[Humour] Joke de Jour

[shingle]

A Penguin is driving his car and it breaks down, so he takes it to the local garage for a repair. Meanwhile he walks off whilst the garage has a look at it, he has a 99 ice cream and returns to the garage some time later for an update, he sticks his head around the corner and says to the mechanic ''is everything ok'' to which the mechanic says no, you've just blown a seal, to which the Penguin says, no, it's me ice cream.

 

[Wellesley]

Are you trying to be funny?

 

[SweatyMexican]

99 ice cream? I remember the days. They're about a fiver now.

 

[Stat Brother]

How would a chocolate bar drive a car?

 

[KZNSeagull]

This is an incredibly flakey joke.

 

[Is it PotG?]

What a snowflake.

 

[TugWilson]

One of my favourite jokes ruined ......ahhemm..if i may .

An Eskimo on a camping holiday in Wales and his camper van breaks down , along comes a local who ask`s if he needs help , the local after a couple of minutes inspecting the engine looks at the Eskimo and say`s you`ve blown a seal , without missing a beat the Eskimo replies and you shag sheep !

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

99 ice cream? I remember the days. They're about a fiver now.

I don’t understand how the penguin would be able to drive a car, given that it’s backbone is such that it would be impossible for it to sit and reach the pedals at the same time. I don’t therefore believe this incident happened.

 

[METALMICKY]

Good job he didn't have the flake as he'd be accused of a Dirty Sanchez too!

 

[Winker]

Local garage? Is there more than one garage in Antarctica? Who knew?

 

[GT49er]

99 ice cream? I remember the days. They're about a fiver now.

Don't talk to me about f*kc*n' 99s! I invented them - and got beaten up by other kids for my trouble.......
"Ugh, he's stuck a chocolate bar into hs ice cream cone - he's a weirdo - he's different - beat him up......."
Life in Polegate in the mid 50s was pretty brutal!

 

[Jack Straw]

I don’t understand how the penguin would be able to drive a car, given that it’s backbone is such that it would be impossible for it to sit and reach the pedals at the same time. I don’t therefore believe this incident happened.

Exactly. And even if the penguin's feet did reach the pedals, how would he grip the steering-wheel with those flappy wing things, never mind turn on the ignition.

 

[GT49er]

Exactly. And even if the penguin's feet did reach the pedals, how would he grip the steering-wheel with those flappy wing things, never mind turn on the ignition.

They can do some pretty impressive conversion for the ability challenged these days. I have first hand knowledge of a van driver with no arms. It was 20 years ago, but he was certainly doing a good job back then - maybe still is.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

They can do some pretty impressive conversion for the ability challenged these days. I have first hand knowledge of a van driver with no arms. It was 20 years ago, but he was certainly doing a good job back then - maybe still is.

I knew someone with no arms or legs who used to do long distance swimming. He was a clever dick.

 

[Jack Straw]

They can do some pretty impressive conversion for the ability challenged these days. I have first hand knowledge of a van driver with no arms. It was 20 years ago, but he was certainly doing a good job back then - maybe still is.

They can indeed, but where would a penguin get the money from to pay for the conversion, or would they qualify for a grant?

 

[GT49er]

They can indeed, but where would a penguin get the money from to pay for the conversion, or would they qualify for a grant?

Don't get me started on where some people (or penguins) can get a grant/benefit/allowance and others can't!

 

[Bodian]

He was a very unlucky penguin. Most times seals fail in cars, it just leads to a loss of power - not a breakdown.

 

[hart's shirt]

It's quite true.

I heard it from a reliable source.

 

[Dun Lurkin]

I think it was a nun and a short sighted mechanic

 

[Albion my Albion]

I don’t understand how the penguin would be able to drive a car, given that it’s backbone is such that it would be impossible for it to sit and reach the pedals at the same time. I don’t therefore believe this incident happened.

He had the controls on the steering wheel such as what disabled drivers sometimes have to do. Geeeeeezzzz!