Joke de Joor

[1067Seagull]

Steven Hawkkins (no relative to the brighton center halve) was admitted to hosspital last night after goin out on a date. He has a fraktured skul, brokken arm and sever cuts and briuses. Apparrentlty she stood him up.

I was told that one at Fresshers ball last night. Adrie copped off with a girl from dudley afterwards, he sharred his chikcen zinger with her from KFC and gott as far as a cloth tit. He"s foning her today for a propper night out. Rekcons he will brake his duck by end of the weekkend

 

[Everest]

Can you get someone to translate into meaningful English, please?

 

[Nibble]

Steven Hawkkins (no relative to the brighton center halve) was admitted to hosspital last night after goin out on a date. He has a fraktured skul, brokken arm and sever cuts and briuses. Apparrentlty she stood him up.

I was told that one at Fresshers ball last night. Adrie copped off with a girl from dudley afterwards, he sharred his chikcen zinger with her from KFC and gott as far as a cloth tit. He"s foning her today for a propper night out. Rekcons he will brake his duck by end of the weekkend

You can tell the students are back in town. Saw a bunch of the twats pushing their mate around in a shopping trolley by St Peters Church the other night. Hilarious.

Student tosser.

 

[NMH]

You can tell the students are back in town. Saw a bunch of the twats pushing their mate around in a shopping trolley by St Peters Church the other night. Hilarious.

Student tosser.

Yeah but see, you did stuff like that at some time or other, got past it and find it passe. These new jacks have to try it once - so they can one day call the young students "tossers".
Do you not see that, you miserable old ****?

 

[Icy Gull]

As pisstakes go 3/10 as the number of spelling mistakes is ott

 

[El Presidente]

I like students!

 

[Trigger]

Thatt's abbout ass funnny ass havving yourr knobb sanddpappered.

 

[Nibble]

Yeah but see, you did stuff like that at some time or other, got past it and find it passe. These new jacks have to try it once - so they can one day call the young students "tossers".
Do you not see that, you miserable old ****?

Yes I see that totally. Now I am exercising my right to condemn them!!!

 

[El Presidente]

As pisstakes go 3/10 as the number of spelling mistakes is ott

Try marking their work, you would be astounded at the poor quality of English. A significant minority seem to think they are communicating by SMS in essays.

 

[Icy Gull]

Try marking their work, you would be astounded at the poor quality of English. A significant minority seem to think they are communicating by SMS in essays.

Can I assume that bad grammar and incorrect use of English in essays is not marked down then?

 

[El Presidente]

Can I assume that bad grammar and incorrect use of English in essays is not marked down then?

Yup! It is seen as discriminating against overseas students, who contribute huge sums to the coffers, so we ignore all the speling (sic) issues.

 

[mattb]

it makes me furious that f***ing idiots who can't spell or construct proper sentences don't get (massively) marked down for it

so many people seem to lack the basics of our language.

 

[El Presidente]

it makes me furious that f***ing idiots who can't spell or construct proper sentences don't get (massively) marked down for it

so many people seem to lack the basics of our language.

You can't polish a turd, but you can give it a degree!

 

[Icy Gull]

Yup! It is seen as discriminating against overseas students, who contribute huge sums to the coffers, so we ignore all the speling (sic) issues.

So to get a degree in English you don't actually have to be able to speak, write, spell or express it properly? Wonder if they apply the same lax principles to surgeons to qualify them

 

[El Presidente]

So to get a degree in English you don't actually have to be able to speak, write, spell or express it properly? Wonder if they apply the same lax principles to surgeons to qualify them

Can't comment on an English degree to be honest as not my area.

 

[house your seagull]

You can't polish a turd, but you can give it a degree!

i was going to say, it is MMU ... those who speak english in line A, those who don't speak english in line B, those with a cheque already in line C please.

 

[1066gull]

i actually talk English.

 

[Adam Virgo's Shirt]

i actually talk English.

But you're not too good at writting (sic) it!

 

[Everest]

i actually talk English.

Speak! I actually SPEAK English.

 

[drew]

Thatt's abbout ass funnny ass havving yourr knobb sanddpappered.

Interesting, would that be with a course finish or a 'between coats' paper?