[Humour] Joke du jour

[1066familyman]

just got back from the shops, I was looking for a pair of camouflage pants, but I couldn't find any.

I went in the same shop to buy 6 cans of Sprite, but I picked 7 up instead

 

[1066familyman]

Do you have ownership documents?

Not on me, no.
When would you like them submitted?

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

Why didn’t the school kids take the bus to school? It wouldn’t fit through the door.

Assuming one of them had the relevant driving licence, they could have parked it in the playground. That would surely count.

 

[schmunk]

I went in the same shop to buy 6 cans of Sprite, but I picked 7 up instead

I sent my son out to the shop to "get a bottle of milk and, if they have eggs, get a dozen".

He returned with 13 bottles of milk.

"They had eggs".

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

I phoned the local ramblers association to enquire about joining.

The woman who answered went on and on and on ......

 

[Muzzman]

It’s been a challenge, but I finally managed to weigh a rainbow…

… turns out it’s pretty light.

 

[Brovion]

I'm not a bank employee.

Maybe you should ask why she actually asked me to check her balance rather than the people behind the counter.

Although to be honest, I didn't even go to the bank the other day. I made it up.

I didn't believe you anyway.

There aren't banks in the high street any more.

 

[Brovion]

I went to the bank yesterday, then walked across to another bank. I got wet feet.



THEY WERE RIVER BANKS!!!

A man walked into a bar.
"Ouch!"
It was an iron bar.

(And you were VERY lucky that the river was shallow enough for you to walk across. Some rivers are deep and fast flowing and you could have been drowned. Please take more care in future).

 

[Simster]

I sent my son out to the shop to "get a bottle of milk and, if they have eggs, get a dozen".

He returned with 13 bottles of milk.

"They had eggs".

This actually sounds like something my eldest son would have really done when he was a teenager.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

What’s a Greek urn?
about £30 a week.

Morecambe and Wise about 40 or 50 years ago, but I thought it relevant today.

 

[Mr Bridger]

What’s a Greek urn?
about £30 a week.

Morecambe and Wise about 40 or 50 years ago, but I thought it relevant today.

Why, they still on £30 a week?

 

[Davidg1957]

What’s a Greek urn?
about £30 a week.

Morecambe and Wise about 40 or 50 years ago, but I thought it relevant today.

Agree that has to be the joke de this particular jour.

That’s inflation for you, it was 3 drachmas a week originally.

 

[schmunk]

Surely Greeks are paid in Euros these days?

 

[Jack Straw]

I have a pet Newt.
I call him Tiny.
Because he's my Newt.

If it dies, will you have a my newt's silence?