[Humour] Joke Du Jour.

[Jack Straw]

I was going to change my hair colour today, but I changed my mind at the last minute.
I nearly dyed.

 

[Dick Swiveller]

Wise choice. The Jack Straw double work would have dried up. Glad you came to your senses.

Now wash your hands and make me a bacon sandwich.

 

[essbee1]

I was going to change my hair colour today, but I changed my mind at the last minute.
I nearly dyed.

Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack <last one emphasized>.

That's all.

 

[Giraffe]

The amount of time you used to spend up a ladder like a peeping Tom I'm surprised you have got any hair.

 

[Taybha]

Booooooo gerim orf

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

A priest, a imam and a rabbit walked into a hospital to donate blood.
'What blood group are you?' asked the nurse.

I think I'm a type O said the rabbit

 

[hart's shirt]

I was going to change my hair colour today, but I changed my mind at the last minute.
I nearly dyed.

'Uncertainty, Anxiety, Indecision, and Procrastination'

You can’t avoid unknowns and uncertainties. These conditions are as much a part of life as are death and taxes. You can’t accurately know the future or outcome of your efforts to unravel uncertainties. However, you can predict what you can and will do to overcome your fears of uncertainty.

How you approach conditions of uncertainty suggests whether you feel threatened or challenged. Let’s say that you see gaining clarity as a challenge. If your actions lead to clarity, that is a positive result.

If you see many conditions of uncertainty as threatening to your stability, you might feel anxious over uncertainty. Anxiety over uncertainty is more than feeling apprehensive about something you haven’t tried before, or wariness about venturing into unfamiliar territory. Persistent anxiety over uncertainty drains time and resources without yielding healthy benefits. This state of thought, feelings, and action is a catalyst for inhibitions or impulsive decisions.

Five Proactive Coping Steps

In proactive coping, you prepare yourself to cope in order to reduce, prevent, or intervene to curb anxiety over uncertainty. Here are some sample proactive coping steps:

Step 1: In upcoming situations, where your information is incomplete, accept ambiguity and uncertainty as a natural part of living and learning. You won't see the complete picture until you engage the challenge. You’ll learn more by taking action than by waiting for a guarantee.

Step 2: Decide what, when, and how you'll proactively cope. Pick your most pressing area where you risk acting indecisively. That’s your "what." Pick a time to start proactively coping. That’s your "when." Identify what you'll do first, and then what you’ll do next. This is the "how." Plan to adjust what you do as you go.

Step 3: Think about high probability things that can get in your way, such as anxiety thinking where you tell yourself that you can’t cope with uncertainty. Come up with a plan for each impediment. Then test the plan against reality. For example, one way to combat anxiety over uncertainty is to make an uncertainty estimate. Ask yourself, what is the probability of one thing happening over another? If you don’t have an answer, then ask another question: “What healthy purpose is served by tormenting myself over something that will take time to understand?” (Hint, there is probably no healthy purpose.)

Step 4: Build momentum for resolving uncertainties by intentionally engaging in meaningful problems that have complexities and unknowns. Anything reasonable where the process and outcome are in doubt will do. Decide where you’ll start, then start (you have to take the first step before you can take a second).

Step 5: Remind yourself that you are doing this exercise to train yourself to stop hesitating, develop a factual basis for deciding new steps to reduce uncertainty, and get yourself out of a procrastination trap.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/science-and-sensibility/201308/uncertainty-anxiety-indecision-and-procrastination

 

[Coldeanseagull]

A priest, a imam and a rabbit walked into a hospital to donate blood.
'What blood group are you?' asked the nurse.

I think I'm a type O said the rabbit

Had to read it twice, but really made me chuckle when i got it. best one for ages

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

I was going to change my hair colour today, but I changed my mind at the last minute.
I nearly dyed.

That joke's older than Grecian 2000

 

[Guinness Boy]

A priest, a imam and a rabbit walked into a hospital to donate blood.
'What blood group are you?' asked the nurse.

I think I'm a type O said the rabbit

*mild applause*

 

[Is it PotG?]

A priest, a imam and a rabbit walked into a hospital to donate blood.
'What blood group are you?' asked the nurse.

I think I'm a type O said the rabbit

Surely you mean a rabbi.

Spelling error there.

 

[Neville's Breakfast]

A priest, a imam and a rabbit walked into a hospital to donate blood.
'What blood group are you?' asked the nurse.

I think I'm a type O said the rabbit

Now that’s the joke du jour. Sorry OP

 

[Muhammad - I’m hard - Bruce Lee]

Surely you mean a rabbi.

Spelling error there.

You know what they say, if you have to explain a joke then it's not a very good joke

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

You know what they say, if you have to explain a joke then it's not a very good joke

You'll be disappointed with that effort

 

[Mr Bridger]

Someone has stolen all the bus stop signs round my way.
Honestly, where do these people get off?

 

[Jack Straw]

Now that’s the joke du jour. Sorry OP

I can't disagree!

 

[Thunder Bolt]

You know what they say, if you have to explain a joke then it's not a very good joke

He knows. He's a silly one.

 

[DavidRyder]

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

No, I haven't heard about him. I hope he gets the help he needs.

 

[Russconha]

Did you hear the one about the short sighted rabbi?

He got the sack.