[Misc] Joke Du Jour

[Simster]

It's all bollocks isn't it.

To be honest @Eeyore, I'm at the stage where I probably won't believe a word you write anymore.

 

[Eeyore]

It's all bollocks isn't it.

To be honest @Eeyore, I'm at the stage where I probably won't believe a word you write anymore.

I've got myself on 'Ignore'.

 

[zefarelly]

Water weevils are a bit wriggly, almost like . . . . fish.

I'm really scaling the heights with my flakey posts now.

 

[jcdenton08]

A return to form for the Joke du Jour thread. There’s literally no point to these threads without po-faced replies

 

[North of Robertsbridge]

Weevil
Weevil
Rock you

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

I've got myself on 'Ignore'.

Hats off. That is very funny.

 

[crodonilson]

Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me sir will you get us 20 Richmond, please, they wont serve us!" So I agreed to do it anyway, thinking that's my good deed done for the day.
Anyway I've gone in and got them and when I handed them over they started effing and jeffing at me! If that’s what good deeds get you with the young folk of today, They can get their own feckin sausages next time.

 

[Eeyore]

Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me sir will you get us 20 Richmond, please, they wont serve us!" So I agreed to do it anyway, thinking that's my good deed done for the day.
Anyway I've gone in and got them and when I handed them over they started effing and jeffing at me! If that’s what good deeds get you with the young folk of today, They can get their own feckin sausages next time.

One joke you can easily work out the punchline before reaching the end. 0/10

 

[Simster]

Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me sir will you get us 20 Richmond, please, they wont serve us!" So I agreed to do it anyway, thinking that's my good deed done for the day.
Anyway I've gone in and got them and when I handed them over they started effing and jeffing at me! If that’s what good deeds get you with the young folk of today, They can get their own feckin sausages next time.

The punchline here is obvious as soon as you read the word "Richmond".

 

[AmexRuislip]

Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me sir will you get us 20 Richmond, please, they wont serve us!" So I agreed to do it anyway, thinking that's my good deed done for the day.
Anyway I've gone in and got them and when I handed them over they started effing and jeffing at me! If that’s what good deeds get you with the young folk of today, They can get their own feckin sausages next time.

Richmond aren't very good smokers.

 

[Bry Nylon]

The punchline here is obvious as soon as you read the word "Richmond".

Plus Richmond sausages are sold in packets of 8. So the closest number available to the 20 requested would have been either 16 or 24. So frankly I don’t believe this happened at all and Crodo has simply made the whole thing up.

 

[Winker]

Nope, never heard of a Richmond sausage (or a Richmond cigarette come to thin of it). Had there been a No.6 or Benson & Hedges sausage then I would have pissed myself laughing.

 

[jackanada]

Plus Richmond sausages are sold in packets of 8. So the closest number available to the 20 requested would have been either 16 or 24. So frankly I don’t believe this happened at all and Crodo has simply made the whole thing up.

 

[Barnet Seagull]

Yes, but what's the difference between a kidney bean and a chickpea?

 

[jackanada]

Just come back from Asda. There was a group of teenagers outside like "excuse me sir

This is as far as I can read before you lose credibility. "Oi mister" is surely the maximum attainable level of politeness.
However given your knowledge of the minutae of branded sausage pack quantities I'm prepared to accept you might just be trying to improve the telling.