Joke du jour...

[Goldstone1976]

A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his
mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.
A female student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.
"Nurse", he mumbles, "Are my testicles black?"
Embarrassed, the nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir, I'm only here to wash
your upper body and feet.
He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, are my testicles black?
Concerned that he is getting agitated, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers.
She raises his gown, holds his penis in one and and his testicles in the
other, lifting and moving them around.
Then, she takes a close look and says, "There's nothing wrong with them Sir!!"
The patient pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her and says "Thank you very much. That was wonderful, but, listen very, very closely... "Are - my - test - results - back?"

 

[Pavilionaire]

It's asking a bit much of the NHS to have already analysed the results of the operation even before his anaesthetic has worn off. Who DOES he think he is?

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Would a still sedated patient be subjected to horizontal ablutions, a delay until fully conscious would be more appropriate Shirley?

Additionally, why use only part of a sponge?

 

[Flex Your Head]

When you say she "appeared" to give him a sponge bath, did she or did she not?

 

[Titanic]

Lucky he wasn't asking her to remove his spectacles!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

To be honest, if she finds the human body embarrassing, she's probably in the wrong profession.

I query her hearing as well. the two phrases are unlikely to be confused by someone with decent hearing, even allowing for the muffling effect of the mask.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

You say he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" but then later claimed he mumbled something else. Seems to me a case for some kind of sexual abuse if he did ask her to look at his manhood. He certainly has some questions to answer in my opinion

 

[Titanic]

She raises his gown, holds his penis in one and and his testicles in the other, lifting and moving them around.

Has she got three hands?

 

[hans kraay fan club]

You say he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" but then later claimed he mumbled something else. Seems to me a case for some kind of sexual abuse if he did ask her to look at his manhood. He certainly has some questions to answer in my opinion

I think she's rather hiding behind the flimsy "Oh, I mis-heard" excuse. If anyone is guilty of a SEX CRIME here, its the nurse.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

I think she's rather hiding behind the flimsy "Oh, I mis-heard" excuse. If anyone is guilty of a SEX CRIME here, its the nurse.

It doesn't say she's misheard. It is claimed that that is what he said. You need to read it again

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Both parties, when this arrives before a Jury, might head off along the 'still under anaesthetic' and a 'bit woozy' route.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

It doesn't say she's misheard. It is claimed that that is what he said. You need to read it again

That's a fair argument, tbh. Perhaps it is actually the OP that has got it wrong.

What was he doing there to witness this unfortunate series of events anyway? In an adjacent bed on the ward? Some kind of voyeuristic perv?

 

[Titanic]

Both parties, when this arrives before a Jury, might head off along the 'still under anaesthetic' and a 'bit woozy' route.

Since when was 'being a bit woozy' a legitimate excuse for committing a criminal offence?

 

[Prince Monolulu]

Since when was 'being a bit woozy' a legitimate excuse for committing a criminal offence?

Clarity of recalling the facts, precise actions, tenderness of touch and reliability of any conversations regarding consent.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Has she got three hands?

Or even FOUR. If any one of the items listed requires the use of two hands to handle. Which can happen.

 

[MattBackHome]

It doesn't say she's misheard. It is claimed that that is what he said. You need to read it again

He was probably still delirious as a result of the anaesthetic. Plausible enough reasonable doubt to aquit I reckon.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Was this on the NHS or private? If NHS it was surely too soon for the little peasant to be getting a bed bath, let alone a hand job.

 

[Stumpy Tim]

He was probably still delirious as a result of the anaesthetic. Plausible enough reasonable doubt to aquit I reckon.

That's for the CPS to decide.

 

[Simster]

That's for the CPS to decide.

Yes some very careless on this thread. [MENTION=6886]Bozza[/MENTION], you might want to move this over to "Other Stuff". Lots of hearsay and other uncorroborated stuff on here. MattBackHome, you really should wait for the FACTS before coming out with ignorant points of view like this.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

What rationale would a nurse have for only washing a patients face and feet? I have been a registered nurse for many years and cannot think of a circumstance where that would constitute holistic patient care.

The business with the bollocks is irrelevant.