fat old seagull
New member
Can we have some jokes to lift the Feckin gloom please.
This arrived in my 'IN BOX' yesterday. And made me chortle.....
Adjutant Smithers
In the great, great and heady days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to an African jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement, and performing the usual courtesies that protocol decrees, Gin and Tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he's my right-hand man, he really is the strength of this office. His talents are simply boundless, jolly good egg in fact."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was taken aback and more than a little surprised to meet a humpbacked, one eyed, bald, toothless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall, who lurched awkwardly toward them. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself" boomed the Colonel.
"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and after three insertions behind enemy lines I was awarded the Military Cross and Bar, I've represented Great Britain in various equestrian events, captained the England hockey team and won a Boxing Silver Medal as a middleweight in the Summer Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, the CO will find all that in your file............. But do tell him about the day you decided to tell the Witch Doctor to f*ck off."
This arrived in my 'IN BOX' yesterday. And made me chortle.....
Adjutant Smithers
In the great, great and heady days of the British Empire, a new commanding officer was sent to an African jungle outpost to relieve the retiring colonel.
After welcoming his replacement, and performing the usual courtesies that protocol decrees, Gin and Tonic, cucumber sandwiches etc, the retiring colonel said, "You must meet my Adjutant, Captain Smithers, he's my right-hand man, he really is the strength of this office. His talents are simply boundless, jolly good egg in fact."
Smithers was summoned and introduced to the new CO, who was taken aback and more than a little surprised to meet a humpbacked, one eyed, bald, toothless, scabbed and pockmarked specimen of humanity, a particularly unattractive man less than three feet tall, who lurched awkwardly toward them. "Smithers, old man, tell your new CO about yourself" boomed the Colonel.
"Well, sir, I graduated with honours from Sandhurst, joined the regiment and after three insertions behind enemy lines I was awarded the Military Cross and Bar, I've represented Great Britain in various equestrian events, captained the England hockey team and won a Boxing Silver Medal as a middleweight in the Summer Olympics. I have researched the history of....."
Here the colonel interrupted, "Yes, yes, never mind all that Smithers, the CO will find all that in your file............. But do tell him about the day you decided to tell the Witch Doctor to f*ck off."
