Jesus Christ, Superstar...

[Superphil]

Come on then, a thread full of juvenile songs and ditties we used to sing as kids, and thought were hilarious. I’ll start you off with a couple:

Jesus Christ, Superstar
Wears frilly knickers
And a see-through bra


Happy birthday to you
Squashed tomatoes and stew
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too!

(I have to say, I still use the second one at my nephews/nieces and godchildrens parties )

 

[dannyboy]

jesus christ superstar came down from heaven on a yamaha
did a skid killed a kid
chopped off his balls on a dustbin lid

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

We four Beatles of liverpool are
John in a taxi
Paul in a Car
George on a scooter tooting his hooter
Following Ringo Starr

 

[upthealbion1970]

Batman and Robin in the batmobile
Batman did a fart and paralysed the wheels
The wheels couldn't take it
The engine blew apart
And all because of Batman and his supersonic fart

 

[The Ringleader Returns!]

Jingle bells, Jingle bells
Robin laid an egg
The batmobile lost it's wheel
so the joker got away
HEY!

 

[Tubby Mondays]

You walk across the class
And it squirts out your arse
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

I was climbing up a tree
And it dribbled down my knee
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

I was crawling underneath
And it dribbled through my teeth
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

 

[Tubby Mondays]

Happy birthday to you
Flush your head down the loo
If you taste it
Dont waste it
Happy birthday to you

 

[The Antikythera Mechanism]

My friend Billy had a ten foot willy
And he showed it to the lady next door
She thought it was a snake
And hit it with a rake
And now it's only two foot four

 

[The Spanish]

fun fun we have fun
flicking bogies at the sun
when the sun gets too hot
all the bogies turn to snot

 

[Tubby Mondays]

Do your balls hang low
do they wobble to and fro
can you tie them in a knot
can you tie them in a bow
do you get a funny feeling
when youre hanging from the ceiling
oh youll never be a sailor if your balls hang low

 

[smudge]

Even as late as the 60's we still sang

"Hitler, has only got 1 ball
The other is in the Albert Hall

(forgot the rest).

 

[Mackenzie]

You walk across the class
And it squirts out your arse
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

I was climbing up a tree
And it dribbled down my knee
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

I was crawling underneath
And it dribbled through my teeth
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

It comes from your bum
Like a bullet from a gun
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

People think its funny
Cos its brown and very runny
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

 

[Badger]

Even as late as the 60's we still sang

"Hitler, has only got 1 ball
The other is in the Albert Hall

(forgot the rest).

I think we used to sing:

Land of soap and water
Hitler's having a bath
Churchill's looking through the keyhole
Trying not to laugh

Hitler has only got one ball....

 

[gullshark]

Even as late as the 60's we still sang

"Hitler, has only got 1 ball
The other is in the Albert Hall

(forgot the rest).

Hitler, has only got 1 ball
The other is in the Albert Hall / on the Berlin Wall
His mother, the dirty fucker
Cut it off when he was small.

 

[Gazwag]

One banana, two banana, three banana, four
Four bananas make a bunch and off they went to war
One had a tommy gun, one had a stick
and one had a hand grenade tied upon is tra la la, la la la la, tra la la, la la la la

 

[West Hoathly Seagull]

Even as late as the 60's we still sang

"Hitler, has only got 1 ball
The other is in the Albert Hall

(forgot the rest).

Himmler has got one similar
But poor old Goebbels's got no balls at all!

At least I think that's how it goes.

 

[Everest]

Trebor mints are a minty bit stronger
Stick 'em up your arse and they last a bit longer

I got a clout round the head from my mum for that

 

[upthealbion1970]

It comes from your bum
Like a bullet from a gun
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

People think its funny
Cos its brown and very runny
Diarrhea
Diarrhea

It comes from your bum like pedigree chum

 

[upthealbion1970]

Mamma Mia
Someones got diarrhoea
Splish splash
Oops it missed the toilet

 

[Ninja Elephant]

When you're running in a race and it splats in your face...