble or stein or grande or piccolo and so forth.
I had a pint of Guinness in Dublin and paid in Euros!:drink::drink:
 


DavidinSouthampton

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jan 3, 2012
17,357
So he understood everything else said to him but not the last line? Totally unbelievable story, the guy should get his hearing aid checked if nothing else.
Being deaf and wearing hearing aids, I find it totally plausible. You hearing people don’t understand…….
 


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