[Humour] Joke du Jour

[Blatter]

Olaf from Oslo was in the supermarket, when he saw an old lady in a wheelchair almost in tears.

"What is the matter"? asks Olaf

"Oh", sobs the old lady, "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings, but as you see, there are three steps down to the chiller cabinets"

"No problem", says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you." And he strolls though the chiller section, with her on his back and she selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.

At the entrance the ladys husband is waiting for her. "You've been rather a long time." he says

And she relates the story to him, as Olaf puts her back in her wheelchair

"I would like to thank you," she says to him "What is your name?"

Olaf just waves and walks off.

Later that day she was still smiling about his kind actions and a friend asks her why.

She replies; "I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."

 

[seagullwedgee]

But his name is Olaf, no?

 

[Algernon]

But his name is Olaf, no?

We're never told his surname.

 

[Goldstone1976]

We know that Olaf is from Norway because the narrator told us so, but how did the old lady know?

Also, why did Olaf take her to the chiller section when she clearly stated she wanted frozen products. To not take her to the freezer section is just downright sadistic.

#OlafOut

 

[Acker79]

Why has this supermarket not catered to people with mobility issues? That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.

 

[Baldseagull]

I have 3 musical punchline jokes in my back catalogue, but that is a new one on me.

 

[Questions]

I thought he was going to shag her and then leave her on the park railings…

 

[timbha]

Did Olaf make her cry?

para 5 - shouldn't ladys have an apostrophe, ie lady's?

 

[Icy Gull]

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying Mike visits him every day. On one of the visits Mike says;

"Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played Sunday football together for many years. Please do me a favour. When you get to Heaven, you must let me know if there's football up there."

Joe looks up from his death bed and says, "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible I'll do this for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passed on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,"

"Mike--Mike." The voice cried.

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly.

The voice said--"It's me, Joe."

"You can't be Joe, he just died."

"I'm telling you the truth, it's me Joe," insists the voice."

Mike said, "Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Mike.

"The good news," Joe said," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we want and never get tired."

"Bloodyhell," said Mike. "That''s beyond my wildest dreams! But what's the bad news?

..."You're playing on Tuesday."

 

[Jack Straw]

If the lady paid with a Nationwide debit card, she will get 5% back.

 

[Bodian]

Olaf is mainly a Norwegian name - the Swedish equivalent is Olov or Olof. Are you sure he came from Oslo?

 

[Man of Harveys]

I thought he was going to grab hold of HER puddings.

 

[birthofanorange]

Only in America, eh?

 

[B-right-on]

Olaf eh?

 

[Super Steve Earle]

Two 90 year old men, Mike and Joe, have been friends all of their lives.
When it's clear that Joe is dying Mike visits him every day. On one of the visits Mike says;

"Joe, we both loved football all our lives, and we played Sunday football together for many years. Please do me a favour. When you get to Heaven, you must let me know if there's football up there."

Joe looks up from his death bed and says, "Mike, you've been my best friend for many years. If it's at all possible I'll do this for you.

Shortly after that, Joe passed on.

At midnight a couple of nights later, Mike is awakened from a sound sleep by a blinding flash of white light and a voice calling out to him,"

"Mike--Mike." The voice cried.

"Who is it? asks Mike sitting up suddenly.

The voice said--"It's me, Joe."

"You can't be Joe, he just died."

"I'm telling you the truth, it's me Joe," insists the voice."

Mike said, "Where are you?"

"In heaven", replies Joe. "I have some really good news and a little bad news."

"Tell me the good news first," said Mike.

"The good news," Joe said," is that there's football in heaven. Better yet, all of our old friends who died before us are here, too. Better than that, we're all young again. Better still, it's always spring time and it never rains or snows. And best of all, we can play football all we want and never get tired."

"Bloodyhell," said Mike. "That''s beyond my wildest dreams! But what's the bad news?

..."You're playing on Tuesday."

I think you have missed the point of the Joke du Jour thread, but kudos for making me laugh out loud.

 

[BN9 BHA]

I think you have missed the point of the Joke du Jour thread, but kudos for making me laugh out loud.

I’m howling, best one I’ve heard for a while

 

[Pavilionaire]

We know that Olaf is from Norway because the narrator told us so, but how did the old lady know?

Statistically, Sweden has twice the population of Norway so if her husband had insisted on her naming a specific Scandinavian country of origin then a more probable option - though an incorrect one as it turns out - is for her to have said "I've been through the sweets with a Swede with no name"