[Humour] Joke Du Jour 12/12/2017

[Trufflehound]

As above, a biro owning it would work......just.

He's not from Biroghton.

 

[chucky1973]

I should of stopped after reading the joke. I didn't and regret that now. That's 10 mins I have just lost that I can never get back.
And an other 4 mins of single index finger typing this message.

So I am going to stop now.
(that's another 2 mins)
and another 1 min for typing that
and....stop now

 

[DavidRyder]

This thread is in need of some Alan - he knows his onions (comedy-wise).

 

[Questions]

A permanent marker to a bad joke de jour thread.

I think for older posters there is a Berol the Peril joke in here somewhere.

 

[Hyperion]

Presumably, this television has an LED display?

 

[Trufflehound]

Just a bit of cultural reference for those of you who think NSC invented the hilarious pencil gag:

[yt]lnn-AVexPvQ[/yt]

 

[StonehamPark]

Sylvania makes televisions.

http://sylvania.curtisint.com/product-category/television

Not totally obscure at all.
Great joke.

 

[maltaseagull]

Sylvania makes televisions.

http://sylvania.curtisint.com/product-category/television

It may just have been amusing if one had heard of this company.
I haven't and it wasn't.

 

[Dorset Seagull]

(Cough. That's the point of "Joke du Jour"...)

On the contrary most jokes on JDJ are quite amusing as are the follow ups. This thread fails on both counts. ( and yes there is a dracula joke in there somewhere but it wasn't intentional )

 

[LlcoolJ]

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are travelling through Europe in their car. They get to Transylvania and are stopped at a traffic light.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, a tiny, little Dracula jumps on the bonnet of the car and hisses through the windscreen.

"Quick, quick!" shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"

"Turn the windscreen wipers on. That will get rid of the abomination", says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking Dracula about, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "What shall I do now?" she shouts.

"Switch on the windscreen washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican," says Sister Helen.

Sister Catherine turns on the windscreen washer. Dracula screams as the water burns his skin, but he clings on and continues hissing at the nuns. "NOW what?" shouts Sister Catherine?

"Show him your cross!" says Sister Helen, quickly.

"Now you're talking," says Sister Catherine. She opens the window and shouts,

"Get off the f***ing the car you little c***!"

 

[Titanic]

That should be "you're cross"...YOU'RE

 

[LlcoolJ]

That should be "you're cross"...YOU'RE

No it shouldn't. The point of the joke is the misunderstanding so I think you'll find that the punctuation is correct!

 

[Titanic]

Oh! it's a joke?

 

[LlcoolJ]

Oh! it's a joke?

Unlike the OP, yes.

 

[1066familyman]

Oh! it's a joke?

 

[pauli cee]

Any word on the condition of his Italian friend, Pauli?

i'm good thanks