[Humour] Joke du Jour

[METALMICKY]

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said "Thanks."

I said "Don't mention it."


NSC do your worst!

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

An odd present but a nice gesture I'm sure.

 

[Knocky's Nose]

A solid 6/10.

 

[KZNSeagull]

That's just cruel. Elephants require masses of open space to roam around in. The RSPCA have been alerted.

 

[Popeye]

A weasel walks in to a bar.

'Wow', says the bartender. 'I've never served a weasel before. What I can get you?'

'Pop' goes the weasel.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

A weasel walks in to a bar.

'Wow', says the bartender. 'I've never served a weasel before. What I can get you?'

'Pop' goes the weasel.

Go to your room

 

[Popeye]

You gotta hand it to blind prostitutes.

 

[Winker]

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said "Thanks."

I said "Don't mention it."


NSC do your worst!

African or Asian, I 'ear there's a difference.

 

[Goldstone1976]

I can’t think of a single friend of mine who’d thank me if I bought them an elephant and expected them to keep it inside. It’s much more likely I’d get a reaction along the lines of ‘WTAF?! You’ve seen the size of my house, it’ll take up literally all the free space. And who’s going to pay for all the bananas, and clear up all its shit? I tell you who: you are, you absolute grade A tosspot’

You either have friends with much bigger houses than my friends have, or your friends are far more tolerant than mine. Or both.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I can’t think of a single friend of mine who’d thank me if I bought them an elephant and expected them to keep it inside. It’s much more likely I’d get a reaction along the lines of ‘WTAF?! You’ve seen the size of my house, it’ll take up literally all the free space. And who’s going to pay for all the bananas, and clear up all its shit? I tell you who: you are, you absolute grade A tosspot’

You either have friends with much bigger houses than my friends have, or your friends are far more tolerant than mine. Or both.

Can't you just keep it in your garden?

 

[Gazwag]

Go to your room

He can't somebodies put a bloody big elephant in it

 

[Jack Straw]

Did you buy it from Coombs in Baker Street? I got my first hamster from there.

 

[Sarisbury Seagull]

I just don’t see how this is practical for your friend. Has he room in his house? Is he now going to need to move house and uproot his life just to accommodate this large animal.

Surely just adopting an elephant would have been a far more appropriate gift?

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Did you buy it from Coombs in Baker Street? I got my first hamster from there.

Coombs has really gone downhill nowadays, based on my recent visit

Me: "I'd like to buy a wasp please"
Coombs: "I'm sorry sir, we don't sell wasps"
Me: "There's one in your window"

 

[Bry Nylon]

Coombs has really gone downhill nowadays, based on my recent visit

Me: "I'd like to buy a wasp please"
Coombs: "I'm sorry sir, we don't sell wasps"
Me: "There's one in your window"

I went in there the other week too.

Me: “I’d like to buy a goldfish.”
Assistant: “Would you like an aquarium?”
Me: “I don’t really care what star sign it is.”

 

[Tony Towner's Fridge]

Coombs has really gone downhill nowadays, based on my recent visit

Me: "I'd like to buy a wasp please"
Coombs: "I'm sorry sir, we don't sell wasps"
Me: "There's one in your window"

Still a classic after all these years!


TNBA


TTF

 

[el punal]

I bought my friend an elephant for his room.

He said "Thanks."

I said "Don't mention it."


NSC do your worst!

I suggest you pack your trunk and leave!

 

[The Clamp]

Just ask the elephant to leave. He won’t be offended, very thick skin.