Joke du jour

[captainmorganrum]

Late last Saturday night, a young chap was walking home from the pub.

It was a cold, wet, windy evening, and he was tired and freezing. Most

Of the streetlights in the area were broken, and the silence was only

Broken by the occasional sound of a stray cat sifting through a

Dustbin. Suddenly he heard a strange noise ...




BUMP........





BUMP.........




BUMP........





Startled, he turned around. To his amazement, through the driving rain

He saw the faint outline of a large box turning into his road.






BUMP........








BUMP........








BUMP........







He froze to the spot. He couldn't believe his eyes. As the box

Approached from the shadows, he was able to make out its shape more

Clearly. It was a coffin. Not wanting anything to do with this, he put

His head down and started walking briskly home.









BUMP........






BUMP........





BUMP.........







The coffin was gaining on him. He started walking faster.........




BUMP.... BUMP.......





BUMP........BUMP.......






BUMP........BUMP........




The coffin was closing with his every step. He started to jog, but he

Heard the coffin speed up after him ...



BUMP... BUMP.... BUMP...



BUMP.... BUMP... BUMP...




BUMP... BUMP... BUMP...




He started to sprint, but so did the coffin .......





BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....




BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP......

BUMP... BUMP... BUMP... BUMP.....




Eventually he made it to his front door, but he knew the coffin was

Only seconds behind. Fumbling around in his pocket, he pulled out his

Keys, His hand trembling, he managed to open the lock. He dived inside,

Slamming the front door behind him. He shot into his front room, and

Slumped into his comfy chair.








Suddenly there was a loud crash, as the coffin smashed its way through

The front door. The force of the impact broke the lock off the coffin

Allowing the lid to swing freely on its rusty hinges as it continued

Its chase ..






BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...







BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...






BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...






BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...









In horror the young lad fled again, as fast as his shaking legs could

Take him. He bolted upstairs to the bathroom and locked the door ...






BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...






BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...






BUMP... SCREECH .. HOP... BUMP... SCREECH ... HOP...



The coffin again gave chase up the stairs, across the landing and


Launched itself at the bathroom door. With an almighty smash, the

Bathroom door flew off its hinges ...






The coffin stood in the doorway, then started to approach the young

Terrified lad.





BUMP.... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...




BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...




BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...





In a last ditch attempt to save his skin, he reached for his bathroom

Cabinet ... He grabbed a bar of Imperial Leather soap and threw it at

The coffin ... still it came ........




BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...


He grabbed his can of Lynx deodorant and threw it ... still it

Came.......





BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...





He grabbed his first aid kit and threw it ... still it came......





BUMP... SCREECH .. BUMP... SCREECH...






He grabbed some Benylin cough mixture and threw it ...







The coffin stopped.

 

[Easy 10]

Piss poor.

But the delivery was SUPERB.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

That's so old I think Jesus first told it

 

[Stinkers Bridge]

How did he dispose of the coffin? I don't expect the council would have taken it.

 

[Pavilionaire]

The size of the joke was inverse in proportion to the laughter achieved.

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

The size of the joke was inverse in proportion to the laughter achieved.

Yes, I believe you are referring to "Bores Law" in relation to Jokes

The funniness of the joke is proportional and opposite to the amount of time it needs to read it, provided the will to live remains constant

 

[Trufflehound]

That's so old I think Jesus first told it

I believe the original was transcribed on the Dead Sea Scrolls.

 

[Hatterlovesbrighton]

Piss poor.

But the delivery was SUPERB.

Have to agree with that. Shows potential if given better material.

 

[csider]

The size of the joke was inverse in proportion to the laughter achieved.

Word.

 

[Withdean Wanderer]

That's great - one of those "so shit it's good" jokes - the length of it makes this especially so!