[Humour] Joke Du Jour

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Bono, while playing a U2 gig in Glasgow, got the whole crowd to be silent and then began slowly clapping his hands.

After a short period Bono spoke, saying that every time he clapped his hands a child in Africa died.

Suddenly, a voice broke out in thick Scottish brogue, ending the silence as it echoed across the crowd "Well stop f*cking doing it then!!"

 

[chickens]

Bono, while playing a U2 gig in Glasgow, got the whole crowd to be silent and then began slowly clapping his hands.

After a short period Bono spoke, saying that every time he clapped his hands a child in Africa died.

Suddenly, a voice broke out in thick Scottish brogue, ending the silence as it echoed across the crowd "Well stop f*cking doing it then!!"

I find it difficult to believe that anyone born outside of Glasgow could understand a thick Scottish brogue, so for that reason, I’m out.

 

[Brovion]

I know U2 sold their souls to the devil for success (nothing else can explain it, especially their longevity), but I doubt Satan included the ability to kill children by clapping as part of the deal.

 

[studio150]

This joke is so old, it's probably due a free bus pass.

 

[The Wookiee]

Bono, while playing a U2 gig in Glasgow, got the whole crowd to be silent and then began slowly clapping his hands.

After a short period Bono spoke, saying that every time he clapped his hands a child in Africa died.

Suddenly, a voice broke out in thick Scottish brogue, ending the silence as it echoed across the crowd "Well stop f*cking doing it then!!"

So if he clapped his hands say every two seconds - he would be indicating that 30 African kids would die every minute- that’s some claim - I would want to see some evidence of this before I can take this joke seriously

 

[GT49er]

I find it difficult to believe that anyone born outside of Glasgow could understand a thick Scottish brogue, so for that reason, I’m out.

I honestly find it difficult to believe that some people really can't understand regional accents outside their own area. Anyway, good for the Glasgow bloke pricking the sanctimonious gits bubble!

 

[dsr-burnley]

It was clicking fingers in the version I heard. Just as well, because if it's clapping that causes it, then a thunderous round of applause could decimate the continent.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Listening to some of the dross U2 have come out with, I reckon a lot of those kids heard it and topped themselves

 

[Eeyore]

The audience member has a point. Has this been investigated ?

 

[Questions]

Great joke……… in its day.

 

[Ken Livingstone Seagull]

Bono, while playing a U2 gig in Glasgow, got the whole crowd to be silent and then began slowly clapping his hands.

After a short period Bono spoke, saying that every time he clapped his hands a child in Africa died.

Suddenly, a voice broke out in thick Scottish brogue, ending the silence as it echoed across the crowd "Well stop f*cking doing it then!!"

So what you're REALLY suggesting is they are dying from the Clap? I say "Dubious".

 

[gazingdown]

I remember that gig.

Bono actually fell of the stage.

How did that happen you ask? Well, he got too close to The Edge.

 

[jcdenton08]

I remember that gig.

Bono actually fell of the stage.

How did that happen you ask? Well, he got too close to The Edge.

Oh really? I didn’t hear about this, I hope he wasn’t hurt. Was The Edge also close to the front of the stage? It sounds like quite a dangerous staging set up which hadn’t been appropriately risk assessed.

Also @ManOfSussex de Edge is foine.

 

[hart's shirt]

So what you're REALLY suggesting is they are dying from the Clap? I say "Dubious".

I think that was Eric Clapton.

He had a case of Slowhand Clap.

P.S. Ken, I'm sorry that I missed you reaching the 500 post milestone on NSC after a mere 20 years.
Please be assured that I've already put your 1,000 NSC post celebrations in my 2044 diary.

 

[Baldseagull]

I was hoping for a joke about U2, but I still haven't found what I am looking for.

 

[Brovion]

I was hoping for a joke about U2, but I still haven't found what I am looking for.

The joke about U2 is literally the first post on this thread! Blimey, some people.

 

[The Wookiee]

The joke about U2 is literally the first post on this thread! Blimey, some people.

Don’t be a LEMON - I have no DESIRE to listen to your MYSTERIOUS WAYS - I don’t believe you for ONE minute - WITH OR WITHOUT YOU this thread will continue to HOLD ME & THRILL ME - Have a BEAUTIFUL DAY

 

[Thunder Bolt]

I was hoping for a joke about U2, but I still haven't found what I am looking for.

It’s where the streets have no name.

 

[Baldseagull]

I honestly find it difficult to believe that some people really can't understand regional accents outside their own area. Anyway, good for the Glasgow bloke pricking the sanctimonious gits bubble!

True story. A girl I know, she will be 50 now but was young at the time, met an Irish bloke at a party and asked his name, he said "The Edge", she said "Sorry, I didn't get that" he said " The Edge", she said "Dowage?", he said " No, The Edge!" she said, "Deege?" He said, "you can call me David."
She was a ditzy girl, and he was indeed The Edge.