[Humour] Joke du Jour

[AmexRuislip]

My friend said to me, "Thanks for lending me the Fight Club DVD!"

I replied, "Don't mention it."









I'll get my coat..........

 

[Bry Nylon]

I asked a friend if I could borrow Batman Forever. He said ideally he’d like it back by next Friday.

 

[Bry Nylon]

We could do a 2 man show at Edinburgh this summer

 

[AmexRuislip]

We could do a 2 man show at Edinburgh this summer

Why not, I'm game

 

[Questions]

Why not, I'm game

Deer

 

[timbha]

Scotland’s World Cup hopes

 

[PeterT]

Scotland’s World Cup hopes

That was a great thing they did tonight, stepping aside without a fight for the greater good. Plenty wouldn’t have in the same situation.

 

[timbha]

That was a great thing they did tonight, stepping aside without a fight for the greater good. Plenty wouldn’t have in the same situation.

Especially when they had the audacity to score and make the score 2-1, they duly played “next goal wins” and gifted Ukraine numerous chances whilst not bothering to shoot

 

[Gazwag]

Why not, I'm game

I said to my bird "you game"
"Yeah" she said
So I shot her

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Why not, I'm game

I have a game bird shooting license.

Duck!

 

[Questions]

Hey any of you dudes ever jugged a hare ?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

What's the difference between a Glaswegian and Walt Disney?

A Glaswegian likes deep fried Mars Bars.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

My friend said to me, "Thanks for lending me the Fight Club DVD!"

I replied, "Don't mention it."









I'll get my coat..........

I don't get it?

 

[Coldeanseagull]

I asked a friend if I could borrow Batman Forever. He said ideally he’d like it back by next Friday.

I don't get this either?

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

And still no one’s done the ‘Guy rents The Never Ending Story from his local video store’ gag yet.

 

[AmexRuislip]

I don't get it?

Fight club

 

[Stat Brother]

We could do a 2 man show at Edinburgh this summer

I'd be surprised if the audience was that substantial.

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

Two Kirkby ‘girls’ sealing in a window frame, one says to the other: “Appreciate you helping me out with this, hen.” Her friend replies: “Well I wasn’t going to let you caulk alone.”

 

[Weststander]

Not a joke as such, but I laughed to myself in our hotel breakfast room today (in Bath). Sitting near a brash American who asked for a “Coffee to go”. The foreign waiter didn’t have a clue, despite increasing volume from the Yank.

Reminded me of:

 

[Coldeanseagull]

I asked a friend if I could borrow Batman Forever. He said ideally he’d like it back by next Friday.

Oh yeah, I get it now!
Still don't get the fight club one