I've had a bit of a bad day

[FatSuperman]

That's a hard day and a harder story mate. We seem to have a similar set up, although I think I've got an easier route out than you. I'm 38 next month and have a 2.5 year old daughter (and 1.5 year old and 11 year old sons!). Renting as well. I did have a house but my parents started to really struggle a decade ago so I sold and gave them the money so they didn't lose their place, have been helping them out since but they're ok now so I'm back to saving for myself and the family. Having no money and no easy way to increase what you earn is horrible, truly horrible. Money certainly is not the answer to everything but the lack of it can cause a lot of problems. The pressure to work to keep the money in when you have those people at home reliant on you is a constant pressure. You don't notice it each day, and when the car goes wrong, or the electricity bill is far higher than you anticipated, it all adds up. It's death by a thousand cuts.

You're doing the right thing Spongy, studying and putting yourself on a path to a better future, so whatever you do please keep at that. As for Graham, all you can really do is remember the good times you shared. Look back on what he has taught you and be proud that such a good bloke thought enough of you to spend his time in that way. I assume he was an Albion fan?

Rest in peace Graham.

 

[drew]

Bad day so sympathies to you.

In the morning, whatever the state of your head, give your daughter a big hug.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Sometimes you read things that really hits you hard.

Best wishes to this chaps family.

 

[essbee1]

Why not? That's left me somewhat bemused. I know I'm drunk now and I'm thanking auto correct for seeming quiet sober. I need to go to bed as I have to get back to it tomorrow.

Because to tell you about my hugely positive experiences with academic learning would seem
inappropriate at this juncture.

 

[spongy]

Hi Spongy, I’ve been working all day and only just seen this. Really sorry to hear about your experience today and especially for your poor old mate Graham, RIP. Many condolences to his family for whom this must have come as a total shock.

When we met in the Hassocks a couple of weeks back all you talked about (apart from the Albion) was the bambino and the missus. That’s what you need to focus on right now.

Chin up mate and, as we discussed, feel free to PM or email me your latest HNC assignment so I can cast an eye over that if it helps take a bit of pressure off you.

PM me if you want a chat. I won’t be down in Sussex until next Monday.

Thank-you SUA. I love this place. I have had a lot of support and advice here tonight. A lot of the time some of the comments and threads on here really piss me off. But meeting some of the contributors on here at times, such as you really does show that we stick together, sometimes we take the piss, sometimes us on here can just just be damn right rude to each other but the fact I'm a relatively scarce poster and more of a browser that others have shown support really means,a lot.

I have the easter break before that Business Management Techniques assignment is due and I think it's done, just some editing and tidying left I think, it's such a vaguely worded assignment that it's been a struggle to decipher. If you wouldn't mind,checking it over and crossing i's and dotting t"s it would be appreciated. I shall be in the pub on Monday from 11.30ish so if you don't struggle in traffic on the way down from Stratford upon Avon I shall,see you for a pint a and a chat.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Thanks. I just didn't know what else to do. A few of the other guys are struggling just asmuch as me. He had worked here for 27 years. I was the last to join 7 years ago I think. The other guys have known him a lot longer than me. Our staff turnover rate is ridiculously low. He taught and trained me. My mentor so to speak. He had probably forgotten more than I know.

Another proper engineer leaves us. The skills and experience he had is now gone. Although he has taught me a lot I can say for certain an awful lot more has died with him.

It's crap, my mentor (when I was an apprentice aircraft engineer) was a gent, I ended up a hangar manger and his boss, however years later long after retirement he passed and it really hit me. There's a few people in life that really hit you ,and sometimes it's not apparent.

 

[Since1982]

Some minor consolation, you were there. A friend and a colleague at that moment, it was you not a stranger who called the ambulance. Small consolation I know.

 

[Sussex Nomad]

Sorry for this. Just needed to get it out.

RIP Graham. A lovely bloke and great colleague.

One day it'll be us GM, bad day for you. We haven't had a beer for a while.

G.

 

[spongy]

Cheers mate. Well have to arrange to meet before season is up. I need to go to bed. Early start again.

 

[Pogue Mahone]

Well, this puts a couple of annoying, but minor inconveniencies today into perspective.

Stay strong, Spongy, sending positive vibes in your direction.

 

[TottonSeagull]

What a sad day. Similar thing happened to me a few years ago. It makes you reaccess what is important and how little time we are actually about for. Hope tomorrow is a better day!

 

[BadFish]

Sorry to hear this dude, shitty day.

Lots of good advice on here. Keep studying though and things will get better.

While you are doing it focus on what you have and appreciate the good things in life.

Sent from my SM-A520F using Tapatalk

 

[sydney]

Just using here to get some thoughts off my chest really.

I was driving to work early this morning on my usual route and saw a car parked half on the road and pavement at a funny angle and thought it a bit strange. When I drove passed I had a look in the window and saw it was a colleague of mine who lives close by. It looked like he was reading so I carried on.

I had a feeling something wasn't quite right so I turned around at the roundabout at the end of the road and pulled up next to him and tapped on his window but he didn't respond. I moved my car and ran up to his and opened his door. No response from him.

I started to panic and phoned an ambulance. The call handler told me to get him out of his car and lay him down and wait for the ambulance.

What seemed like hours but probably only a few minutes later the ambulance arrived and the 3 girls started cpr and tried to help him.

They worked on him for a good 20 minutes before loading him into the ambulance and on to hospital.

Whilst this was happening I had to go to his house and get his wife so she could go to hospital with him.

I went into work and told my boss. News reached us at 11.30 that he hadn't made it.

To top it all off I've had to run his machine today. All his stuff there, it's been horrible.

I've worked with him for nearly 7 years. Him and me were the two there all hours, working all the overtime to get things done.

He was in his 60's and considering retiring.

It's got me thinking a lot today. Although I'm "only" 38 we were quite similar. Work bloody hard to try and earn a living. Working 55-60 hours a week instead of 37.5. Every week.

It's OK earning money but I really need the overtime to have half a chance of having any kind of social life. I don't own my own house. Probably never will as me and the Mrs and stuck in the renting trap.

I've got a 2.5 year old daughter that I love with all heart. I ****ING die right now for her if it meant she had half a chance in this shitty world.

I don't see her at all during the week. I'm out to work before she's awake and home after she's in bed. I've always told myself it's just the way it is, I never really saw my,dad growing up in pretty much the same situation.

I'm currently studying for an HNC in engineering so I can get qualified and move up so I don't have to put,all,these hours in but I'm finding the long work days, busy weekends and late nights studying every day are beginning to take its toll on me both physically and mentally and my whole work/life balance is so screwed I woke up and got ready for work at 6.15 on Sunday.

What is life thing all about. Judging by today's events it seems you work ****ing hard and then die. And Im not going to leave a house for my daughter. My only pension is the work one which started 2 years ago so it looks like I'll be working til I die anyway.

Just what is the point of it all?

Sorry for this. Just needed to get it out.

RIP Graham. A lovely bloke and great colleague.

chin up mate......as i have travelled around the world i have noticed that it appears to be those that have the least are the happiest.......the western governments have got us where they want us...too busy working to stay afloat to have any decent family time and general quality of life....oh and we get to give about a 3rd of everything we earn straight back to them in taxes .....sorry about your workmate but every now and then things do happen that make us think ....wtf am i doing...??

 

[Greg Bobkin]

Thank-you SUA. I love this place. I have had a lot of support and advice here tonight. A lot of the time some of the comments and threads on here really piss me off. But meeting some of the contributors on here at times, such as you really does show that we stick together, sometimes we take the piss, sometimes us on here can just just be damn right rude to each other but the fact I'm a relatively scarce poster and more of a browser that others have shown support really means,a lot.

I have the easter break before that Business Management Techniques assignment is due and I think it's done, just some editing and tidying left I think, it's such a vaguely worded assignment that it's been a struggle to decipher. If you wouldn't mind,checking it over and crossing i's and dotting t"s it would be appreciated. I shall be in the pub on Monday from 11.30ish so if you don't struggle in traffic on the way down from Stratford upon Avon I shall,see you for a pint a and a chat.

Just seen this and my thoughts are with you spongy. Sounds like an awful day and I hope you feel a bit better this morning. Easier said than done, but look after yourself and your family – you all need to come first, even before work. It's not fair that a boss should put that much pressure on their staff – and it doesn't matter how big or small, or busy or quiet the business is, staff need to be happy and healthy, or else they won't be operating at 100%.

Having said that, I'm not sure what the answer is, but I would DEFINITELY make the most of the long weekend with the family and hope that you feel better.

RIP Graham.

 

[daveybgtt]

The longer you work somewhere, the more people you have worked with will pass away.

We had a bloke in his 40's die because he drank himself to death, went off with measles and never came back, was drinking a bottle of vodka daily. Left a 3 year old son behind, wasn't a pleasant funeral.

Another guy I used to work with went off on annual leave and didn't return, he was a cantankerous old git from Bristol had a proper west country accent and made for some good laughs at work, really enjoyed working with him, used to give him a lift down the pub on a Wednesday night. Turns out he committed suicide, walked into the sea at Shoreham, he was in his 60's.

The latest one was this week, guy only retired start of the year, worked all his life and never got to enjoy his retirement.

I used to work all hours, 12 hour nights, weekends, 12 hour day shifts etc. Much happier now that I work 35 hours, plenty of time at home with the family. I was lucky as the overtime helped me get a mortgage. Also I have a 5 minute commute, I wouldn't swap that for an extra 10k a year.

 

[DJ NOBO]

I may be being naive here but I can't believe your boss expected you to work yesterday and today.

Hop you get the chance for some good family time at the weekend

 

[Durlston]

Thoughts with you at the moment, spongy.

It really does puts everything into perspective when we lose someone close to us. Make sure you have a fantastic long weekend with your family over Easter.

RIP Graham.

 

[pearl]

Just using here to get some thoughts off my chest really.

I was driving to work early this morning on my usual route and saw a car parked half on the road and pavement at a funny angle and thought it a bit strange. When I drove passed I had a look in the window and saw it was a colleague of mine who lives close by. It looked like he was reading so I carried on.

I had a feeling something wasn't quite right so I turned around at the roundabout at the end of the road and pulled up next to him and tapped on his window but he didn't respond. I moved my car and ran up to his and opened his door. No response from him.

I started to panic and phoned an ambulance. The call handler told me to get him out of his car and lay him down and wait for the ambulance.

What seemed like hours but probably only a few minutes later the ambulance arrived and the 3 girls started cpr and tried to help him.

They worked on him for a good 20 minutes before loading him into the ambulance and on to hospital.

Whilst this was happening I had to go to his house and get his wife so she could go to hospital with him.

I went into work and told my boss. News reached us at 11.30 that he hadn't made it.

To top it all off I've had to run his machine today. All his stuff there, it's been horrible.

I've worked with him for nearly 7 years. Him and me were the two there all hours, working all the overtime to get things done.

He was in his 60's and considering retiring.

It's got me thinking a lot today. Although I'm "only" 38 we were quite similar. Work bloody hard to try and earn a living. Working 55-60 hours a week instead of 37.5. Every week.

It's OK earning money but I really need the overtime to have half a chance of having any kind of social life. I don't own my own house. Probably never will as me and the Mrs and stuck in the renting trap.

I've got a 2.5 year old daughter that I love with all heart. I ****ING die right now for her if it meant she had half a chance in this shitty world.

I don't see her at all during the week. I'm out to work before she's awake and home after she's in bed. I've always told myself it's just the way it is, I never really saw my,dad growing up in pretty much the same situation.

I'm currently studying for an HNC in engineering so I can get qualified and move up so I don't have to put,all,these hours in but I'm finding the long work days, busy weekends and late nights studying every day are beginning to take its toll on me both physically and mentally and my whole work/life balance is so screwed I woke up and got ready for work at 6.15 on Sunday.

What is life thing all about. Judging by today's events it seems you work ****ing hard and then die. And Im not going to leave a house for my daughter. My only pension is the work one which started 2 years ago so it looks like I'll be working til I die anyway.

Just what is the point of it all?

Sorry for this. Just needed to get it out.

RIP Graham. A lovely bloke and great colleague.

Really sorry to read your horrific post, you are in shock and your boss should have sent you home yesterday!

 

[scamander]

I hope your daughter reads this when she's older so she can see what a great dad she has. What you did and the way you handled it shows strength, dignity and class. I'm sure Graham's family will also appreciate what you did in trying to help.

 

[Motogull]

Really sorry to read all that [MENTION=20792]spongy[/MENTION]. You did the right thing by Graham and he would be pleased with how you were there for his wife.

Keep studying. Things will get better.